(no subject)
I don't want to write all my emotions down because im tired and im sick....but ill just put them in poems....
Invisible Emotions
I'm up and running
Don't ask me to slow down
I can't stay here anymore
I need to let go of you
My sighs of distress
Are tearing at my heart
Each breathe a new scar
My heart needs time to heal
It seems as though
My mind and heart mismatch
My heart says there's hope
My mind says just give up
My friend, you are
Deep conversations
Untold feelings
Jealousy, rage, sorrow
I can't live without you
I need your companionship
I want your heart
It's not for me to have
Your heart sees someone else
The beautiful one
Lucky bitch
As I cry, she rejoices
I am down, you lift her up
I sit in the shadows of your mind
You know I'm there
But do you care?
My heart is invisible to you//growing down. [15 Apr 2004|07:24pm]
dying_slowly
everything seems to get lost in the translation
and sensations of a past memory come rushing over
me. i finally feel cold and the bones i own aren't
mine, they're old and they are wearing me down as
i bear down and take a look around. i've created
nothing worth keeping and have dreamt no dreams
worth dreaming...what will be my fate, i wonder.
my head aches my heart breaks and i realize
this is all i have, all i'll ever have. [isn't
life grand?] i shiver and i shake as i break
down inside and try to stay awake for this ride
into a different skin, this crazy life i've lived.
i long to be little one last time and have mother
to comfort me and tell me i'll be fine. [ i don't
care if it's all a lie.]
so i sit with a box of crayons, 24, and color pictures
of dinosaurs and i reminicse because that is bliss to
me. i try to remember when i was little and my heart
wasn't so brittle to the evil ways of love. and i
crush my dreams [if i don't do it someone else will]
and this is all i have, it seems, and it sends a
chill so strong that it moves me to tears. this is
what i've always feared [ losing myself.]
i've given up on my morals, my standpoints, my
convictions, and the only worth rendition of
this will be put in a chick flick and played as
a lifetime channel movie rerun. and i've realized
i'm done with being a teen and being a drama queen
[striving to be that girl in the magazine] and i'm
reverting back a little. i won't be so brittle
to the ways of love. maybe this is growing up.
but to me, it's growing down
Invisible Emotions
I'm up and running
Don't ask me to slow down
I can't stay here anymore
I need to let go of you
My sighs of distress
Are tearing at my heart
Each breathe a new scar
My heart needs time to heal
It seems as though
My mind and heart mismatch
My heart says there's hope
My mind says just give up
My friend, you are
Deep conversations
Untold feelings
Jealousy, rage, sorrow
I can't live without you
I need your companionship
I want your heart
It's not for me to have
Your heart sees someone else
The beautiful one
Lucky bitch
As I cry, she rejoices
I am down, you lift her up
I sit in the shadows of your mind
You know I'm there
But do you care?
My heart is invisible to you//growing down. [15 Apr 2004|07:24pm]
dying_slowly
everything seems to get lost in the translation
and sensations of a past memory come rushing over
me. i finally feel cold and the bones i own aren't
mine, they're old and they are wearing me down as
i bear down and take a look around. i've created
nothing worth keeping and have dreamt no dreams
worth dreaming...what will be my fate, i wonder.
my head aches my heart breaks and i realize
this is all i have, all i'll ever have. [isn't
life grand?] i shiver and i shake as i break
down inside and try to stay awake for this ride
into a different skin, this crazy life i've lived.
i long to be little one last time and have mother
to comfort me and tell me i'll be fine. [ i don't
care if it's all a lie.]
so i sit with a box of crayons, 24, and color pictures
of dinosaurs and i reminicse because that is bliss to
me. i try to remember when i was little and my heart
wasn't so brittle to the evil ways of love. and i
crush my dreams [if i don't do it someone else will]
and this is all i have, it seems, and it sends a
chill so strong that it moves me to tears. this is
what i've always feared [ losing myself.]
i've given up on my morals, my standpoints, my
convictions, and the only worth rendition of
this will be put in a chick flick and played as
a lifetime channel movie rerun. and i've realized
i'm done with being a teen and being a drama queen
[striving to be that girl in the magazine] and i'm
reverting back a little. i won't be so brittle
to the ways of love. maybe this is growing up.
but to me, it's growing down