I'm not sick but I'm not well, and I'm so hot 'cause I'm in hell.
I'm home.
For serious.
I have to go back every day for radiation in my right shoulder for a while and some outpatient PT, but I get to come back home every day.
I lied before. I'm not completely okay. The plan was for me to straight cath every 3-6 hours. And I would start leaking before 2 hours was up. I'm keeping a catheter in for now, emptying into a bag tied to my leg, but I leak a bit around that, too. I had a urology appointment to talk about future surgery options and it isn't looking as good as some people made it sound beforehand. Surgeries would require poking into my right side, and even with scans done beforehand, there's no way for the doctor to know for sure that he wouldn't be cutting right into bowel. I could get botox injections every 6 months, but they're expensive and insurances do anything they can to not pay for it. So that might as well be completely out. Pretty much the only option, and this is several months down the road once I'm completely recovered from this last surgery, is to reroute stuff with the colostomy, have urine come out of it, make another colostomy on the other side of my stomach.
So. There's an option. There's an option where I won't have to worry about leaking at all ever again. But I really, really desperately did not want another bag attached to me. And until 6 months is up, I'm stuck with a catheter, a bag, and a diaper. Because it's not enough being disabled or wearing my shit around my waist.
For serious.
I have to go back every day for radiation in my right shoulder for a while and some outpatient PT, but I get to come back home every day.
I lied before. I'm not completely okay. The plan was for me to straight cath every 3-6 hours. And I would start leaking before 2 hours was up. I'm keeping a catheter in for now, emptying into a bag tied to my leg, but I leak a bit around that, too. I had a urology appointment to talk about future surgery options and it isn't looking as good as some people made it sound beforehand. Surgeries would require poking into my right side, and even with scans done beforehand, there's no way for the doctor to know for sure that he wouldn't be cutting right into bowel. I could get botox injections every 6 months, but they're expensive and insurances do anything they can to not pay for it. So that might as well be completely out. Pretty much the only option, and this is several months down the road once I'm completely recovered from this last surgery, is to reroute stuff with the colostomy, have urine come out of it, make another colostomy on the other side of my stomach.
So. There's an option. There's an option where I won't have to worry about leaking at all ever again. But I really, really desperately did not want another bag attached to me. And until 6 months is up, I'm stuck with a catheter, a bag, and a diaper. Because it's not enough being disabled or wearing my shit around my waist.