MANHUNT 2005
The job hunt continues, while I remain trapped here in Virginia. Left alone to my thoughts, I've been making lots of Dyson's Creek stuff, borrowing CD's from the library, and procrastinating filling out more applications. Pros of living in such a huge area: lots of places to apply to. Cons: watching my application getting tossed onto a sad stack of other applications.
There is one advantage of living here, which is that there are hot boys absolutely everywhere. While I'm not the kind to go around getting my man-whore on, there are certainly enough of them that I can be pretty flirty and still reap in a pretty good bounty. Here are the results:
Enrique the Tow-truck Driver
Pros: Tow truck drivers are the modern day knights in shining armor. As far as blue collar jobs go it is not as great of a job as say, construction worker, it is at least still a step up from plumber or garbage man.
Cons: In South Carolina, technically doesn't count
Bad back from stepping up three feet just to enter his truck
Country Music
Probably easily outwitted by children and dolphins
Consensus: I'd let him drag me around, but only until a better ride comes along.
Bonny Jack the Pirate
Pros: Pirate! So very hot.
Probably works at starbucks (Starbuccaneer?)
His hair is pretty cute
Uh, pirate shirt! Come on!
Cons: I can't tell if he's smiling or if he just swallowed some botox or what.
Crooked picture on the wall (sorry that bothers me)
Not actually Virginian, just some dude from a porn site.
Consensus: Free coffee and plenty of booty jokes? Two thumbs way up.
Frat Boy Mike
+100 points for being a fratboy.
-50 points for interviewing porn stars on "biggayapple.tv"
+100 points for interviewing porn stars on "biggayapple.tv"
+80 points for "breaking into" porn distributer to steal porn videos (as seen in picture)
-150 points for being a big man whore and writing about it in his internet blog
-200 points for reminding me of my crippling addiction to porn
Consensus: There are probably better things I could be doing with my time on the internet.
Fine-Ass Manager of the American Eagle
Pros: No one can pull off a ringer tee and machine knit scarf just like he can
Two words: Customer satisfaction.
Can I say "nice package?" Yeah, I'll say it.
Enjoyable chatting as he took my job application
Cons: Told me he'd call back the next day about my application- Still has not called yet!
American Eagle is like Hollister and Abercrombie had a bastard child and didn't know what to do with it
Consensus: Possibly as interesting as wonderbread, but still worth the chance.
Joe Phillips Cartoon Illustration
Pros: big contracts with beer and underwear advertisements.
Uh, well rendered.
I don't know why I'm still writing this.
Cons: Just some lousy illustration
Really creepy thin torso
Photoshopped to death
Consensus: Why did I burn this on a CD when I was 16. Wait, answered my own question.
GENERAL CONSENSUS: What the hell I have too much freetime. I need a job. Also, keep checking the Dyson's Creek page I'm going to try and pump out a comic every other day.
There is one advantage of living here, which is that there are hot boys absolutely everywhere. While I'm not the kind to go around getting my man-whore on, there are certainly enough of them that I can be pretty flirty and still reap in a pretty good bounty. Here are the results:
Enrique the Tow-truck Driver
Pros: Tow truck drivers are the modern day knights in shining armor. As far as blue collar jobs go it is not as great of a job as say, construction worker, it is at least still a step up from plumber or garbage man.
Cons: In South Carolina, technically doesn't count
Bad back from stepping up three feet just to enter his truck
Country Music
Probably easily outwitted by children and dolphins
Consensus: I'd let him drag me around, but only until a better ride comes along.
Bonny Jack the Pirate
Pros: Pirate! So very hot.
Probably works at starbucks (Starbuccaneer?)
His hair is pretty cute
Uh, pirate shirt! Come on!
Cons: I can't tell if he's smiling or if he just swallowed some botox or what.
Crooked picture on the wall (sorry that bothers me)
Not actually Virginian, just some dude from a porn site.
Consensus: Free coffee and plenty of booty jokes? Two thumbs way up.
Frat Boy Mike
+100 points for being a fratboy.
-50 points for interviewing porn stars on "biggayapple.tv"
+100 points for interviewing porn stars on "biggayapple.tv"
+80 points for "breaking into" porn distributer to steal porn videos (as seen in picture)
-150 points for being a big man whore and writing about it in his internet blog
-200 points for reminding me of my crippling addiction to porn
Consensus: There are probably better things I could be doing with my time on the internet.
Fine-Ass Manager of the American Eagle
Pros: No one can pull off a ringer tee and machine knit scarf just like he can
Two words: Customer satisfaction.
Can I say "nice package?" Yeah, I'll say it.
Enjoyable chatting as he took my job application
Cons: Told me he'd call back the next day about my application- Still has not called yet!
American Eagle is like Hollister and Abercrombie had a bastard child and didn't know what to do with it
Consensus: Possibly as interesting as wonderbread, but still worth the chance.
Joe Phillips Cartoon Illustration
Pros: big contracts with beer and underwear advertisements.
Uh, well rendered.
I don't know why I'm still writing this.
Cons: Just some lousy illustration
Really creepy thin torso
Photoshopped to death
Consensus: Why did I burn this on a CD when I was 16. Wait, answered my own question.
GENERAL CONSENSUS: What the hell I have too much freetime. I need a job. Also, keep checking the Dyson's Creek page I'm going to try and pump out a comic every other day.