holding on
If there's one thing that I should've learned a long time ago, which am still too stubborn to learn, it would be to let go -- just let go.
I admit : I'm a very sentimental person, sometimes even more than what meets the eye. But yes, I have to admit it too, I can be careless and tactless, not knowing what I've actually done wrong. But hey, I'm human, so I can make mistakes, too, though I'm not saying that being human is a great excuse for making mistakes. It's just that, mistakes certainly are inevitable.
Earlier today I was trying to look back on my life: have I been doing worthwhile things? Have I been wasting time? Have I been studying well? Then, as I was listening to some music on my laptop, one certain line (or maybe two?) struck me:
"Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life"
(How to Save a Life by The Fray)
Have I LOST something? or someone?
I think I have. It's been six months since this has been bothering me. It would sometimes slip my mind because of academic and org stuff, but when I spend time for myself and try to contemplate, this "thing" always pops up and creates a gloomy air around me. Then I end up being emo. But unlike emo's, I don't rant on things, blaming the world, and wanting to kill myself. Instead, I end up hating myself. I've lost a friend--or so I think. I don't know how it happened, but it seemed like our friendship simply was made to vanish by a magician. I couldn't let go-- well, who would? When I asked some friends for advice on this, they said that I shouldn't be too preoccupied with it, that if the person doesn't want to be friends with me, then just let go. But on another point of view though, some just told me to pray and hold on.
So... to let go? or hold on?
I chose to hold on. I may have done wrong, and up until now it's still a big question mark to me, but heck, if I had known about it in the first place, I would've fixed it right then and there. But I didn't. So, what now? It's simple really. Try to recall. Pray. Hold on. REACH OUT. Hope that the magician (which is God) would undo the trick (hopefully it's just a trick) and make our friendship re-appear. I think this isn't a matter of letting go -- like a worn-out shirt or stuffed toy our parents tell us to throw away. It's a matter of how long I could hold on and endure.
I'm not letting go.
I admit : I'm a very sentimental person, sometimes even more than what meets the eye. But yes, I have to admit it too, I can be careless and tactless, not knowing what I've actually done wrong. But hey, I'm human, so I can make mistakes, too, though I'm not saying that being human is a great excuse for making mistakes. It's just that, mistakes certainly are inevitable.
Earlier today I was trying to look back on my life: have I been doing worthwhile things? Have I been wasting time? Have I been studying well? Then, as I was listening to some music on my laptop, one certain line (or maybe two?) struck me:
"Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life"
(How to Save a Life by The Fray)
Have I LOST something? or someone?
I think I have. It's been six months since this has been bothering me. It would sometimes slip my mind because of academic and org stuff, but when I spend time for myself and try to contemplate, this "thing" always pops up and creates a gloomy air around me. Then I end up being emo. But unlike emo's, I don't rant on things, blaming the world, and wanting to kill myself. Instead, I end up hating myself. I've lost a friend--or so I think. I don't know how it happened, but it seemed like our friendship simply was made to vanish by a magician. I couldn't let go-- well, who would? When I asked some friends for advice on this, they said that I shouldn't be too preoccupied with it, that if the person doesn't want to be friends with me, then just let go. But on another point of view though, some just told me to pray and hold on.
So... to let go? or hold on?
I chose to hold on. I may have done wrong, and up until now it's still a big question mark to me, but heck, if I had known about it in the first place, I would've fixed it right then and there. But I didn't. So, what now? It's simple really. Try to recall. Pray. Hold on. REACH OUT. Hope that the magician (which is God) would undo the trick (hopefully it's just a trick) and make our friendship re-appear. I think this isn't a matter of letting go -- like a worn-out shirt or stuffed toy our parents tell us to throw away. It's a matter of how long I could hold on and endure.
I'm not letting go.