HELP
Ok ladies, a question.
How many of you had to deal with a best man who you didn’t like? Did things go wrong just as you feared or did everything turn out ok?
The boy and I don’t have a date yet, but we are thinking the spring of ’12 or ’13 so we have some time yet. The best man in question is my FH younger brother… we shall call him “John”. John is the family baby (though not a baby any longer at just shy of 21), the youngest of 5 from a Mormon family who seems to always get his way. John is petulant and disrespectful; I have never met someone who personifies the term ‘tool’ so completely.
John I don’t think has ever done anything for himself in fact when we are over at FH’s family’s house for dinner John whines if he does not get the seat at the table that is his, he will sit and then not get up again demanding that their mother or father bring him drink refills and the like. I have seen John sitting on the couch saying loudly that he wants ice-cream and refusing to get up and walking the 10 steps to the kitchen and getting his own ice-cream (as FH and I tell him too) but will continue to complain until his mother comes in and gets it from him to just make him shut up. (And yes, I know a lot of his condition is only worsen by the constant doting on by his parents but they just can’t tell him ‘no’ it seems.)
To make things worse (for me and FH at least, but the family drama is not why I am posting this time lol) John still plays the part of the perfect Mormon son even though he lies to his family about what he is doing, who he is with and spends most of his time drinking. He is apparently going to go on his mission, but FH and I highly suspect that he tells his parents this to keep them off of his back. Though FH and I hope he does go if only to give him a kick in the pants because John needs a major dose of “grow-the-f-up”.
I could go on for ages but I will stop.
FH picked John as his best man because he is family and FH thinks the best man should be his brother and not his best friend although he knows his brother is a flake (even though him and his brother have never had a close or good relationship). Now I have no problem with John being in the wedding as another groomsmen but I just don’t think he has what it takes to be a Best Man and the responsibilities that go along with that. I also feel the Best man should be the man you are closest too and not just chosen because you share blood.
TL:DR: I think FH’s brother is a tool and not best man material.
I keep trying to tell myself that it is his choice and not mine, and I should support him in his choice… but it is all I can do not to scream “Choose someone else!” how did you deal? Or to I have any grounds to voice my concern?
How many of you had to deal with a best man who you didn’t like? Did things go wrong just as you feared or did everything turn out ok?
The boy and I don’t have a date yet, but we are thinking the spring of ’12 or ’13 so we have some time yet. The best man in question is my FH younger brother… we shall call him “John”. John is the family baby (though not a baby any longer at just shy of 21), the youngest of 5 from a Mormon family who seems to always get his way. John is petulant and disrespectful; I have never met someone who personifies the term ‘tool’ so completely.
John I don’t think has ever done anything for himself in fact when we are over at FH’s family’s house for dinner John whines if he does not get the seat at the table that is his, he will sit and then not get up again demanding that their mother or father bring him drink refills and the like. I have seen John sitting on the couch saying loudly that he wants ice-cream and refusing to get up and walking the 10 steps to the kitchen and getting his own ice-cream (as FH and I tell him too) but will continue to complain until his mother comes in and gets it from him to just make him shut up. (And yes, I know a lot of his condition is only worsen by the constant doting on by his parents but they just can’t tell him ‘no’ it seems.)
To make things worse (for me and FH at least, but the family drama is not why I am posting this time lol) John still plays the part of the perfect Mormon son even though he lies to his family about what he is doing, who he is with and spends most of his time drinking. He is apparently going to go on his mission, but FH and I highly suspect that he tells his parents this to keep them off of his back. Though FH and I hope he does go if only to give him a kick in the pants because John needs a major dose of “grow-the-f-up”.
I could go on for ages but I will stop.
FH picked John as his best man because he is family and FH thinks the best man should be his brother and not his best friend although he knows his brother is a flake (even though him and his brother have never had a close or good relationship). Now I have no problem with John being in the wedding as another groomsmen but I just don’t think he has what it takes to be a Best Man and the responsibilities that go along with that. I also feel the Best man should be the man you are closest too and not just chosen because you share blood.
TL:DR: I think FH’s brother is a tool and not best man material.
I keep trying to tell myself that it is his choice and not mine, and I should support him in his choice… but it is all I can do not to scream “Choose someone else!” how did you deal? Or to I have any grounds to voice my concern?