the life
i can't believe how easy i have it. i love my parents. my mom brings home a new car that hasn't been available to the public yet every 3 months and i drive them. this month my mother brought home a '06 Cadillac STS-V Series with 469 horsepower. how sick is that? i guess i will cruise watching the touch screen DVD and party somewhere this weekend. i will be home and if u want a ride let me know. you might just get a 2 for 1 deal. dealing with that, i don't want to settle down yet but it would be nice to have a change of pace. the no feelings after you are done for one night is great but that isn't how i was. should i even go back? i'm just glad alcohol doesn't affect my decisions haha. i've gone from trying to make something to not giving a fuck and i think that suits me better. is that what my career path is taking me on? i was so humble and wasn't concerned about material things but as i am growing i think thats all i should attempt for until my career is set. i don't visualize people on the same plane as i did. maybe it is that i haven't had to work for anything and probably won't have to if i didn't want to in my life. finally knowing this i think i don't really care for much anymore. i think i have become shallow but thats how i have to be until i am accomplished. still once i have accomplished that i will be ruthless. . .that is what i am going to do and how i have been set up to do. i have been set from the networking i have and all i need to do is follow through and i'll have it even easier. my goal right now is to obtain material things and i am on that path. thats is all i am caring about right now and thats sad but nothing at this moment doesn't matter. i think before i had a false since of hope in relationships. i would try to hard for something that i wanted at the time but ultimately knew that it wouldn't get me where i wanted to go. is that why i have eliminated these things so i can reach my goal? whos goal is to obtain a 500 plus foot boat with a horseshoe pit? thats mine and thats what i intend to do. honestly would i have to attempt to make something happen with someone when i have acquired all these things? i just hope that when i am ready i find someone that actually sees me or that i get tricked so bad that i don't realize it. haha i think how i have it is ludacris and i actually wish it were different so that i have something to strive for. i know all you in the other position think differently and wish they had the opportunities that i have had but i guess until you know what it feels like you have no idea. i've decided that i am going to try. . .i just want to be percieved as a normal person that isn't different from everyone else like when i was told by a friend in 7th grade that "your rich but you don't act like it."