Oh god, I'm going out of town for the weekend, and I have so much to do tonight, and I have to go to the laundromat in the morning before I leave! Waaaah! I'm bringing my laptop, but it's a super social whirlwind kind of weekend. *sigh* I think I'm looking at staying up waaaaaaaay too late tonight...because you know I have to read it fresh from the beginning in order to appreciate the impact of the end. :)
From my delicious tag, which, yeah, I'm doing before I finish reading (you know I'm obsessive): Long sentences create a kind of dreamy tone to the story; where I would separate a sentence into clauses, wearemany intentionally leaves out the comma, piling more information into the sentence.
i LOVE yr delicious tags. thanks for putting here so i can comment back. and for noticing things like that, and liking them.
(i'm writing this patrickpov thing right now and it was amazing to me how it instantly wanted to be SO different, sentence construction wise. but i'm enjoying the change.)
I've been trying to do that more these days, after a couple people responded obliquely to my tags in their responses to my comment on the story. Better that I quote explicitly!
And oh man, I know the thing about stories that are SO different. I find the yawing between the different styles kind of fascinating, from a writerly perspective, at the same time that it's completely disorienting.
I never know whether it's acceptable to point out grammatical things so I usually don't, but the quality of your writing makes me want it to be perfect, so: "This is probably why people say you shouldn't never hook up with your roommate." should either be should never or shouldn't ever.
I love your writing & can't wait to read the rest, but it's so damn late here and I have to work in 6 hours. urrgh.
"I think I need to stop drinking so much," Shane says, and he means, maybe we should talk about what we do when we're drunk, but Brendon just smiles, concern in his eyes, and brushes his thumb against Shane's cheek.
I've reread this fic a few times over the last week or so--I really enjoy it a lot. I love the line I pasted above the most of all of it. I'm always a sucker for people saying one thing and meaning another, and the way you encapsulated it in that little phrase--I think it's brilliant. :)
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From my delicious tag, which, yeah, I'm doing before I finish reading (you know I'm obsessive):
Long sentences create a kind of dreamy tone to the story; where I would separate a sentence into clauses, wearemany intentionally leaves out the comma, piling more information into the sentence.
Which is what I like thus far.
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(i'm writing this patrickpov thing right now and it was amazing to me how it instantly wanted to be SO different, sentence construction wise. but i'm enjoying the change.)
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And oh man, I know the thing about stories that are SO different. I find the yawing between the different styles kind of fascinating, from a writerly perspective, at the same time that it's completely disorienting.
Reply
I never know whether it's acceptable to point out grammatical things so I usually don't, but the quality of your writing makes me want it to be perfect, so: "This is probably why people say you shouldn't never hook up with your roommate." should either be should never or shouldn't ever.
I love your writing & can't wait to read the rest, but it's so damn late here and I have to work in 6 hours. urrgh.
Reply
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I've reread this fic a few times over the last week or so--I really enjoy it a lot. I love the line I pasted above the most of all of it. I'm always a sucker for people saying one thing and meaning another, and the way you encapsulated it in that little phrase--I think it's brilliant. :)
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