RANT: wedding party frustration
Some background: We're counting our ketubah witnesses (aydim) as part of the wedding party for our early March Jewish wedding. They're going to wear red vests and ties to match our chuppah holders. We had ideas as to whom to ask, but I hadn't confirmed my choice...ie, I was procrastinating asking him. We haven't been as close as we used to be these past few months (both of us are busy with grad school) but he's still one of my favorite people.
So, I asked him last night. And he said he'd think about it. WTF? He expressed a few concerns, namely that his ex (with whom he is still in love) is one of the chuppah holders and that he doesn't like dressing up. I held my tongue, and calmly told him I look forward to hearing from him, nor pressure, etc. But, I'm actually furious.
Am I overreacting here? The Fiancee thinks I should rescind the invitation to be in the wedding party, as does the other friend I talked to about it (I was crying when I met up with her later that night). But I really wanted to have him be a part of such a special day. Should I just wait and hear what he says? What if he says no? Ugh, I sooo don't have the time to worry about that what with all the planning I have to do still.
Any thoughts would be appreciated.
UPDATE: Thanks, folks, for all the responses. I calmed down a bit after venting and realized that my feelings were less about fury and more about being frustrated with things not working out the way I had hoped they would (hence, the crying). I'm still waiting to hear what he says, and I'm still hoping he says yes, but if he doesn't, we'll all move on and be reasonable. Thanks again!
So, I asked him last night. And he said he'd think about it. WTF? He expressed a few concerns, namely that his ex (with whom he is still in love) is one of the chuppah holders and that he doesn't like dressing up. I held my tongue, and calmly told him I look forward to hearing from him, nor pressure, etc. But, I'm actually furious.
Am I overreacting here? The Fiancee thinks I should rescind the invitation to be in the wedding party, as does the other friend I talked to about it (I was crying when I met up with her later that night). But I really wanted to have him be a part of such a special day. Should I just wait and hear what he says? What if he says no? Ugh, I sooo don't have the time to worry about that what with all the planning I have to do still.
Any thoughts would be appreciated.
UPDATE: Thanks, folks, for all the responses. I calmed down a bit after venting and realized that my feelings were less about fury and more about being frustrated with things not working out the way I had hoped they would (hence, the crying). I'm still waiting to hear what he says, and I'm still hoping he says yes, but if he doesn't, we'll all move on and be reasonable. Thanks again!