i dont know
Well, here I am in January, five weeks from spitting out a baby. All my friends, or past friends anyway, are starting classes this week and for some reason that makes me feel really out of whack. I was just talking to Lisa and it's like I don't even know her or anyone like her anymore. My life is so different from everyone else's, and yeah that's really ok with me, I just haven't found people to live it with yet. Matt is here for good now, which is awesome and makes me completely happy in that respect, but as far as friends and a social life goes: what's that? I try to connect with people and stay in touch but it seems almost impossible. I miss having the kind of relationships I used to have and the people I had them with. I don't know if it will ever be the same or if it should be. When I try to reach out it just kind of makes me not want to anymore you know? It shows me just how different and out of the loop I am, like a long lost one that you never reconnect with. Should you just heal those up and try to move on or come back every once in a while and try to rip them open? It's just so sad because they are a minute away from me, shit I used to LIVE with these girls and now it's like I don't exist. How can such a big part of your life at one point become so close to nothing the next. I don't know, I'm just tired of floating.