some recent writing...
he cant quite remember, but he thinks his record was 8. 8 times he'd managed to come in a 24-hour period. those were really lonely times though, the living in the middle of nowehre, no good friends, no ravishing crushes, before the internet, sitting upstairs in his uncle robert's room all day long in the summer, pretending to play videogames while he was at work. before the days of having 6 little internet windows open at once, there was borrowed porn from his other uncle's room across the hall, a whole stack of about 40 magazines in a dresser. every time he took one he would count down how far it was in the stack and always put it back exactly as he found it.
the "record day" he's pretty sure, was one of those days in his uncle's bed with 4 or 5 magazines sprawled out opene to his favorite pages, jerking as much as possible--just to see, what exactly WAS possible. he was still young, after all, far from the first time he accidentally discovered pussy when he turned on the vcr one day and found a brunetter masturbating intensely, licking her fingers and then diving deep into her hairy hole again, but still young. that time he didnt really know what he was watching, only that he wanted to see more. the first full porno movie he ever watched was debbie does dishes, starring nina hartley, and boy, was it retarded. although he was pretty intrigued by the vacuum-looking fucking machine contraption used throughout the movie, more so perhaps even than watching guys penetrate the girls, the highlight of this movie was definitely the lesbian scene. other than that it was pretty basic, no anal, only a few different positions. but until that scene he had never even really imagined that 2 girls could get off by grinding their pussies together. it kind of made him feel like his dick was pretty pointless and well...boring, and he found himself constantly craving a pussy. it seemed much more interesting to be able to put things inside of yoru body and get pleasure than to be the one sticking it in. he wanted to know desperately what it was like to be a girl and be able to masturbate. he would often try to fantasize that he was actually a girl, which ultimately led to the discovery of his asshole as a metaphor for a vagina.
as a virgin, he imagined, that the closest possible feeling one could get to fingering a pussy was to put a finger in one's own ass. luckily he had grown up with his grandparents and having vaseline in the medicine cabinet and an old enema bag hanging from a nail above the toilet was something he had been familiar with since his early childhood. the first time he pulled his finger back out dirty and smelling like shit, it occured to him to try the enema bag, and after all the watery shit had erupted from him into the toilet as a soup of mud, he wasn't exactly sure how deep and cavernous his clean new asshole had become. he searched the house for anything cylindrical and small he could find, experimenting with a double A battery (which he almost got stuck) a cigar tube, and a few other forgotten toys, but over the years, mostly, he has stuck with just a finger. he doesn't do it on many occasions, and wasn't doing it at all on the day he reached 8 orgasms if his memory doesn't betray him, but sometimes he just needs to feel something different, or try and remind himself what the last time he fingered a girl felt like, or the few memorable times he fingered an old girlfriend's ass.
"2 in the pink, one in the stink," she would always say, as her classmates had apparently treated as a rule of thumb. she always joked, telling him no one had ever eaten her ass, that someone would have to REALLY love a person to do that, yet she still seemed shocked the first time he actually did, yelling, "is that my ass? wow, you really DO love me."
that was kate, his first true love and taker of his virginity at 25. she was more experienced, yet somehow less talented at 18, and their age difference would eventually contribute heavily to their downfall. that was almost 3 years ago now since their 11-month romance had ended, and today he finds himself on a greyhound bus.
he is on a greyhound bus that has just crossed into ohio, and he is almost halfway there to meet another kate. it's 2:38am, he couldn't sleep, and thinking of one kate led him to think of the other kate, led him to thinking about how he's never actualy fucked anyone in the ass. he got it into kate's ass once but it didn't want to go all the way and he was too polite and too stupid with love to force it and he's always regretted never doing it with her. like, "she deserved it, that bitch." that fucking bitch that he would have married that basically left him to go fuck one of their friends from their favorite band. she deserved it, because to him, assfucking isn't about fun and love, or trying new things, it's about punishment. "lie there and take it, asshole. that's what you get for always trying to make me jealous by telling me every fucking comment random guys always say to you at college!"
"today this guy in my english class told me i was beautiful, it was so annoying, he always tries to touch me!"
"why do you always have to tell me this shit on the phone when i'm 3 hours away? why can't you just take it in the ass and tell me how much you love me?"
then he was thinking of how long it'd been since he jerked off, and then he was thinking of how he hardly ever seems to manage the attention for more than 2 or 3 times in a day tops anymore, and remember those few times like 10 years ago when he would always try and see how may times he could manage to come in a day? remember when he used to always watch the neighbors porno tapes his uncle borrowed and just donate entire afternoons to jerking off?
after all this he ended up in the bathroom, legs pressed against the walls for balance of the dark, boucy stinkhole in the back of the bus, bracing himself with his left arm and jerking with his right as hard and fast as he could. it wasn't one of those slow, deep-in-thought kinda stroke sessions. it was come-as-fast-as-you-can and get rid of all this tension built up an dtry and relax a little so you can sleep for a few hours before you're suddenly in her pasenger seat with a day-old erection and that undying ache in your gut to hump something.
she's gonna hate you. you know it.
(i still have about this much more to type still. this began as a letter and i'm entertaining the idea of letting it be the first chapter of material for a book......who knows.)
the "record day" he's pretty sure, was one of those days in his uncle's bed with 4 or 5 magazines sprawled out opene to his favorite pages, jerking as much as possible--just to see, what exactly WAS possible. he was still young, after all, far from the first time he accidentally discovered pussy when he turned on the vcr one day and found a brunetter masturbating intensely, licking her fingers and then diving deep into her hairy hole again, but still young. that time he didnt really know what he was watching, only that he wanted to see more. the first full porno movie he ever watched was debbie does dishes, starring nina hartley, and boy, was it retarded. although he was pretty intrigued by the vacuum-looking fucking machine contraption used throughout the movie, more so perhaps even than watching guys penetrate the girls, the highlight of this movie was definitely the lesbian scene. other than that it was pretty basic, no anal, only a few different positions. but until that scene he had never even really imagined that 2 girls could get off by grinding their pussies together. it kind of made him feel like his dick was pretty pointless and well...boring, and he found himself constantly craving a pussy. it seemed much more interesting to be able to put things inside of yoru body and get pleasure than to be the one sticking it in. he wanted to know desperately what it was like to be a girl and be able to masturbate. he would often try to fantasize that he was actually a girl, which ultimately led to the discovery of his asshole as a metaphor for a vagina.
as a virgin, he imagined, that the closest possible feeling one could get to fingering a pussy was to put a finger in one's own ass. luckily he had grown up with his grandparents and having vaseline in the medicine cabinet and an old enema bag hanging from a nail above the toilet was something he had been familiar with since his early childhood. the first time he pulled his finger back out dirty and smelling like shit, it occured to him to try the enema bag, and after all the watery shit had erupted from him into the toilet as a soup of mud, he wasn't exactly sure how deep and cavernous his clean new asshole had become. he searched the house for anything cylindrical and small he could find, experimenting with a double A battery (which he almost got stuck) a cigar tube, and a few other forgotten toys, but over the years, mostly, he has stuck with just a finger. he doesn't do it on many occasions, and wasn't doing it at all on the day he reached 8 orgasms if his memory doesn't betray him, but sometimes he just needs to feel something different, or try and remind himself what the last time he fingered a girl felt like, or the few memorable times he fingered an old girlfriend's ass.
"2 in the pink, one in the stink," she would always say, as her classmates had apparently treated as a rule of thumb. she always joked, telling him no one had ever eaten her ass, that someone would have to REALLY love a person to do that, yet she still seemed shocked the first time he actually did, yelling, "is that my ass? wow, you really DO love me."
that was kate, his first true love and taker of his virginity at 25. she was more experienced, yet somehow less talented at 18, and their age difference would eventually contribute heavily to their downfall. that was almost 3 years ago now since their 11-month romance had ended, and today he finds himself on a greyhound bus.
he is on a greyhound bus that has just crossed into ohio, and he is almost halfway there to meet another kate. it's 2:38am, he couldn't sleep, and thinking of one kate led him to think of the other kate, led him to thinking about how he's never actualy fucked anyone in the ass. he got it into kate's ass once but it didn't want to go all the way and he was too polite and too stupid with love to force it and he's always regretted never doing it with her. like, "she deserved it, that bitch." that fucking bitch that he would have married that basically left him to go fuck one of their friends from their favorite band. she deserved it, because to him, assfucking isn't about fun and love, or trying new things, it's about punishment. "lie there and take it, asshole. that's what you get for always trying to make me jealous by telling me every fucking comment random guys always say to you at college!"
"today this guy in my english class told me i was beautiful, it was so annoying, he always tries to touch me!"
"why do you always have to tell me this shit on the phone when i'm 3 hours away? why can't you just take it in the ass and tell me how much you love me?"
then he was thinking of how long it'd been since he jerked off, and then he was thinking of how he hardly ever seems to manage the attention for more than 2 or 3 times in a day tops anymore, and remember those few times like 10 years ago when he would always try and see how may times he could manage to come in a day? remember when he used to always watch the neighbors porno tapes his uncle borrowed and just donate entire afternoons to jerking off?
after all this he ended up in the bathroom, legs pressed against the walls for balance of the dark, boucy stinkhole in the back of the bus, bracing himself with his left arm and jerking with his right as hard and fast as he could. it wasn't one of those slow, deep-in-thought kinda stroke sessions. it was come-as-fast-as-you-can and get rid of all this tension built up an dtry and relax a little so you can sleep for a few hours before you're suddenly in her pasenger seat with a day-old erection and that undying ache in your gut to hump something.
she's gonna hate you. you know it.
(i still have about this much more to type still. this began as a letter and i'm entertaining the idea of letting it be the first chapter of material for a book......who knows.)