emotional update
So I hadnt written about this previously cause I didnt think i was ready to and I'm not even going write that much but here are basic feelings at the current moment on something i consider an important part of my life.
At the begging of the summer shit hit the fan as i have already stated in past entries. I thought I had made a huge mistake but apparently it was the right one. I did make some mistakes i could have handled the situation a lot better but I could have done A LOT WORST (i mean so bad that.. well i wont even get into it). I'm still haveing trouble getting over some resentment and still have a lot of anger to deal with but starting over was the best idea. Its still difficult though and I dont want to keep bringing things up from the past or trying to get all the answers all at once I'm sure some things I'll learn more about in time and other things there are no answers for or its just not worth bringing up again. So over all I'm happy how the sitation turned out I hope the feeling is mutual in all respects because I have a lot of love, too much in fact for my own good. I've been hurt so much because of this love but I know it will never go away regardless of whatever happens everything I have ever said in the past and recently was the truth. I know I have to be patient and go day by day but as each day goes by I feel better and better not just about this one thing but about everything. Even things that didnt work out for me this summer or had to go away I know it happened for a reason and I'm a better person for it. I hope that all in all things continue to work out and for now I'm glad of who I am and how this has affected my life and I hope that is comprable with others as well.
In other news:
Right now despite having sworn to myself that I'm not going to date again or get attached to anyone I still have this overwhelming desire to meet someone new. Its just in my nature I guess..maybe its just human nature not to want to be alone. At least I know I can be alone now and still be wicked happy but there is still that void. Theres also no time, no time to meet andyone and no time to go out.. and I know I cant compromise school or my work in order to persue anything if there ever is anything to persue so I'm just going to continue to be happy for now and try to fight this urge. But still...
Side note:
Yesturday my day was soooo bad it was just funny
~Missed my class due to overwhelming stupidity and the fact i hadnt slept the night before
~Had the worst cramps ever at work (wanted to die)
~had to work in the candle section (allergies bleg)
~every 20 mins the intro to Sweet Caroline would come on (persoal HELL)
~ car got shit on by every bird in a 5 mile radius
good note:
~may switch jobs for more money and go work for Kelly at BBB (yay)
~ bought three cds :)
At the begging of the summer shit hit the fan as i have already stated in past entries. I thought I had made a huge mistake but apparently it was the right one. I did make some mistakes i could have handled the situation a lot better but I could have done A LOT WORST (i mean so bad that.. well i wont even get into it). I'm still haveing trouble getting over some resentment and still have a lot of anger to deal with but starting over was the best idea. Its still difficult though and I dont want to keep bringing things up from the past or trying to get all the answers all at once I'm sure some things I'll learn more about in time and other things there are no answers for or its just not worth bringing up again. So over all I'm happy how the sitation turned out I hope the feeling is mutual in all respects because I have a lot of love, too much in fact for my own good. I've been hurt so much because of this love but I know it will never go away regardless of whatever happens everything I have ever said in the past and recently was the truth. I know I have to be patient and go day by day but as each day goes by I feel better and better not just about this one thing but about everything. Even things that didnt work out for me this summer or had to go away I know it happened for a reason and I'm a better person for it. I hope that all in all things continue to work out and for now I'm glad of who I am and how this has affected my life and I hope that is comprable with others as well.
In other news:
Right now despite having sworn to myself that I'm not going to date again or get attached to anyone I still have this overwhelming desire to meet someone new. Its just in my nature I guess..maybe its just human nature not to want to be alone. At least I know I can be alone now and still be wicked happy but there is still that void. Theres also no time, no time to meet andyone and no time to go out.. and I know I cant compromise school or my work in order to persue anything if there ever is anything to persue so I'm just going to continue to be happy for now and try to fight this urge. But still...
Side note:
Yesturday my day was soooo bad it was just funny
~Missed my class due to overwhelming stupidity and the fact i hadnt slept the night before
~Had the worst cramps ever at work (wanted to die)
~had to work in the candle section (allergies bleg)
~every 20 mins the intro to Sweet Caroline would come on (persoal HELL)
~ car got shit on by every bird in a 5 mile radius
good note:
~may switch jobs for more money and go work for Kelly at BBB (yay)
~ bought three cds :)