in loving tribute to my biggest fan, LJ_evilneps
I've been screening out evilneps' anonymous comments on my livejournal entries, though recently I'd noticed an increasingly vituperative tide of insults volleyed my way, telling me I was a pussy for screening anonymous comments, that my girlfriend is ugly, that everyone hates me, and so forth. His journal, also, had become increasingly full of entries dedicated to slandering me, my friends, my stupid ratings communities, and everyone I may know.
I suddenly realized: evilneps feels unloved. This is a plain cry asking that he be paid the proper attention. What he really wants is for me to dedicate my journal to him, as he has his to me.
Seeing as I rarely write in it anyway, and feeling like I may be able to yet mend fences by making a gesture of placating him, I say:
LJ Evilneps, this wedrinkbitter journal entry is dedicated to you.
Thank you for livening up our lives, for hewing keenly and unflinchingly to the hidden and hideous nature of myself* and my dearest friends, and for making me feel like a true internet celebrity. I hope now, with this entry, you will be, too. Everyone, add him to your frenz lists, so that he no longer feels ignored, and make sure he knows his existence on this planet is not only justified, but appreciated. Then you may all read everything he has to say, without my editing and with the full volume of what I hope will be a newfound mutual respect and admiration between us.
Reuben went to see the Coup with me yesterday, and started getting very testy at all the people who were running up to him with adoring looks and trying to pet him and film him and love him. Turns out it's not just kids who smother him that get on his nerves.
"Is he trying to bite me, or is he just playing?"
"Uh, I think he's a little sick of all the attention."
Then back to running around and getting his head torn off by Meiko and barking like a trumpet.
On the lookout for paparazzi with roadkilljesus
A true spirit animal, with regard to celebrity.
*For the record, I only nail Reuben squarely in the ass on a biweekly basis. Day to day, we usually just 69 each other. And cuddle. Of course.