Pregnant Bridesmaid

[novas]

So I just found out one of my bridesmaids is pregnant and she isn't sure when here due date is yet but we do know she'll be between 7-9 months at the time of my wedding. I'm not going to ask her to step down but I do admit I am a bit worried. Mainly because I'm going to be having a Vegas wedding, the bridal party is going to be doing a lot of

Comments

[beautifulriot]

she needs to find out when she is due. There is a big difference between 7 months and 9 months as far as ability to fly, do the walking stuff, etc. Depending on when you're getting married, the walking around Vegas thing could be a pain, but still doable. I wouldn't want to be walking around Vegas in the summer for two hours in an organza dress whether I was pregnant or not, but in the cooler season there is no reason it can't be done by someone in their third trimester.

regardless, though, you need to decide what YOU want before you to talk to her. If you would rather her step down because the dresses are THAT important (or for whatever reason), it is possible to ask her to step down nicely. for me, personally I wanted the girls I picked standing with me no matter what they were wearing and really I can't think of many things that would have stopped me from having them up there.

To make the dresses "flow" I think the easiest way to do it is to pick a color (this is especially easy if you're getting dresses from a large chain like David's) and have the girls pick their own dresses in that color scheme. You can give them requirements if you want to narrow it down. For example, my bridesmaids all had very different body types and I didn't want to force them to wear something they wouldn't like so I picked a color from Davids and had them all pick their dresses. But I said I didn't want anyone in anything long and I didn't want any of them in strapless dresses either because my wedding dress was strapless and I wanted to stand out a little (hee hee!). Then to finish it off I bought them all their shoes, which were the same to tie everything together.

HTH!

[novas]

I don't think I could have them in the same shoes mainly because everyone was planning on wearing heels and preferred heels but obviously a 7 month pregnant woman probably wouldn't enjoy that lol. The thing is I tend to worry about making other's happy before myself and deciding what I want so I'm stressing about a million different things. Really annoying habit of mine.

[beautifulriot]

Can I just be honest for a second? I read through the other responses and it sounds like YOU don't want her to be in your wedding anymore. I was picking that up from the original post which is why I said to decide what you want but I guess I should be more blunt.

It sounds like YOU don't want her in the wedding anymore but feel bad about saying it. Like, you don't want her in the wedding because she'll be big and pregnant and distract from the ideal you had for your wedding and won't be able to wear the right dress and won't come to the bachelor party and just all these reasons you have that she won't make for your ideal wedding that you've imagined forever.

I would examine all the reasons you asked her in the first place and try to remember THOSE things. Because honestly, there is no reason a pregnant person can't wear heels, can't stand up in a ceremony, can't walk around outside (this is honestly one of the best ways for a pregnant woman to stay active!) etc. I don't know if your pregnancy was just particularly difficult, but I have been pregnant or barely post-partum for YEARS (oh the joys of having them close together!) and I wouldn't dream of missing out on a wedding that I was asked to be a part of because of it.

It doesn't make you a bad person if you don't want her in the wedding, but do YOURSELF a favor and really be honest with yourself about what YOU want and then make a game plan from there. You don't want to start resenting this girl for something she doesn't even know she's doing.

[novas]

To be quite honest I didn't want more than 2 bridesmaids to begin with. I only wanted 2 of the people that I'm closest to and that is my sister and my cousin. However, my mom from the very beginning of planning had basically said she's not paying for the wedding unless my 2 brothers were in the wedding party and to make things a little more even considering my fiancé really wanted his 2 brothers and his nephews in it, I just asked her. No idea why but I'm one of those people who likes things to be even.

Like I said I'm not going to tell her to drop out of the wedding but at the same time in all honesty yes I'd rather her not be in it. Not because she won't look good in a dress or my dresses won't match but because I'm honestly worried about how she'll be able to handle the day (for some reason I always think of worst case scenario), it's not about how it will look or me being worried about her taking the attention away from me or whatever. Yes it's important to me, but I have been searching around for different options for dresses. Yes I'm worried about how it will look, that doesn't mean I want her out o the wedding.

I hope that made a little sense.