Tue, 15:30: Some of you have asked about my lesbian lizards AKA mourning geckos. Kristen Stewart here showed herself recently. The only one other than Joan Jett to do so thus far. https://t.co/27UxfYeeh4
Wed, 10:13: Tukkker Carlson and Don Lemon hired the same lawyer after getting fired. I’m not even sure why that’s funny. But it is.
Wed, 11:55: The Twitter blue my boss paid for has finally expired, yet my blue features (save the elusive checkmark) all still work. Love it. And I don’t even have to see Explody McRocketson in my feed. I’m really only here for one guy anyway… https://t.co/2wmBq2wPb5