midnight fireflies.
of all the days, i wish that today i could have just _slept in_, but no. mass, just like every damn sunday, was at 11, so waking up at 10 is a must. unfortunately. don't get me wrong-- even though i know i'm converting to another religion when i get out of the house, i still believe in god. unlike most people i know though, i believe that there is a possibility of more gods. of course, explaining this to mom might be a little difficult. so i let the subject rest for now and leave it for later on, once i can do something about it.
so today is father's day. how... lovely. personally, i'm not a fan of dad anyway, so why bother celebrating such a holiday. his birthday was just the other day, and that was good enough. too bad they just couldn't fall on the same day. i know, i know. i sound bitter. i sound mean. and it's not right. but if dad was actually planning on being a "father", then i could definitely find a reason to care. *shakes head* i'll stop now. a part of me does feel guilty for having such negative thoughts towards him, even though i know he deserves it in all ways.
the party went really well yesterday. in fact, beth and i were talking, and we thought that things just went almost too smoothly. that never happens... *suspicious look* ALL the guests, including the filipinos, came at exactly the right time... that, too, never happens. there are usually different shifts that all the relatives come at: mom's side right on time ((sometimes early)) and dad's late at night. my friends come whenever they feel like it; shawn, of course, very early. ^_^ all in all, it went great. teresa, becky, and amanda grimm all came... i was disappointed that kelly couldn't make it. i'm hoping it was because of work and not tip or chris. i always try to make her little get-togethers. but, well... she doesn't all the time. it kind of hurts my feelings knowing that she'd rather spend all her time with everyone else and not just stop in for a minute with me. *shrug* there's nothing i can do about that though.
at one point, shawn and i went out to take a walk... it was really nice. fresh air. him. just talking. i love him.
_you stay the course, you hold the line
_you keep it all together
_you're the one true thing i know i can believe in
_you're all the things that i desire
_you save me, you complete me
_you're the one true thing i know i can believe
[sarah mclachlan; push]