(no subject)
i cant remember the last time i felt so cold here for this long. the weather here has suddenly gotten pretty crazy, after so long without snow. it's hard to be a guerrilla artist when you can't feel your fucking hands.
paying rent is depressing. almost as depressing as actually driving an hour to work at a job you don't want to be at when it is this cold out, but...
it's a pain in the ass when for once you have more friends/comrades close by than you ever have in your life, that you can have intelligent conversations with and enjoy music and art and movies and food and shit, but at the same time you're feeling really creative and productive and inspired, yet...can't seem to find the time to actually PRODUCE all of your own work because you're busy helping out setting up venues and shit for others to do so. all i want to do is be able to set aside a day to write or draw or organize my life....
but for the first time in a long time, it feels like i really never have time for my own life...and i'm not even in some intense relationship or anything. it's a really strange feeling. on some days i think i second jenn's notion...i just want to be a hermit. or a recluse. antisocial bitter old writer guy locked in his crazy apt with floor to ceiling neatly organized chaos from 20 years of working on his own thoughts...paying some little green-eyed pigtailed girl on a bicycle to deliver my esoteric vegan groceries to me each day.
heh....
paying rent is depressing. almost as depressing as actually driving an hour to work at a job you don't want to be at when it is this cold out, but...
it's a pain in the ass when for once you have more friends/comrades close by than you ever have in your life, that you can have intelligent conversations with and enjoy music and art and movies and food and shit, but at the same time you're feeling really creative and productive and inspired, yet...can't seem to find the time to actually PRODUCE all of your own work because you're busy helping out setting up venues and shit for others to do so. all i want to do is be able to set aside a day to write or draw or organize my life....
but for the first time in a long time, it feels like i really never have time for my own life...and i'm not even in some intense relationship or anything. it's a really strange feeling. on some days i think i second jenn's notion...i just want to be a hermit. or a recluse. antisocial bitter old writer guy locked in his crazy apt with floor to ceiling neatly organized chaos from 20 years of working on his own thoughts...paying some little green-eyed pigtailed girl on a bicycle to deliver my esoteric vegan groceries to me each day.
heh....