If you sent a STD, it means they were A list guests, yes, you need to invite them. I don't think there is an exception for etiquette. The length of time you actually see each guest at a wedding (assuming it's not a small intimate thing, as you invited co-workers at all) is pretty small. I would suck it up for the sake of politeness and the fact that burning bridges is never a good idea, even if you left a job in bad circumstances. Hopefully they will also feel awkward and decline the invite....but you do need to give them that option.
But should the OP be forced to share her day with someone who MAY have been part of the reason she left? For example, a boss who, when the STDs were sent, she may have gotten along with?
Honestly, regardless of STD/Invitation etiquette, unless they are family that you are obligated to invite (Think the great uncle who gets boisterous when drunk), I wouldn't send an invitation to them. It's your day and you should have who YOU want there, not who etiquette dictates.
Thank you (everyone) for your input. I left unexpectedly and only one person contacted me to find out what happened. She's the only one I'm friends with outside of work.
Yes, the others were going to be invited simply because they were coworkers. I'm not sad to be gone and no one seems to care that I'm gone either...and no, this isn't a revenge tactic--I don't care if they want to know what happened or not. I got along with them fine, but they're simply not friends outside of work and two months from now, we won't be thinking about one another at all and like I said, I don't want unnecessary reminders of the job. If any of these four people had expressed excitement about coming to the wedding, it would be another story...but I believe they don't care whether they're invited or not.
The OP asked what etiquette says, I told her the rules as I understand them.
What she actually chooses to do is up to her, obviously.
Incidentally, this is why I think the Save the Date craze is more trouble and expense than it's worth. (With the notable exceptions of destination weddings, or those on holidays which require more advanced planning on the part of the guest.)
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Honestly, regardless of STD/Invitation etiquette, unless they are family that you are obligated to invite (Think the great uncle who gets boisterous when drunk), I wouldn't send an invitation to them. It's your day and you should have who YOU want there, not who etiquette dictates.
Reply
Yes, the others were going to be invited simply because they were coworkers. I'm not sad to be gone and no one seems to care that I'm gone either...and no, this isn't a revenge tactic--I don't care if they want to know what happened or not. I got along with them fine, but they're simply not friends outside of work and two months from now, we won't be thinking about one another at all and like I said, I don't want unnecessary reminders of the job. If any of these four people had expressed excitement about coming to the wedding, it would be another story...but I believe they don't care whether they're invited or not.
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What she actually chooses to do is up to her, obviously.
Incidentally, this is why I think the Save the Date craze is more trouble and expense than it's worth. (With the notable exceptions of destination weddings, or those on holidays which require more advanced planning on the part of the guest.)
Reply
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