I'm sort of in the same situation as you. FH is in the wedding industry and I am a professional musician and training for clergy so the personal and professional lines between us and a lot of our vendors are pretty blurred.
When I have sung at friends' weddings at no charge, i usually let them know that it is my wedding gift to them.
That being said, it sort of differs from person to person how i am handling it. Both of our officiants are big clergy people who have done a zillion weddings and usually charge between 500-1000 per wedding, but are colleagues of mine so are doing it at no charge. They get spa giftcards. Our flutist for the ceremony is one of my dearest friends who i have known since 7th grade, and I got her a picture frame and put a photo of us in it. Our pianist for the ceremony, who is also playing as people come in and organizing the rehearsals with the flutist and the logistics behind the sound setup for the ceremony, i haven't decided what to get him yet but i'm leaning towards a giftcard to a nice restaurant.
FH's friends who are providing services at discount rates are all still getting cash tips, like normal vendors, because they ARE normal vendors, despite their personal or professional relationships with him.
For you....i don't feel like you necessarily need to get anything for the "just starting out" people because your wedding is giving them the startup experience that they need, which most other people would not give them for their wedding. A restaurant giftcard is a nice gesture, but in this case not necessary since they, too, are benefiting from doing your wedding.
When I have sung at friends' weddings at no charge, i usually let them know that it is my wedding gift to them.
That being said, it sort of differs from person to person how i am handling it. Both of our officiants are big clergy people who have done a zillion weddings and usually charge between 500-1000 per wedding, but are colleagues of mine so are doing it at no charge. They get spa giftcards. Our flutist for the ceremony is one of my dearest friends who i have known since 7th grade, and I got her a picture frame and put a photo of us in it. Our pianist for the ceremony, who is also playing as people come in and organizing the rehearsals with the flutist and the logistics behind the sound setup for the ceremony, i haven't decided what to get him yet but i'm leaning towards a giftcard to a nice restaurant.
FH's friends who are providing services at discount rates are all still getting cash tips, like normal vendors, because they ARE normal vendors, despite their personal or professional relationships with him.
For you....i don't feel like you necessarily need to get anything for the "just starting out" people because your wedding is giving them the startup experience that they need, which most other people would not give them for their wedding. A restaurant giftcard is a nice gesture, but in this case not necessary since they, too, are benefiting from doing your wedding.
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