x:|:x what a night x:|:x
After i got home last night, i was thinking about how i missed the times where we would just hang out by ourselves, just me and you. Cruize around or go get a couple of videos. I was the happiest i had ever been when that was all going on, and you seemed alot happier too like you didn't have many problems ne more. Then that one day that we went crawdadding, oh boy was that a mistake. Maybe i should have gone with you and not him. Maybe everything would be different and we wouldn't be in a situation like this. Have you ever thought of that? But everybody has to do something in their life that they have to regret, and thats another thing i regret. I hope you just think about it.
And after i left that message, i started thinking about my past with thomas, about how we always used to be childish and not talk to each other how when we were together it was always me being quiet or him and his friends talking, and how that made me not want to talk ne more because i felt like i was not even there, only when i was hungry for a GRILLED CHEESE!! And how i just wanted him to hold me and just kiss me and take all my fears away and when he did, it felt like everything was okay and that it wouldn't change and oh boy was i wrong. Then i got thinkin am i wrong about the message i just left or what, and i hope to god im not wrong!
I might lose a chance with one of the guys i like. I just want to know if one of them likes me, thats just one thing that would help me so much right now, actually that would help me make my decision completely! Maybe he is just being nice because he knows i like him. Or maybe he does like me. God i want to know. I think im just going to up front with everything in my life now. Im going to say what i feel, ask what i want, even if it pisses people off i don't care. Im in this life for me right now and maybe in the future it will be for somebody else! I don't know. Thanks for reading this.