(no subject)
I'm in another state of spiritual confusion but at least this time I know that I hold the power to straighten things out. I'm still suffering from depression which has really hindered my spiritual progress, not to mention that my self-esteem issues have me trying to shoehorn myself into any group I feel will give me the answers on a silver platter. It's no good reading (or rather, skim-reading) the books and collecting trinkets. I need to connect with the divine whether I am in front of a shrine or not.
They are coming back to me. I have had some beautiful dreams and experiences lately that have sparked a sense of longing in my heart.
Bast dream: I was sat in my living room when I noticed my Bast statue was turning her head and looking around the room. I was dumbstruck! I managed to say "I saw that" and She seemed as shocked as I was...almost as if I had managed to connect to the unseen world. I went on to have a lovely conversation with Bast and woke up feeling immense love
Anubis dream: I was in a temple complex but with a very relaxed, homey atmosphere. I kept kneeling to the Anubis statues and confusing my companions (non pagans). Suddenly one of the statues became the God himself. He made me a delicious cup of tea (my favourite!) and sat with me. We didn't need to talk, I just enjoyed the tea and sitting with him. A cool breeze drifted through the temple and I felt pure peace. I was so excited when I woke up I had to tell my husband. Now, he is Christian but he doesn't deny my faith or Gods. In fact, he's experienced a few coincidences that we both chuckle about. We agree that we both have faith and follow a good path, our bosses are just based in different offices :)
The final thing is an experience that shocked me. I've been trying to open myself up to more things but in a controlled way. Before when I have dabbled with divination or the like I have ended up scaring myself because things move so quickly. I have been experiencing many of the symptoms that are associated with your spirit becoming more attuned with the unseen world. A psychic even told me that I have a talent but am blocking it. A few practices based on instinct rather than me focusing too hard have been positive.
Anyhoo, I went to church with my husband and sister-in-law. I've only been to church a handful of times my entire life and have felt uncomfortable every single time. Aset even had to rescue me once from fainting in a Baptist church. I went to be with my husband and to share in his faith, seen as he is so accepting of mine. Almost two hours into the long and boring service a new preacher came on stage. He was charismatic, smart and full of spirit. I saw his aura and this is what shocked me. I saw it so strong and so clearly I thought I was hallucinating. It was golden and stretched all around him like a light. I checked other people on the stage but picked up nothing from them. It was beautiful. I told my husband, s-i-l and her friends but their reactions made me feel as though they were humouring the little pagan they had hoped to convert (not my husband!). How can they go to church at least twice a week and be so pious yet dismiss something so divine?
They are coming back to me. I have had some beautiful dreams and experiences lately that have sparked a sense of longing in my heart.
Bast dream: I was sat in my living room when I noticed my Bast statue was turning her head and looking around the room. I was dumbstruck! I managed to say "I saw that" and She seemed as shocked as I was...almost as if I had managed to connect to the unseen world. I went on to have a lovely conversation with Bast and woke up feeling immense love
Anubis dream: I was in a temple complex but with a very relaxed, homey atmosphere. I kept kneeling to the Anubis statues and confusing my companions (non pagans). Suddenly one of the statues became the God himself. He made me a delicious cup of tea (my favourite!) and sat with me. We didn't need to talk, I just enjoyed the tea and sitting with him. A cool breeze drifted through the temple and I felt pure peace. I was so excited when I woke up I had to tell my husband. Now, he is Christian but he doesn't deny my faith or Gods. In fact, he's experienced a few coincidences that we both chuckle about. We agree that we both have faith and follow a good path, our bosses are just based in different offices :)
The final thing is an experience that shocked me. I've been trying to open myself up to more things but in a controlled way. Before when I have dabbled with divination or the like I have ended up scaring myself because things move so quickly. I have been experiencing many of the symptoms that are associated with your spirit becoming more attuned with the unseen world. A psychic even told me that I have a talent but am blocking it. A few practices based on instinct rather than me focusing too hard have been positive.
Anyhoo, I went to church with my husband and sister-in-law. I've only been to church a handful of times my entire life and have felt uncomfortable every single time. Aset even had to rescue me once from fainting in a Baptist church. I went to be with my husband and to share in his faith, seen as he is so accepting of mine. Almost two hours into the long and boring service a new preacher came on stage. He was charismatic, smart and full of spirit. I saw his aura and this is what shocked me. I saw it so strong and so clearly I thought I was hallucinating. It was golden and stretched all around him like a light. I checked other people on the stage but picked up nothing from them. It was beautiful. I told my husband, s-i-l and her friends but their reactions made me feel as though they were humouring the little pagan they had hoped to convert (not my husband!). How can they go to church at least twice a week and be so pious yet dismiss something so divine?