Guest Question
Hi all! I have a child related guest question/possible dilemma
FH and I planned not have small children at our wedding, with the only people under 18 are my niece who will be 13 and my nephew who is 15. The rest of our friends who have children are children under 5 BUT (and this is our fault) we didn't put anything on the invitation or in the FAQ on our website. In hindsight, we should have but didn't. However, we did address the envelope couple, not family specific. We also have been planning this wedding for over 2 years and made it clear that we didn't want young children to be in attendance.
My sisters hosted my bridal shower today (which was amazing!) and two of FH and our friends, S & K came together. As the party was winding down and people were leaving, K asked me (in front of 7 other guests as we were all talking as a group) if it would be okay to bring her daughter to the ceremony and part of the reception. She also hastily added that she would use discretion and "promise not to ruin your day". Her plan is to have a babysitter at the hotel where they booked a room and then send/take her back to the hotel during the reception. Honestly, I was totally caught off guard and didn't know how to respond-and incredibly uncomfortable in my response as everyone's eyes turned to me for an answer. I told her that I would talk to FH and let her know. She looked a little disappointed, which made me feel incredibly guilty.
Here's the rub: On the way home, I starting thinking and it felt like she was asking us to make an exception-like she knew that her daughter was not invited and that we didn't want small children, but that we should yes (maybe because her husband is returning the favor of being an usher for us?). This is the part of the equation that made FH really upset-he just feels like because K & her husband have been through their own wedding that our wishes should be respected. Don't get us wrong-we love kids and we love her daughter we just decided after much discussion we didn't want small kids at our wedding.
We are less than a month out at this point, and I don't know what to tell her. None of our other friends have asked if their children can come, but if we make an exception I don't want to incite any ill feelings from other guests that they COULD have brought their children...
I am thinking that I should just say yes and let it go...but I don't want to start any guest wank...
Thoughts? Advice? Much appreciated! ♥
FH and I planned not have small children at our wedding, with the only people under 18 are my niece who will be 13 and my nephew who is 15. The rest of our friends who have children are children under 5 BUT (and this is our fault) we didn't put anything on the invitation or in the FAQ on our website. In hindsight, we should have but didn't. However, we did address the envelope couple, not family specific. We also have been planning this wedding for over 2 years and made it clear that we didn't want young children to be in attendance.
My sisters hosted my bridal shower today (which was amazing!) and two of FH and our friends, S & K came together. As the party was winding down and people were leaving, K asked me (in front of 7 other guests as we were all talking as a group) if it would be okay to bring her daughter to the ceremony and part of the reception. She also hastily added that she would use discretion and "promise not to ruin your day". Her plan is to have a babysitter at the hotel where they booked a room and then send/take her back to the hotel during the reception. Honestly, I was totally caught off guard and didn't know how to respond-and incredibly uncomfortable in my response as everyone's eyes turned to me for an answer. I told her that I would talk to FH and let her know. She looked a little disappointed, which made me feel incredibly guilty.
Here's the rub: On the way home, I starting thinking and it felt like she was asking us to make an exception-like she knew that her daughter was not invited and that we didn't want small children, but that we should yes (maybe because her husband is returning the favor of being an usher for us?). This is the part of the equation that made FH really upset-he just feels like because K & her husband have been through their own wedding that our wishes should be respected. Don't get us wrong-we love kids and we love her daughter we just decided after much discussion we didn't want small kids at our wedding.
We are less than a month out at this point, and I don't know what to tell her. None of our other friends have asked if their children can come, but if we make an exception I don't want to incite any ill feelings from other guests that they COULD have brought their children...
I am thinking that I should just say yes and let it go...but I don't want to start any guest wank...
Thoughts? Advice? Much appreciated! ♥