its what I want
I want to be the best mom I can be to my kids, I want to give them everything they need and so much more. I want to always be there when they need me, the cool mom they can talk to about anything no matter what. I want to always be the friend that everybody can count on whoes always there in the middle of the night when you need a ride home or just somebody to talk to. The one who always know somethings wrong even when say otherwise. I want to know that my friends are always there for me, supporting me even when they think I'm wrong, not trying to screw up the things that make me happy because its not what they want for me. I want to be the daughter that makes my parents proud. I want them to know that even when I do things differently that want to expected that I'm still taking with me the things they tough me growing up. I want to do the things that make me happy, but I want the things that make me happy to want me too. I want people to know that this divorce is the best thing for me, it wasn't working out, it's over no chance I'm going back. I want people to realize that it doesn't make me a bad person for feeling that way, so stop trying to make me feel bad. I want finish school, get a job and work my ass off. Someday when the kids are older do the things I need to do to get into law school, become a bad ass District Attorney in a big city somewhere, start over clean slate. I want to travel see things that will amaze me. Meet Mark, Tom and Travis and thank them for pulling me though the horrible high school days. Find a way to show the person I love just how much he really means to me even if we don't want the same things. Stop being scared of things, learn to let go and put myself out they even though it all ends in pain. Life is too short to hold back. I want my moms arthritis to give her a break so she can live with out the pain. I want equal rights for gay people everywhere and I want people to stop being such tight asses and get over them self its okay to be different, okay to love and be with the same sex. I want my life to calm down, I want the control back. I want to get out of this house. I want people to stop stalking me, leave me alone so I can live my life. Stop trying to tell people things I do and want when you have no clue what you are talking about. I want to live my life, my way without being looked down on because in the end I deserve to be happy and have earned the right to try and be that way. I want self confidence and I want to lose the whole being shy thing. I want to learn better ways to deal with my emotions, I want to stop crying so much its not natural to cry with every emotion. I want to be me...whoever that is...