(no subject)
I can't sleep again. When will this get easier. Love makes a person so vulnerable. I always heard about people going to bed one night thinking everything was fine and waking up to find that person doesnt love you anymore, I just never thought it would happen with us.
I am never giving someone this much control over my heart again. He is out having a good time because this isnt hard for him. He still is in control because he knows he could come back. I know he cant ignore us forever. You cant just come out of a relationship like this and not deal with it. All these feeling will hit him one night when he gets bored of a life with nothing in it. But I guess none of this really matters to me. My grief is my own and at least it makes me know one person in this relationship was really love.
Every little thing reminds me of our relationship. Every place I went yesterday was a place we had ate at or shopped at and it made me want to crawl back in my bed and not come out. I cant even look back on my trip to new orleans with fondness. People tell me to not regret the last two years of my life, but if I could just take you out of it. I dont have a home to go back to anymore. My mom is taking me back to the doctor pretty soon if I dont start gaining weight. I wish this was all a dream. Instead I think its some fishbowl.
I am never giving someone this much control over my heart again. He is out having a good time because this isnt hard for him. He still is in control because he knows he could come back. I know he cant ignore us forever. You cant just come out of a relationship like this and not deal with it. All these feeling will hit him one night when he gets bored of a life with nothing in it. But I guess none of this really matters to me. My grief is my own and at least it makes me know one person in this relationship was really love.
Every little thing reminds me of our relationship. Every place I went yesterday was a place we had ate at or shopped at and it made me want to crawl back in my bed and not come out. I cant even look back on my trip to new orleans with fondness. People tell me to not regret the last two years of my life, but if I could just take you out of it. I dont have a home to go back to anymore. My mom is taking me back to the doctor pretty soon if I dont start gaining weight. I wish this was all a dream. Instead I think its some fishbowl.