Love is a battle and we both end up with scars.
I am a Food Network junkie. I love so many shows on Food Network, it's almost embarrassing. The other day my sister was like "You watch Food Network all the time, but you don't cook." And of course, I was all aghast, but really, I don't cook like I used to. I would make fancy stuff back in the day. Back when I lived in my parents' house and could afford fancy ingredients, lol. I'm pretty sure that tater tot casserole and Aunt Becky's chicken casserole don't count as fancy but they get the job done. Someday I'll be able to afford fancy things but until then WHATEVZ.
Speaking of money. It sucks. I make some good ol' dough at my job but it lasts for a day. I miss having multiple savings accounts. It really stresses me out. My car needs an oil change and brake pads. You can hear me braking from across town. I am THAT person now. The one that pulls in the parking lot and makes people's ears bleed. I have Deaconess Hospital calling every day because I owe them money. I owe Ivy Tech money. I have to start paying student loan #2 this month. AND Christmas is coming. Joy to the world, we are all broke. My mom offered to pay Deaconess off for me because she has guilt from paying all of my sister's bills and doing nothing for me but I told her no. I would feel guilty. Sometimes I wish I would have taken my mom up on living in the smaller house. It would be so much cheaper. BUT I LOVE MY HOUSE. UGH. I need to start being an extreme couponer again. But it takes up so much time. Avon takes up so much time. But I am making money though. I don't know. I could be in worse shape. I need to STFU.
"I need to see all the Harry Potters." - Me.
"You really do. They are delicious." - Brittany Delmar.
I picked Nora up from her Mimaw's house this morning. Chris was there. It sucked. Awkward questions. Awkward trying to touch me moments. And you would think if I was trying to avoid touching him, he'd take the hint and NEVER try to kiss me. You would think that... but you'd be wrong. The "I miss you, what have you been doing, are you seeing anyone, can we hang out" conversations yet again. I would like to pick Nora up without awkwardness at some point. Just walk in and she'd be ready to go. But no. I have to hear all about how miserable he is. He could be doing anything with his life. It is not my fault that he chooses to be high and unemployed. I need to keep telling my self this. It's hard to turn that "I have to take care of you" part of my brain off. That is where I go wrong with every relationship. (all 2 of them) I do waaaaay too much. And get nothing in return. I deserve better. My brain doesn't think so, but I DO!
Evening shift sucks. I hate it. If it was just me, I LOVE evening shift. I can't work evening shift with a 3 year old but my employer doesn't care about that. Therefore, I am stuck working crazy evening shift every now and then. My residents are different people in the evening. They get sundowner's and start acting like fools. Day shift is so smooth and goes by SO FAST. Oh well. Someday, SOMEDAY, my friend, I will be a full time day shift nurse. Even if I have to be mean to get that position. YEAH.
Speaking of money. It sucks. I make some good ol' dough at my job but it lasts for a day. I miss having multiple savings accounts. It really stresses me out. My car needs an oil change and brake pads. You can hear me braking from across town. I am THAT person now. The one that pulls in the parking lot and makes people's ears bleed. I have Deaconess Hospital calling every day because I owe them money. I owe Ivy Tech money. I have to start paying student loan #2 this month. AND Christmas is coming. Joy to the world, we are all broke. My mom offered to pay Deaconess off for me because she has guilt from paying all of my sister's bills and doing nothing for me but I told her no. I would feel guilty. Sometimes I wish I would have taken my mom up on living in the smaller house. It would be so much cheaper. BUT I LOVE MY HOUSE. UGH. I need to start being an extreme couponer again. But it takes up so much time. Avon takes up so much time. But I am making money though. I don't know. I could be in worse shape. I need to STFU.
"I need to see all the Harry Potters." - Me.
"You really do. They are delicious." - Brittany Delmar.
I picked Nora up from her Mimaw's house this morning. Chris was there. It sucked. Awkward questions. Awkward trying to touch me moments. And you would think if I was trying to avoid touching him, he'd take the hint and NEVER try to kiss me. You would think that... but you'd be wrong. The "I miss you, what have you been doing, are you seeing anyone, can we hang out" conversations yet again. I would like to pick Nora up without awkwardness at some point. Just walk in and she'd be ready to go. But no. I have to hear all about how miserable he is. He could be doing anything with his life. It is not my fault that he chooses to be high and unemployed. I need to keep telling my self this. It's hard to turn that "I have to take care of you" part of my brain off. That is where I go wrong with every relationship. (all 2 of them) I do waaaaay too much. And get nothing in return. I deserve better. My brain doesn't think so, but I DO!
Evening shift sucks. I hate it. If it was just me, I LOVE evening shift. I can't work evening shift with a 3 year old but my employer doesn't care about that. Therefore, I am stuck working crazy evening shift every now and then. My residents are different people in the evening. They get sundowner's and start acting like fools. Day shift is so smooth and goes by SO FAST. Oh well. Someday, SOMEDAY, my friend, I will be a full time day shift nurse. Even if I have to be mean to get that position. YEAH.