Actually I think you should... skip this entire post...
So I am sitting here trying to unwind this fic from itself, and whenever we are sitting anywhere trying to do anything, you know, what we really just end up doing is procrastinating. And there's something shamefully self-indulgent about procrastinating from fic by talking about fic, but-- but, why is there a but, there is no but, I am being shamefully self-indulgent and there is no good excuse for it, is there! And my rambling and hand-waving is nowhere near half as interesting as the things you told me in my last post (made, I think, not long enough ago for me to protest that I'm not spamming you) but, again, there is no but-- shamefully self-indulgent. Leave me be, I cooked today; I washed the dishes; I went to the gym; I have been good!
I think, maybe, I might talk about the two of the most recent fills-- because I have forgotten them the least, probably, and because I can't remember what the third-most recent fill was, haha, and besides, two is already two too many to discuss, really. The most recent fill was You're Waiting for an Orgasm, written for a fuck-or-die prompt. What a good prompt that ended up going to waste! Anyway, the prompt being what it is, it was a good excuse to cycle Arthur like the way I always dream of cycling Arthur, but really I guess this isn't about Arthur at all, is it-- because Arthur is something for the rest of the team to bounce themselves off of, and their fantasies are really about themselves more than what they'd like to do to Arthur in particular, or something like that, haha. Coob Cobb's dream, for example, is focused around how-- peremptory, I suppose, he often is. Ariadne's dream is a lot about her insecurities as the newcomer-- her attention to needless cityscaping detail, her anxieties about not being able to perform (so to speak) on the same level as the rest of the team (the blindfold that prevents him from comparing or judging, her possessiveness); and Yusuf feeling unthanked, on some level, and wanting to be wanted in return, maybe for once not wanting to do all of the work (again, so to speak). I mean, this isn't to say that I think Cobb is always peremptory, or Ariadne always insecure, or Yusuf always disgruntled; this is just one moment out of a whole possibility out of a thousand possibilities!
But that having been said. Eames is the only one whose fantasy really concerns Arthur himself, because what he dreams about is being seen; what he dreams about is -- after a fashion -- "going public with it". Or, at least, what he wants is for everyone to notice that he is the one with Arthur, and what he wants is for Arthur to stop being so concerned about appearances, about his own scruples, and to maybe try letting go and taking a chance, and hopefully for that to work out in the way that Eames wishes it might. The reacharound is, of course, physical, but I suppose it's also there on a psychological level-- he's the one that wants Arthur as Arthur, and as much as the rest of the team loves Arthur and would like to show him a good time, thank you, it's not quite the same thing that Eames wants.
Saito, being Saito, is perceptive enough to realize what this means after coming out of Eames' dream; and no matter what his private inclinations may have been, from that point on, he's acting as the better man and helping Eames ask Arthur for the chance that he wants. Or helping Arthur give Eames the chance that Arthur wants to give Eames. So I guess we don't actually see what his dream might be, but between you and me, I honestly don't think it involves Japanese bondage, you guys. Or tentacles. Not that we don't love shibari and tentacles! But because... I mean, just because he is Japanese... well, actually, he probably knows a ton about shibari, but only because he is Saito and, necessarily, knows everything that there is to know. Not because he is Japanese. Because he is Saito. Because he is the type of man that takes money from young punks by gambling against them in his off hours!
Then there is It's Automatic, which was the second-to-last fill. The title of this story is, of course, from the lyrics to Beautiful Dirty Rich, hello Lady Gaga, but it's also a reference to this Utada Hikaru song:
This song is probably a lot less fun than Lady Gaga, and instead, it's unabashedly emotional, so consummately romantic-- and the sound of it is so ridiculously late-90s electro, it is really incredibly late-90s, hahaha. And the lyrics! "Because that vague attitude is worrying / I'll keep it a better secret, how much I love you"?! This song is so sincere, so unironic, that it's about as far a cry from Beautiful Dirty Rich as you could get.
I think that is what this fic is about. It's about allowing for mutability. It's about how the words It's automatic came to mean something so hard-party fun, when years ago, it was all about feelings and love. It's about how people can't help but be in flux constantly, from year to year, day to day, and even from moment to moment; it's about us unknowingly giving different answers to the same factual question, when asked again later. I think it is about Eames being too grounded in himself to realize that when other people shift, when Arthur shifts, it's completely different from the way that he does it. And so he keeps missing the signals of mutability, because he doesn't think anything can ever change. The entire concept of their con in the beginning of the fic is kind of like what Arthur is doing in real life; building different walls, becoming different, but leaving a space for Eames as he grows older. And Eames doesn't see that until the end, when he learns to allow for mutability. This theme is sort of implicit in the way that the story itself is told, because it moves from fucking in bathtubs full of money to soppy confessions over the phone; the story changes, as do people, as does the sensibility of pop music. (However, this... this just ended up making the fic sort of a... massive bait-and-switch, which I feel awful about and probably should not do ever again, haha... oh, god, I should also never make an entry like this again, I am vomiting so many inconsequential words and stroking my own ego like it hasn't been laid in years... this is so bad, very bad.)
And in a sense, the fic is also about what it means for fic writers to try to grasp characters; and how difficult it is for us to label some portrayal as being in character or out of character, when what we see of these characters in canon is only a very brief slice of an entire hypothetical life. Arthur speaks bluntly, picks at his salad, and wears three-piece suits more often than the average adult male; does the sum total of these attributes indicate that he is a prude in bed or not? I think that maybe, this is something we don't know, something that isn't knowable, and even if we could make a sophisticated argument pinpointing the likelihood of Arthur being a prude (or not being a prude) during the events of the movie, I think that doesn't preclude the mutability he could possibly display before and after the movie; or offscreen, even. So I think this fic is about the impossibility of trying to pin anything down! Or... something like that, haha... and on a much less disgustingly verbose and nonsensical note, Arthur's flight is from Taipei to Vienna, China Airlines, CI 063 on the schedule from mid-June to late October!
Nrnnnngrrngh so that is that... my god, being self-indulgent feels so much more wrong in this fandom, because-- because I am even less qualified to be self-indulgent here. Not a day goes by when I don't read something amazing, something staggering, something so genius -- be it humor or serious or porn -- that I end up devouring it whole, then scrolling back up and rereading it, then gasping for air when I've finished. This is really a remarkable fandom, and I don't even know how I am a part of it. Sometimes I think it hurts almost literally to know that there is so much talent out there-- that there is so much talent here, just in this fandom, oh my god. How is this real!!! ♥ ♥ ♥
Anyway, so-- for something completely different-- I have been unable to focus because I keep thinking of the new prompt post coming up soon, and I keep wondering how great it would be if we prompted ARTHUR/EAMES: IT'S CHRISTMAS, AND EAMES TURNS INTO A HAM. ...And I am not even really in the skating fandom, but... I mean! I think about it and I just keep laughing!
I'm sorry I make so many entries, you guys, not only do I waste your time, I waste it OFTEN. :( But seriously, the bit about the Eames-turns-into-a-ham prompt, that part was worth reading, wasn't it???
I think, maybe, I might talk about the two of the most recent fills-- because I have forgotten them the least, probably, and because I can't remember what the third-most recent fill was, haha, and besides, two is already two too many to discuss, really. The most recent fill was You're Waiting for an Orgasm, written for a fuck-or-die prompt. What a good prompt that ended up going to waste! Anyway, the prompt being what it is, it was a good excuse to cycle Arthur like the way I always dream of cycling Arthur, but really I guess this isn't about Arthur at all, is it-- because Arthur is something for the rest of the team to bounce themselves off of, and their fantasies are really about themselves more than what they'd like to do to Arthur in particular, or something like that, haha. Coob Cobb's dream, for example, is focused around how-- peremptory, I suppose, he often is. Ariadne's dream is a lot about her insecurities as the newcomer-- her attention to needless cityscaping detail, her anxieties about not being able to perform (so to speak) on the same level as the rest of the team (the blindfold that prevents him from comparing or judging, her possessiveness); and Yusuf feeling unthanked, on some level, and wanting to be wanted in return, maybe for once not wanting to do all of the work (again, so to speak). I mean, this isn't to say that I think Cobb is always peremptory, or Ariadne always insecure, or Yusuf always disgruntled; this is just one moment out of a whole possibility out of a thousand possibilities!
But that having been said. Eames is the only one whose fantasy really concerns Arthur himself, because what he dreams about is being seen; what he dreams about is -- after a fashion -- "going public with it". Or, at least, what he wants is for everyone to notice that he is the one with Arthur, and what he wants is for Arthur to stop being so concerned about appearances, about his own scruples, and to maybe try letting go and taking a chance, and hopefully for that to work out in the way that Eames wishes it might. The reacharound is, of course, physical, but I suppose it's also there on a psychological level-- he's the one that wants Arthur as Arthur, and as much as the rest of the team loves Arthur and would like to show him a good time, thank you, it's not quite the same thing that Eames wants.
Saito, being Saito, is perceptive enough to realize what this means after coming out of Eames' dream; and no matter what his private inclinations may have been, from that point on, he's acting as the better man and helping Eames ask Arthur for the chance that he wants. Or helping Arthur give Eames the chance that Arthur wants to give Eames. So I guess we don't actually see what his dream might be, but between you and me, I honestly don't think it involves Japanese bondage, you guys. Or tentacles. Not that we don't love shibari and tentacles! But because... I mean, just because he is Japanese... well, actually, he probably knows a ton about shibari, but only because he is Saito and, necessarily, knows everything that there is to know. Not because he is Japanese. Because he is Saito. Because he is the type of man that takes money from young punks by gambling against them in his off hours!
Then there is It's Automatic, which was the second-to-last fill. The title of this story is, of course, from the lyrics to Beautiful Dirty Rich, hello Lady Gaga, but it's also a reference to this Utada Hikaru song:
Click to viewThis song is probably a lot less fun than Lady Gaga, and instead, it's unabashedly emotional, so consummately romantic-- and the sound of it is so ridiculously late-90s electro, it is really incredibly late-90s, hahaha. And the lyrics! "Because that vague attitude is worrying / I'll keep it a better secret, how much I love you"?! This song is so sincere, so unironic, that it's about as far a cry from Beautiful Dirty Rich as you could get.
I think that is what this fic is about. It's about allowing for mutability. It's about how the words It's automatic came to mean something so hard-party fun, when years ago, it was all about feelings and love. It's about how people can't help but be in flux constantly, from year to year, day to day, and even from moment to moment; it's about us unknowingly giving different answers to the same factual question, when asked again later. I think it is about Eames being too grounded in himself to realize that when other people shift, when Arthur shifts, it's completely different from the way that he does it. And so he keeps missing the signals of mutability, because he doesn't think anything can ever change. The entire concept of their con in the beginning of the fic is kind of like what Arthur is doing in real life; building different walls, becoming different, but leaving a space for Eames as he grows older. And Eames doesn't see that until the end, when he learns to allow for mutability. This theme is sort of implicit in the way that the story itself is told, because it moves from fucking in bathtubs full of money to soppy confessions over the phone; the story changes, as do people, as does the sensibility of pop music. (However, this... this just ended up making the fic sort of a... massive bait-and-switch, which I feel awful about and probably should not do ever again, haha... oh, god, I should also never make an entry like this again, I am vomiting so many inconsequential words and stroking my own ego like it hasn't been laid in years... this is so bad, very bad.)
And in a sense, the fic is also about what it means for fic writers to try to grasp characters; and how difficult it is for us to label some portrayal as being in character or out of character, when what we see of these characters in canon is only a very brief slice of an entire hypothetical life. Arthur speaks bluntly, picks at his salad, and wears three-piece suits more often than the average adult male; does the sum total of these attributes indicate that he is a prude in bed or not? I think that maybe, this is something we don't know, something that isn't knowable, and even if we could make a sophisticated argument pinpointing the likelihood of Arthur being a prude (or not being a prude) during the events of the movie, I think that doesn't preclude the mutability he could possibly display before and after the movie; or offscreen, even. So I think this fic is about the impossibility of trying to pin anything down! Or... something like that, haha... and on a much less disgustingly verbose and nonsensical note, Arthur's flight is from Taipei to Vienna, China Airlines, CI 063 on the schedule from mid-June to late October!
Nrnnnngrrngh so that is that... my god, being self-indulgent feels so much more wrong in this fandom, because-- because I am even less qualified to be self-indulgent here. Not a day goes by when I don't read something amazing, something staggering, something so genius -- be it humor or serious or porn -- that I end up devouring it whole, then scrolling back up and rereading it, then gasping for air when I've finished. This is really a remarkable fandom, and I don't even know how I am a part of it. Sometimes I think it hurts almost literally to know that there is so much talent out there-- that there is so much talent here, just in this fandom, oh my god. How is this real!!! ♥ ♥ ♥
Anyway, so-- for something completely different-- I have been unable to focus because I keep thinking of the new prompt post coming up soon, and I keep wondering how great it would be if we prompted ARTHUR/EAMES: IT'S CHRISTMAS, AND EAMES TURNS INTO A HAM. ...And I am not even really in the skating fandom, but... I mean! I think about it and I just keep laughing!
I'm sorry I make so many entries, you guys, not only do I waste your time, I waste it OFTEN. :( But seriously, the bit about the Eames-turns-into-a-ham prompt, that part was worth reading, wasn't it???