Wedding Invitees
Hi, all. I'm an American, living and settling in the UK. I have a bit of a conundrum, and I'd appreciate any input, ideas, different ways of looking at it, etc.
For the past year or so, I've been a member of a book club. More off than on, thanks to visa issues keeping me out of the country and other miscellaneous things keeping me from going - plus, it only meets once a month anyways. But they're a great group of gals, and the whole thing encourages me to read novels, which is good for me, so I quite like the whole thing and plan to continue going, of course.
I'm getting married a month from today, and we're just about to send out the British invitations, probably tomorrow. (We sent out Save the Date cards ages ago, when we realized it'd take us a bit to find a reception venue). It's been niggling at the back of my mind for awhile that maybe I should invite the gals from my book club; last night was a meeting, which made me think about it again. They're a great group, and I'd love to have them there. I'd also love to have some of "my people" there, instead of completely made up by my fiancé's friends and family. I'm not so close yet to the members of my book club for me to call them friends, really, so I'm not sure how they'd take it.
In the US, apparently there's a ridiculous widely-held belief that if you get an invitation to a wedding, you're obligated to send a gift. Neither my fiancé nor I expect any gifts whatsoever: going into just about any gift-giving occassion expecting gifts seems a bad idea, in the general case. I've invited people because I'd love to have them come dance at our wedding, and if they can't make it here, I'll re-invite them all to our US reception, where I'd equally love to have them come celebrate with us. Thing is, the rest of the people we've invited, we're close enough to that we can just say that: "We know we're getting married in the middle of a recession, and we don't expect any gifts." I'm not sure if it's appropriate to say anything like that here.
Anyhow, so yes, I don't want them to think I'm just fishing for gifts (as with everyone else, I'd honestly rather their presence than their presents), and I don't know what the attitudes are in this country, or more importantly within my book club, about such things. I also don't want them to feel like I'm shunning them, so I'm not sure at all which way to go. I figured I'd cast the question at a couple of communities here to get their feedback, and then if I still think it's a good idea, float it by the organizer gal, and see.
Any thoughts?
For the past year or so, I've been a member of a book club. More off than on, thanks to visa issues keeping me out of the country and other miscellaneous things keeping me from going - plus, it only meets once a month anyways. But they're a great group of gals, and the whole thing encourages me to read novels, which is good for me, so I quite like the whole thing and plan to continue going, of course.
I'm getting married a month from today, and we're just about to send out the British invitations, probably tomorrow. (We sent out Save the Date cards ages ago, when we realized it'd take us a bit to find a reception venue). It's been niggling at the back of my mind for awhile that maybe I should invite the gals from my book club; last night was a meeting, which made me think about it again. They're a great group, and I'd love to have them there. I'd also love to have some of "my people" there, instead of completely made up by my fiancé's friends and family. I'm not so close yet to the members of my book club for me to call them friends, really, so I'm not sure how they'd take it.
In the US, apparently there's a ridiculous widely-held belief that if you get an invitation to a wedding, you're obligated to send a gift. Neither my fiancé nor I expect any gifts whatsoever: going into just about any gift-giving occassion expecting gifts seems a bad idea, in the general case. I've invited people because I'd love to have them come dance at our wedding, and if they can't make it here, I'll re-invite them all to our US reception, where I'd equally love to have them come celebrate with us. Thing is, the rest of the people we've invited, we're close enough to that we can just say that: "We know we're getting married in the middle of a recession, and we don't expect any gifts." I'm not sure if it's appropriate to say anything like that here.
Anyhow, so yes, I don't want them to think I'm just fishing for gifts (as with everyone else, I'd honestly rather their presence than their presents), and I don't know what the attitudes are in this country, or more importantly within my book club, about such things. I also don't want them to feel like I'm shunning them, so I'm not sure at all which way to go. I figured I'd cast the question at a couple of communities here to get their feedback, and then if I still think it's a good idea, float it by the organizer gal, and see.
Any thoughts?