A few of my favorite things
This week I have been musing on things like manners, and why people with no concept of manners have no idea that they are boors. Selfish people don't know they're being selfish; they're oblivious to their own impositions on other people.
Somewhere in the back of my mind I recalled reading an article about a study that explored the gap between competence and confidence. I Googled it, and here it is:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2000/01/18/MN73840.DTL
Then a friend told me about a teacher in New York who emphasised manners in his teaching, with the result that his students scored significantly higher and were more likely to go on to college.
Maybe a movement that emphasises teaching children decent manners and attention to subtle feedback cues will help counteract the spoiled-children-of-older-parents demographic, aka "Indigo children". Never heard of indigo children? Oh, are you ever in for a treat:
* They come into the world with a feeling of royalty (and often act like it)
* They have a feeling of "deserving to be here," and are surprised when others don't share that.
* Self-worth is not a big issue. They often tell the parents "who they are."
* They have difficulty with absolute authority (authority without explanation or choice).
* They simply will not do certain things; for example, waiting in line is difficult for them.
* They get frustrated with systems that are ritually oriented and don't require creative thought.
* They often see better ways of doing things, both at home and in school, which makes them seem like "system busters" (nonconforming to any system).
* They seem antisocial unless they are with their own kind. If there are no others of like consciousness around them, they often turn inward, feeling like no other human understands them. School is often extremely difficult for them socially.
* They will not respond to "guilt" discipline ("Wait till your father gets home and finds out what you did").
* They are not shy in letting you know what they need.
(Excerpted from http://www.indigochild.com)
My personal opinion is that this is a laundry list of the behavior of a spoiled brat. I've met some of the parents of "Indigo children" and they are exactly the type of inept, suffocatingly doting parent you probably imagine them to be, and usually have so little experience with children that *everything* their kid does seems extraordinary. These are the kinds of moms who you see in stores saying to their 2-year-old, "Little Tyler, sweetie, is it OK if we put the toy away and go now? Tyler honey, is it OK if Mommy needs to go? Can we go? Sweetie, can you climb down from that ladder honey? Is that OK?"
Also, did you know that Jenny McCarthy is a New Age headcase? Neither did I, until I was entertaining myself reading Indigo Child websites and encountered hers, which has the BEST stories (click on the names on the right hand side): http://www.indigomoms.com/
My favorites are the stories of Shelley and her son Pieter. Highlights from Shelley:
"Right away I called him King Pieter" (uh-oh)
"By the age of four, I began taking him to see therapists" (Probably a good idea, if you start out life calling him "King Pieter")
"He would be happy and outgoing one minute, then sulk in the corner another. The therapists said this was because of the divorce between me and his father. But I never thought that was the whole picture." (Come on, what do therapists know?)
"Actually, he looked like and behaved just like Dennis the Menace." (This is the sign of a special child that is supposed to lead us into the future?)
"I didn't know of any children personally that listened to Smooth Jazz on the radio to help them sleep at night" (I had no idea that liking Smooth Jazz was a sign of being spiritually advanced!)
We're in luck! Pieter also tells his story:
"She always explained to me that it is a good thing to be different from everyone else, and that I break the mold" (I wonder if she bothered telling him that everyone is different from everyoe else?)
"I only know one or two people my age that are spiritually ahead of me" (Good, he's already insufferably superior)
"My mom and I will always have a strong bond that can never be broken" (Danger, Will Robinson!)
I have ADHD and I also have three lovely, active children, one of whom could quite reasonably be termed "Spirited" (which is what they are calling difficult children these days). A couple of my friends have kids with Aspergers. Somehow I don't think that spoiling the crap out of them and convincing them that they're special and chosen for a higher purpose is going to help them out in life.
Maybe we can have a race and see whose kids win; the ones with the outragous sense of entitlement fostered by their yuppie New-Age parents, or the ones raised by parents with patient discipline and realistic coping skills. The standard by which they will be judged will be "are they socially intolerable losers, or not?"
Somehow, I don't foresee King Pieter having a lot of luck holding a job.
Somewhere in the back of my mind I recalled reading an article about a study that explored the gap between competence and confidence. I Googled it, and here it is:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2000/01/18/MN73840.DTL
Then a friend told me about a teacher in New York who emphasised manners in his teaching, with the result that his students scored significantly higher and were more likely to go on to college.
Maybe a movement that emphasises teaching children decent manners and attention to subtle feedback cues will help counteract the spoiled-children-of-older-parents demographic, aka "Indigo children". Never heard of indigo children? Oh, are you ever in for a treat:
* They come into the world with a feeling of royalty (and often act like it)
* They have a feeling of "deserving to be here," and are surprised when others don't share that.
* Self-worth is not a big issue. They often tell the parents "who they are."
* They have difficulty with absolute authority (authority without explanation or choice).
* They simply will not do certain things; for example, waiting in line is difficult for them.
* They get frustrated with systems that are ritually oriented and don't require creative thought.
* They often see better ways of doing things, both at home and in school, which makes them seem like "system busters" (nonconforming to any system).
* They seem antisocial unless they are with their own kind. If there are no others of like consciousness around them, they often turn inward, feeling like no other human understands them. School is often extremely difficult for them socially.
* They will not respond to "guilt" discipline ("Wait till your father gets home and finds out what you did").
* They are not shy in letting you know what they need.
(Excerpted from http://www.indigochild.com)
My personal opinion is that this is a laundry list of the behavior of a spoiled brat. I've met some of the parents of "Indigo children" and they are exactly the type of inept, suffocatingly doting parent you probably imagine them to be, and usually have so little experience with children that *everything* their kid does seems extraordinary. These are the kinds of moms who you see in stores saying to their 2-year-old, "Little Tyler, sweetie, is it OK if we put the toy away and go now? Tyler honey, is it OK if Mommy needs to go? Can we go? Sweetie, can you climb down from that ladder honey? Is that OK?"
Also, did you know that Jenny McCarthy is a New Age headcase? Neither did I, until I was entertaining myself reading Indigo Child websites and encountered hers, which has the BEST stories (click on the names on the right hand side): http://www.indigomoms.com/
My favorites are the stories of Shelley and her son Pieter. Highlights from Shelley:
"Right away I called him King Pieter" (uh-oh)
"By the age of four, I began taking him to see therapists" (Probably a good idea, if you start out life calling him "King Pieter")
"He would be happy and outgoing one minute, then sulk in the corner another. The therapists said this was because of the divorce between me and his father. But I never thought that was the whole picture." (Come on, what do therapists know?)
"Actually, he looked like and behaved just like Dennis the Menace." (This is the sign of a special child that is supposed to lead us into the future?)
"I didn't know of any children personally that listened to Smooth Jazz on the radio to help them sleep at night" (I had no idea that liking Smooth Jazz was a sign of being spiritually advanced!)
We're in luck! Pieter also tells his story:
"She always explained to me that it is a good thing to be different from everyone else, and that I break the mold" (I wonder if she bothered telling him that everyone is different from everyoe else?)
"I only know one or two people my age that are spiritually ahead of me" (Good, he's already insufferably superior)
"My mom and I will always have a strong bond that can never be broken" (Danger, Will Robinson!)
I have ADHD and I also have three lovely, active children, one of whom could quite reasonably be termed "Spirited" (which is what they are calling difficult children these days). A couple of my friends have kids with Aspergers. Somehow I don't think that spoiling the crap out of them and convincing them that they're special and chosen for a higher purpose is going to help them out in life.
Maybe we can have a race and see whose kids win; the ones with the outragous sense of entitlement fostered by their yuppie New-Age parents, or the ones raised by parents with patient discipline and realistic coping skills. The standard by which they will be judged will be "are they socially intolerable losers, or not?"
Somehow, I don't foresee King Pieter having a lot of luck holding a job.