why does it happen this way?
i messed up the first time when i should have listened. i messed up the second time when i should have listened and so on through to many times. why can't i be right for once? well the decisions are on me but the input from everyone is more important now. how can i be so stupid to overlook the one that actually made the connection. my decision making hit the bottom after that. i wish i could go back to the start of my tennis lessons senior year. i know i wouldn't make that mistake again. for everything that has happened since i would trade it in, in a heartbeat. it isn't worth what i could have achieved. yet i believe there is still a hope, even if it may be false. i started giving more chances then i should have because i thought if i did that maybe i would get the second chance that i know want so badly. i wouldn't exactly say those chances hurt me but they weren't nearly thought through enough. senior year was unbelieveable and the summer wasn't what it should have been. it was alright but looking back not the greatest. i had a good time but the void stays with as the good times i had fade. life is full of decisions and i guess i will just have to make better ones in the future. FUCK, chad its on you. you fucked up real bad but success is measured on how well you bounce back after you've hit the bottom. its time to start building and you make the blueprint. time to work twice as hard to get what you wanted. someday somehow. i won't let it slip through my grasp again. the start of my new beginning. . .