You Can't Be Mad at God - and NOT Believe in Him.
I've decided to leave Neverland.
I have found that there are two types of people:
1.) those who dont really grow up and move on, they just ignor people until they feel they are out of their life and then think they are the bigger human.
2.) those who realize that differences between them and others they know cause a distance that cant be overcome by friendship, and just move on with their lives - feeling sadness that they no longer spend time with the person, but no real remorse, since the differences cause more heartache than good anyway.
The second person is a sign of maturity. Like when your parents told you in HS that when you grew up you wouldnt keep in much contact with those from high school. While the first is a sign of an ass-hole. people who dont know how to NOT be self absorbed.
i dont think ive ever really been a #1 type of guy. i dont make it a habbit to just ignor people, and if i have, im really sorry =(
but lately i have realized number two is who i am, and im not all that sad about it. For example: last night i was having a fine time laying in the living room watching tv and talking to my mom as she built a puzzle, a puzzle that the night before (while all my friends were all hanging out) was started by myself, my mother and my father. But last night Faniel and Pat came by, and i decided to go with them - ultimately to Rollie's house.
I should have stayed home. Not only was it time i could have been spending with my mother, but it was so...so...empty. i felt no happiness when i went out. i just went along like a zombie like every other night of this year.
But like i said, its not that i dont LIKE the people, its just ive come to the realization that im just, so, different. What i like, what i enjoy, what i find useful with my time - isnt the same as last year, or even last month for that matter. Its like a switch got turned on in the back of my mind, and i woke up.
im not trying to act mature, im not trying to be all "im so much better than you people, patoo-ee for being lower than me" im just realizing that life isnt Dennies and Family Guy. I dont know how to explain it. I guess im just tired of it all.
There is one problem i have found; i cant be myself anymore around my friends. I feel like they are so UNIFORM that if i try to be myself, they dont like it because its different than before. Its not how THEY like to be. It isnt how I used to be, and therefore i dont really belong with this crowd.
If things turn out right, I'm going to be gone this summer. All summer. and im a little bit more than happy about it. i feel it will be like getting a breath of air after sinking in a sea of bitterness and waste.
im sorry if you have a problem with any of this. But truthfully, i feel that it will all be alright. I cant spend my entire life hoping every person i meet will understand me or love me as much as i love them. Not everyone you know will be next to you until you die.
So as i set sail toward a different life, a seemingly "less friends" life, i salute those who have journeyed with me thus far.
And with that, i leave Neverland.
wade hewett.
I have found that there are two types of people:
1.) those who dont really grow up and move on, they just ignor people until they feel they are out of their life and then think they are the bigger human.
2.) those who realize that differences between them and others they know cause a distance that cant be overcome by friendship, and just move on with their lives - feeling sadness that they no longer spend time with the person, but no real remorse, since the differences cause more heartache than good anyway.
The second person is a sign of maturity. Like when your parents told you in HS that when you grew up you wouldnt keep in much contact with those from high school. While the first is a sign of an ass-hole. people who dont know how to NOT be self absorbed.
i dont think ive ever really been a #1 type of guy. i dont make it a habbit to just ignor people, and if i have, im really sorry =(
but lately i have realized number two is who i am, and im not all that sad about it. For example: last night i was having a fine time laying in the living room watching tv and talking to my mom as she built a puzzle, a puzzle that the night before (while all my friends were all hanging out) was started by myself, my mother and my father. But last night Faniel and Pat came by, and i decided to go with them - ultimately to Rollie's house.
I should have stayed home. Not only was it time i could have been spending with my mother, but it was so...so...empty. i felt no happiness when i went out. i just went along like a zombie like every other night of this year.
But like i said, its not that i dont LIKE the people, its just ive come to the realization that im just, so, different. What i like, what i enjoy, what i find useful with my time - isnt the same as last year, or even last month for that matter. Its like a switch got turned on in the back of my mind, and i woke up.
im not trying to act mature, im not trying to be all "im so much better than you people, patoo-ee for being lower than me" im just realizing that life isnt Dennies and Family Guy. I dont know how to explain it. I guess im just tired of it all.
There is one problem i have found; i cant be myself anymore around my friends. I feel like they are so UNIFORM that if i try to be myself, they dont like it because its different than before. Its not how THEY like to be. It isnt how I used to be, and therefore i dont really belong with this crowd.
If things turn out right, I'm going to be gone this summer. All summer. and im a little bit more than happy about it. i feel it will be like getting a breath of air after sinking in a sea of bitterness and waste.
im sorry if you have a problem with any of this. But truthfully, i feel that it will all be alright. I cant spend my entire life hoping every person i meet will understand me or love me as much as i love them. Not everyone you know will be next to you until you die.
So as i set sail toward a different life, a seemingly "less friends" life, i salute those who have journeyed with me thus far.
And with that, i leave Neverland.
wade hewett.