Steven...
I know I've written a lot of letters, but it's for the same reason you have.
Except, mine is so bad, I can't even bring myself to write them down on paper, and have you read them. I've tried what? Like 2 or 3 times now. But, I have to stop being afraid of your reaction, because you need to know the real truth. I can't run away from this anymore, and I need to face it, just as you do too.
Steven, I love you. I know you know that, I know you feel it. I want to be with you, I want to be together with you all the time, and hang out just like last night, and show everyone that hey, I'am here, and he is mine, he isn't Suzie's or Kassie's or anyone else but Bri's.
But, I can't stand seeing people look at us and thinking "I wonder if she knows she's just the flavor of the week." Because some don't know of our history.
It hurts. It makes me feel so fucking uncomfortable, I want to leave. That's why I ask you if you talk about me to your friends, if they know who i am, what we've been for years. It makes me feel so fucked up inside.
Last night, what Heather said it's been eating away at me slowly. It made me realize that we're just pushing this whole thing aside and just pretending it never happened. I know i said what i said about us just pushing it aside for the time I'm here, and that is really what I want to do, but only for now. I just wanted to remind you of that. We do have to deal with this, because if not, it's not fair to me. Tonight I'd like to take you out somewhere. Go have dinner or something. Just talk and get all of it out of the way, because there is so much that I haven't said to you not only about this, but about other things, about you, about me....about other people..about my inner most thoughts and feelings, and I just need to be alone with you, just me and you, not nobody else. I just need you.
I need to talk. I need to get this out, and tomorrow and when we get back home, we can still go back to pushing it aside until I go back home. I just need to be alone with you, to talk, to smile, and no interruptions.
Except, mine is so bad, I can't even bring myself to write them down on paper, and have you read them. I've tried what? Like 2 or 3 times now. But, I have to stop being afraid of your reaction, because you need to know the real truth. I can't run away from this anymore, and I need to face it, just as you do too.
Steven, I love you. I know you know that, I know you feel it. I want to be with you, I want to be together with you all the time, and hang out just like last night, and show everyone that hey, I'am here, and he is mine, he isn't Suzie's or Kassie's or anyone else but Bri's.
But, I can't stand seeing people look at us and thinking "I wonder if she knows she's just the flavor of the week." Because some don't know of our history.
It hurts. It makes me feel so fucking uncomfortable, I want to leave. That's why I ask you if you talk about me to your friends, if they know who i am, what we've been for years. It makes me feel so fucked up inside.
Last night, what Heather said it's been eating away at me slowly. It made me realize that we're just pushing this whole thing aside and just pretending it never happened. I know i said what i said about us just pushing it aside for the time I'm here, and that is really what I want to do, but only for now. I just wanted to remind you of that. We do have to deal with this, because if not, it's not fair to me. Tonight I'd like to take you out somewhere. Go have dinner or something. Just talk and get all of it out of the way, because there is so much that I haven't said to you not only about this, but about other things, about you, about me....about other people..about my inner most thoughts and feelings, and I just need to be alone with you, just me and you, not nobody else. I just need you.
I need to talk. I need to get this out, and tomorrow and when we get back home, we can still go back to pushing it aside until I go back home. I just need to be alone with you, to talk, to smile, and no interruptions.