Living Life...one step at a time.
In high school, all I wanted to do was have a jolly old time. I wanted to experience "life to its fullest" with no regulations and restrictions. I skipped classes to go out with my friends, snuck out of the house to raves and parties, and associated myself with "friends" that I knew my parents would never approved. During this time, all I cared about was living my life with my friends by my side.
In college, I struggled to find myself, to discover who I really am and what I really want. My major kept changing every so often. My music taste expanded to include genre that I have never heard of before. My relationship with my family blossomed beautifully. My attitude shifted from wanting to be accepted to wanting to be alone. And in the process of my so-called "self-discovery," I was also desperately (but patiently) searching for a partner that could complement this "new me." And so, the men in my life kept appearing and leaving, like mistakes written on a piece of paper, no longer visible once they are erased, but remnants of them remained, even if just faintly, as a reminder of the mistakes I've made with my heart. College was a period of trials and errors. A place of discovering and re-discovering. It is the time dedicated for my self-growth.
Post college, I have almost everything I had hoped to obtain by the age of 22: A B.A. degree at a creditable University, a supporting family, a group of loyal and trusting friends, a wonderful and loving boyfriend, and a decent paying job to boot. But now I am suffering from what most people would refer to as a "quarter-life crisis." That is, what is it that I really want to do for the rest of my life? Education? Business? Law? Government? Non-profit? I want a career that not only fascinates me, but also challenges and rewards me. Easier said than done. I know what I am capable of, what my potentials are, but I don't know what I am passionate about. And so as I begin writing in this new chapter of my life, I am also trying to uncover the passion that lies deep within me, the passion that I hope will drive me to my ultimate career goal of god-knows-what.
Perhaps I live my life in the wrong orders. Maybe not. All I know now is that no matter how much I am struggling or what I am missing at the moment, I must continue heading forward and living my life the best way I know how. There are many different directions to one destination, but each road has their own bumps and cracks. There is no easy way out.
The path paved might be a difficult one, but I am determined to walk through it all. One step at a time.