Yep... Just another day...
So... Christmas was a mild disappointment, but that's what happens when you "grow up", I suppose. My 21st birthday is a week from tomorrow- Joy! I haven't necessarily been looking forward to this birthday- which is unusual for me, starting a countdown in October- Only a day or 2 ago have I gotten semi-excited about it. At first, I didn't wanna be pregnant on my birthday (obvious reasons) but as long as I'm not in the hospital, I'm not really gonna care too much that I have to spend my 21st birthday sober. He's due in a week and a half... crazy how time flew by. And yet, I am sooo unbelievably sick of being pregnant... It sucks so bad. I wanna see my feet again! I'm uncomfortable and my back hurts... It doesn't help that my "room-mates" smoke weed on a daily basis around me and make me feel left out... Ugh. Or are constantly getting drunk. Either way, constantly getting some kinds of fucked up all of the time... it's kinda getting old... especially since (I know, I sound psycho-) but it seems like they spend more time together than I actually get to spend time with Cory... Last night I woke up at 3 a.m., Cory wasn't in bed... I venture downstairs- Lo and Behold! They're both asleep downstairs. In a vain attempt to bring him to conciousness, I touch his arm and ask him if he's going to keep on sleeping down here- He looks at me, yawns, and replies yes as he turns over- Needless to say- That really pissed me off. Not only do they "bond" and get fucked up together everyday and stay up into the wee hours of dawn (being that I pass out around 9 on a good night- another con to being pregnant) now they're having little "sleepovers" downstairs. Argh. I shouldn't be trippin' about it... Deep down I'm fairly sure that they wouldn't betray me... But with these pregnancy-hormonal tendancies... I'm prone to imagining the worst. Plus, I don't like feeling left out at all. That doesn't help one bit. The other evening, he just lay on the couch and watched t.v. While I cleaned the room and took down Christmas decorations... He barely spoke to me at all. I finally fall asleep on the couch, only to be awakened by a very loud Siri arriving home from work. They started drinking and wow! He CAN talk. I muttered a comment about that being the most I heard out of him all night, with which I got a reply from Siri that I'm crazy. Whatever. Well, considering my circumstances and when I'm consistantly being pushed aside, what else would one think? And, of course, keeping in mind I AM 9 months pregnant... I don't mean to sound psychotic or paranoid... I'm just tired of being pregnant. Oh! And a few minutes ago, they call me... She had to get her door to her new car fixed and Cory went with her... Now they're still waiting on the car and at the mall right now. I asked if they'd be home when I got home, she said they didn't know... However, I have a Doctor's appointment, which I specifically made at a time I KNEW he could go because he hasn't gone to the last couple- and I reminded him of this... even though it was discussed last night... "he forgot". So I might hafta go by myself... AGAIN... for no apparent reason other than him dismissing me. I will be sooo pissed if he doesn't go. One more thing and I'll drop this subject- however- yesterday we both recieved Simon gift cards from his father and a Blockbuster gift card. Tell me why they were about to go shopping together yesterday while I was at work... I inquired to why he couldn't wait for me, being that I recieved one, too. He responded with a reluctant "I guess I can wait, but we're going on to Blockbuster"... Why is it he never, ever wants to go out and do anything with me, but yet... they're always doing something... he woulda left me at home the other night by myself to go to Siri's sister's birthday party... I went along to not be by myself while they embark on yet another adventure. Okay... Enough with all that... Soo... Today Katrina informs me that Greg (my boss) had made a comment about whether or not I'd be coming back after my maternity leave... They can't do that... If I'm not "fired" before my maternity leave... they can't permanantly replace me, right??? That's so incredibly fucked up... I cried when she had told me that. He said (direct quote) "I'm gonna go up to Hooters and see if I can find a new CSR there..." What a bastard. They hired me knowing I was pregnant... what the hell!? So yeah, needless to say, I'm not in the best of moods today. And my mom's making this huge deal about my "birthday dinner"- she asked me if I wanted it on my actual birthday or the next day, a Friday. Cory wanted to take me out on my birthday and she gives me a bunch of crap of how I'm putting him above my family and I hurt her feelings and blah blah blah. It's not even that deep... what's it matter? I didn't see them my last birthday! Blah. Everything is just irking me lately. Oh, one more log to throw on the fire... I'm not getting that car, after all... which is bullshit- my Uncle is a piece of shit... AND- I think I'm developing Carpel Tunnel Syndrome... My wrist hurts all of the time and my finger/hand goes numb. I was squeezing out conditioner and they went numb... I brush my teeth and my fingers go numb... I brush my hair and it's so painful. Well, enough bitching... Hopefully my next entry will be a little more upbeat. Sorry~kinda needed to vent on a couple things... I won't get into everything... If I did it would probably take up a whole "page" on this LJ... : ) So- With that I'll close.