i am not the bear in this story
bear: i'm going to start being nicer. i'm going to start now. henceforth: nicer.
bunny: why? you are plenty nice it is one of the things you are famous about.
bear: no. i am not nice.
bunny: you aren't still fretting about that advice column are you?
bear: of course i am! what was the point of being so thoughtlessly mean? i could have been so easily not been!
bunny: ok. let's talk about this. so you were asked to answer pretty much one question in an advice column. the question was sincere, yr answer was flippant and rude. ever since it was published you have been feeling remorseful.
bear: yes.
bunny: but it was such a small unkindness. you probably say meaner things all the time. you-
bear: no.
bunny: my theory is that because this was published and people read it, lots of people, you feel worse than if you had been mean to someone in person. people knowing about yr rudeness challenges yr firmly held belief in yrself as a nice person. like, you are just as bad as the rest of us, but if it is a secret, it's ok? right?
bear: oh god probably. what is wrong with me? i am such a bad person! but don't you also think the lady who's question i answered so meanly feels worse than if i had schooled her in person because it was a public humiliation?
bunny: she at least was anonymous. i mean really. probably someone just made that question up.
bear: do you really think so? i'm going to think that from now on. it will make me feel much better.
bunny: why? you are plenty nice it is one of the things you are famous about.
bear: no. i am not nice.
bunny: you aren't still fretting about that advice column are you?
bear: of course i am! what was the point of being so thoughtlessly mean? i could have been so easily not been!
bunny: ok. let's talk about this. so you were asked to answer pretty much one question in an advice column. the question was sincere, yr answer was flippant and rude. ever since it was published you have been feeling remorseful.
bear: yes.
bunny: but it was such a small unkindness. you probably say meaner things all the time. you-
bear: no.
bunny: my theory is that because this was published and people read it, lots of people, you feel worse than if you had been mean to someone in person. people knowing about yr rudeness challenges yr firmly held belief in yrself as a nice person. like, you are just as bad as the rest of us, but if it is a secret, it's ok? right?
bear: oh god probably. what is wrong with me? i am such a bad person! but don't you also think the lady who's question i answered so meanly feels worse than if i had schooled her in person because it was a public humiliation?
bunny: she at least was anonymous. i mean really. probably someone just made that question up.
bear: do you really think so? i'm going to think that from now on. it will make me feel much better.