Monologue vs Dialogue
I'd like to say "I'm only going to say this once," but I'm sure it's going to come up over and over again throughout the years. However: I only want to say this once.
If you have a problem with me personally, a problem with something I'm doing, with some way that I treated you, or your friend, or your cat, or a parked car, or whatever you got, then bring that problem directly to me. Talk to me about it. Give me your side, your reasons, etc. I will give you my side, my reasons, etc. Talk to me. Communicate clearly and in a rational adult way and I will do my absolute best to return that courtesy and respect to you a thousand times over. I'm an enormous believer in communication and language. I honestly think that most problems between friends, co-workers, acquaintances, etc. can be talked out, if both parties are willing to talk. When two people talk and both people listen, it's a dialogue.
If you come to me and say "I have a problem, here it is, I refuse to discuss it or your side" then that's a monologue. I don't do monologue because it communicates to me that you don't really care about my opinion\feelings\thoughts and you don't want to solve the problem, you just want to give me an ultimatum. I'm not in the ultimatum business, because it doesn't really solve anything - if two people are upset, and only one of them is willing to communicate, then they're both going to continue being upset.
Also, honestly, saying "I have a problem with how you treat XYZ person," while a valid statement and position, doesn't really help anything, because it seems to assume that I'm guilty and XYZ is totally innocent. Obviously, there are exceptions to this, but in general, if XYZ and I have a problem, then it needs to be sorted out between XYZ and myself, not between the two of us and everyone we know. My mother has a great, frustrating saying: "There are six sides to every story." If you don't have my side and you're not interested in getting it... well, I don't think I need to finish that sentence.
There, I'm done. For the truly ADD: Dialogue, yes. Monologue, no. Problem with me? Bring it to me. Problem with how I talk to XYZ person? Then have XYZ bring the problem to me so I can talk it over with them.
And I'm done. Back to not posting for another 3 years.
If you have a problem with me personally, a problem with something I'm doing, with some way that I treated you, or your friend, or your cat, or a parked car, or whatever you got, then bring that problem directly to me. Talk to me about it. Give me your side, your reasons, etc. I will give you my side, my reasons, etc. Talk to me. Communicate clearly and in a rational adult way and I will do my absolute best to return that courtesy and respect to you a thousand times over. I'm an enormous believer in communication and language. I honestly think that most problems between friends, co-workers, acquaintances, etc. can be talked out, if both parties are willing to talk. When two people talk and both people listen, it's a dialogue.
If you come to me and say "I have a problem, here it is, I refuse to discuss it or your side" then that's a monologue. I don't do monologue because it communicates to me that you don't really care about my opinion\feelings\thoughts and you don't want to solve the problem, you just want to give me an ultimatum. I'm not in the ultimatum business, because it doesn't really solve anything - if two people are upset, and only one of them is willing to communicate, then they're both going to continue being upset.
Also, honestly, saying "I have a problem with how you treat XYZ person," while a valid statement and position, doesn't really help anything, because it seems to assume that I'm guilty and XYZ is totally innocent. Obviously, there are exceptions to this, but in general, if XYZ and I have a problem, then it needs to be sorted out between XYZ and myself, not between the two of us and everyone we know. My mother has a great, frustrating saying: "There are six sides to every story." If you don't have my side and you're not interested in getting it... well, I don't think I need to finish that sentence.
There, I'm done. For the truly ADD: Dialogue, yes. Monologue, no. Problem with me? Bring it to me. Problem with how I talk to XYZ person? Then have XYZ bring the problem to me so I can talk it over with them.
And I'm done. Back to not posting for another 3 years.