(no subject)
where do i begin?
i'm not ready to face the world. i'm not ready to grow up and move on. i'm not ready for anything "real" to happen. the world has changed so much since our parents were our age. our mothers were trained to be secretaries, we're being trained to think out side of the box, to be free, to think for ourselves. soon we won't be trapped in this isolated town, soon we'll be able to spread our wings, soon we'll be able to take our very first steps out into the world, alone.
alone. terrified. nothing is going to make this whole situation seem any easier. life isn't easy. duh, i'm 17 and i "don't know what i'm talking about". the truth is i do. i know what it's going to be like. i'm not going to sugarcoat anything. i'm not going to pretend it's going to be wonderful and joyus as soon as i move out. i still have to find myself. i still have to ground myself. i still have to become the person i've been striving to be, for years. i need to see myself in a new light. i need to believe in myself a little lot more.
at least i'm; alive. and. well.
to her; thank you for being the best person in the world. for being my soul. for being my air. for helping me stand. thanks for making me laugh and for comforting me when i cry and for listening to me ramble on and on and on about nothing (like this) for hours. thanks. (the truth is i couldn't thank you enough, not enough hours in the day, but i can try) see you soon, darlin!
to him; i'm sorry i allowed myself to get so caught up. to get too attatched to easily. i knew the outcome. i knew the truth. i was blind. stupid. lost. i needed you to accept me. to care about me. to laugh with me, not at me. whether you know it or not, you helped me. you helped me out of my "box" you helped me to be myself. thank you.
p.s. there is much more where that came from.
i'm not ready to face the world. i'm not ready to grow up and move on. i'm not ready for anything "real" to happen. the world has changed so much since our parents were our age. our mothers were trained to be secretaries, we're being trained to think out side of the box, to be free, to think for ourselves. soon we won't be trapped in this isolated town, soon we'll be able to spread our wings, soon we'll be able to take our very first steps out into the world, alone.
alone. terrified. nothing is going to make this whole situation seem any easier. life isn't easy. duh, i'm 17 and i "don't know what i'm talking about". the truth is i do. i know what it's going to be like. i'm not going to sugarcoat anything. i'm not going to pretend it's going to be wonderful and joyus as soon as i move out. i still have to find myself. i still have to ground myself. i still have to become the person i've been striving to be, for years. i need to see myself in a new light. i need to believe in myself a little lot more.
at least i'm; alive. and. well.
to her; thank you for being the best person in the world. for being my soul. for being my air. for helping me stand. thanks for making me laugh and for comforting me when i cry and for listening to me ramble on and on and on about nothing (like this) for hours. thanks. (the truth is i couldn't thank you enough, not enough hours in the day, but i can try) see you soon, darlin!
to him; i'm sorry i allowed myself to get so caught up. to get too attatched to easily. i knew the outcome. i knew the truth. i was blind. stupid. lost. i needed you to accept me. to care about me. to laugh with me, not at me. whether you know it or not, you helped me. you helped me out of my "box" you helped me to be myself. thank you.
p.s. there is much more where that came from.