everything is harder then it has to be, but i cant tell you why...
so everything is doing better. saw the school conselor today. she was really nice and she didnt sound like she was gonna send me anywhere or anything, so thats a big relief. i havint cut in 8 days. i was about to give in on the 5th day (saturday) and sat down with my knife and then the phone rang, and it was nathan. im glad he called. we went to see the grudge, it was such a good movie it was really scary. after that we went to his house and got drunk, that was good. moved a buncha shit to my new house on sunday. the 4 day weekend was kind of lame, but saturday was good. i realized i dont go out near as much as i used to, im gonna start to more. havint talked to garret since friday. i dont think he likes me, so thats dissapointing. i guess i'll just wait for him to call...
anyone up for a halloween party? i'd like to go trick-or-treating and i definately am, but i wanna go to a party after if anyone has one that they were invited to, hit me up and i will accompany you ;)
i found this and thought it was cute...I bolded what i would love, and underlined the stuff that i would totally love, but know would never actually happen.
I want a boy.
A nice boy.
A boy who has shaggy hair and lets me play with it.
Someone who would move the hair away from my eyes and then kiss me.
Hold my hand in line at the mall and make all the girls jealous.
A pretty boy.
But not so pretty I feel awkward.
Someone who wears the same size as me in girl’s pants.
Someone who would think I was beautiful if I dressed so trashy it was classy.
Someone who would sing to me at random moments.
Who would let me sleep on their chest.
Someone whose hipbones made me want to have sex with them.
A boy who would beat the shit out of someone if they called me fat.
I want someone who wouldn’t mind buying me bouncy balls whenever given the chance.
And I would love it that whenever we went to shows, He'd let me drool over the lead singer for the night.
And of course he’d be in a band, and he’d be so emo he’d cry sometimes.
This boy would wear his trucker hats side ways and let me wear them too.
We wouldn’t have any rules about whose clothes are who's.
When he goes away, he would call me 3 times a day.
He would apologize for calling too much and no matter how many times I tell him its okay, he still does it.
He wouldn’t mind me reciting the lines to all my favorite movies.
He would surprise me with 25-cent rings.
And on his birthday, I'd treat him to his favorite restaurant.
We would have contests of how far we could spit our gum, or how far we could jump off a swing
He would take me to the park.
We'd make fun of people at the mall together.
He would grab my waste and kiss my neck.
Sometimes at night we would put on music and dance in our pajamas.
Oh and I’d love his bed head.
I could suck on his lip ring too.
And we'd always take pictures in photo booths.
He'd never turn down a trip to the boardwalk.
We would play tag on the beach.
He’d tell all his friends about me and smile at me when he did.
This boy would dedicate songs to me at his shows.
He'd even call up radio stations to do it.
We'd sit on the kitchen floor and eat PB&J sandwiches.
We’d make out in the rain.
He would write me notes to tell me where he was if he left when I wasn’t around.
Whenever I saw a funky purse, he'd encourage me to buy it.
He'd always tell me when something didn’t look good, and I didn’t mind.
His nails will be painted black, and we will sit and paint each other’s nails.
We would play Play Station.
Sometimes he would teach me how to play guitar, but we would always end up laughing at each other.
He’d make cute noises in his sleep, like when he’d roll over.
He'd run his fingers through my hair, even if I haven’t washed it in a week.
Someone to share lolly pops with.
He will get along with all my friends, and vice versa.
We'll go to the diner real late and make friends with everyone there.
He would quit smoking for me.
He would never be embarrassed to say "I Love You" In front of his friends.
He never censors himself if he wants to say 'cute' or 'aww'.
I want a boy who can argue over stupid things with me, and than go totally soft when I got sad and apologized.
I want a boy who would take me to a place like Target just to make fun of certain things.
He'd love music just as much as I do, but still have that punk rock side to him.
We’d die each other’s hair and stain towels.
We'd have a candle lit dinner with take out.
He would pretend box with me and buy me swords at toy stores.
We'll kiss at midnight on new years in Times Square.
We would make funny faces at each other when I’m on the phone.
I want a boy who can mosh like a mother fucker then come home and sing to me acoustic.
I want someone who would lay with me outside under the stars.
I want a boy who appreciates the trashy side of a girl.
Someone who would take me to the city just to walk around.
Someone who will squirt me with water guns in the house.
I would like to write my name in a heart on his hipbone, and him to write his on mine.
Someone who would tell me I was beautiful, but not too often.
Talk to on aim about stupid things.
Someone who would look me in the eye and tell me something very, very serious, yet silly and tell me not to laugh.
Someone who doesn’t mind me drooling over all the hott boys.
Someone who would make me laugh like no one else could.
He'd pick up a flower for me while walking.
We would Scream every word to every song we listened to.
He'd surprise me all the time.
He’d like to chew gum just as much as I did.
He wouldn't break my heart or lie to me.
A boy who would watch me put makeup on and let me put a little glitter on his cheek.
A boy who likes stars also like I do.
We'd quote lines from movies or songs to describe the moment.
He'd hold me closer then normal if I was sick.
His feet wouldn’t bother me as much as everyone else’s do.
He would draw me pictures.
We'd go out a lot, but also stay home some weekends like hermits and keep to ourselves.
He'd let me pick out a few cute shirts for him, and we'd play dress up.
When we kissed our hips will be pressed together.
He'd play with my hair.
We'd go to different phone booths and call each other.
We'd buy disposable cameras in bulk and take tons of pictures.
We'd fight sometimes.
But he never settles on what I think, it would have to be mutual.
I want a boy who wouldn’t mind to change his ways and open up to me.