School, work, anger.
That seems to be the basis of my life.
College is awesome of course, I'm so happy that in I'm school again.
For those of you who don't know, I'm part of the Fashion Design Program at UCFV full time.
I only work one day a week which sucks since I hate being broke in the worst way, but it's good cuz it give me more time to do the large amounts of homework looming in the not so distant future. On Thursdays I have one very long class, and then I have to fuck around for 3-4 hours at work before I start at 5. Then I work till 10pm.
As you can imagine, this sucks the perverbial wang, and I don't think I can keep it up. The day is too long and the amount of coffee is too much. I want to see if I can switch to sunday night, but sundays are so busy, I'm not sure if the crappiness would be any less.
As far as the anger goes, I'm angry with myself. I believe that you don't need a significant other to be happy. I see the reliance on another person for your own happiness to be completely weak and pathetic, wether it's aboyfriend or a family member.
And yet I can't shake my constant loneliness even though I'm always surrounded by people at work, at school, and at home. That makes me angry. Who knows, maybe it's because I never see my very few friends, and no matter how many people are around I feel like an outsider. I HATE when people ask me why I don't have a boyfriend. Like it's any of their fucking business anyways.
I guess all the crap I give myself about "what I stand for" is just that: Crap. I mean, I havn't even applied for my student loan because my Mom hasn't taken the time to help me. How's that for self reliance?
Fuck.
College is awesome of course, I'm so happy that in I'm school again.
For those of you who don't know, I'm part of the Fashion Design Program at UCFV full time.
I only work one day a week which sucks since I hate being broke in the worst way, but it's good cuz it give me more time to do the large amounts of homework looming in the not so distant future. On Thursdays I have one very long class, and then I have to fuck around for 3-4 hours at work before I start at 5. Then I work till 10pm.
As you can imagine, this sucks the perverbial wang, and I don't think I can keep it up. The day is too long and the amount of coffee is too much. I want to see if I can switch to sunday night, but sundays are so busy, I'm not sure if the crappiness would be any less.
As far as the anger goes, I'm angry with myself. I believe that you don't need a significant other to be happy. I see the reliance on another person for your own happiness to be completely weak and pathetic, wether it's aboyfriend or a family member.
And yet I can't shake my constant loneliness even though I'm always surrounded by people at work, at school, and at home. That makes me angry. Who knows, maybe it's because I never see my very few friends, and no matter how many people are around I feel like an outsider. I HATE when people ask me why I don't have a boyfriend. Like it's any of their fucking business anyways.
I guess all the crap I give myself about "what I stand for" is just that: Crap. I mean, I havn't even applied for my student loan because my Mom hasn't taken the time to help me. How's that for self reliance?
Fuck.