(no subject)
This is what I've found out. In Clyde, in my chidlhood years, it was difficult for me to make friends all on my lonesome. So in High School, just sastisfied with the friends I had, I realized that I wasn't happy with these friends. So then, I move to San Antonio and almost immediately start smoking pot. My junior year I didn't smoke and made only a few friends. But then senior year, when I started to smoke, it was just like I had a ton of friends. Maybe it's because I was happy with myself enough to make more friends and I didn't care anything about it. "They smoke pot? They've smoked with me? Definitely a friend of mine." And it was just like, BOOM. Friends everywhere. In fact I got so attached that I was very depressed when we graduated. And now at McMurry, I haven't been making a lot of friends until the other night when I finally got a hold of some pot. Do I use pot to make friends or is it the fact that I don't feel comfortable with myself enough to go up and meet people? Am I hiding behind pot? Do I use that as shield in feeling okay with myself? I don't know. It's just been rattling around in my head for the past couple of hours. Comment if you like.