i dont want to think about that.. please :o(
i hate today. it sucked completly.
yesterday was good, last night was good too, i was really nice, but today sucked. he was nice to be yesterday and i loved it. cant go 2 days with him being nice to me can he? gosh why does it hurt so much. i hate crying. all i wanted to do was lean over and hugg him, hoping hed hug me back. but i was scared, i was so scared. he could push me away. i leaned close. we ate and talked. i still cried, he didnt think it was bad then. he liked it, but what made him out of no where change back to the person a week ago? nothing i ever do will be enough, nothing. i cant have him. he hates me, he doesnt want me. and why? who knows. ive given him so many chances, soooo many. he cant do the same? no.. he cant. ruin me. i was strong, then out of no where, i broke again. shattered. why? i dont know :0( maybe i thought it was the start of something, us together. but no, i wasnt, it will never be... for a very long time. i hate the thought of that. i hate it so much. why would you stop everything after a year? why wouldnt you try it again? just please just try it. youll see that everything changed. youll see things would get better. but you dont want me. at all. youd rather i die then get back together.
he started to talk to me, like before. it was sooooooo nice, it made me happy, he was talking to me just like before. telling me things, it was nice. i loved it. why does it hurt now? why does he hate me? why doesnt he bother telling me things half the time? why cant he treat me like before? its not hard, its not so hard, its really not. why cant he talk to me like before, tell me why hes not. why did everything have to change for the worse? nothings the same, i dont care if were not together, i just want to be treated the same way. its not hard, i miss it. i miss him, i miss him telling me i was cute. i looked at him yesterday and i started crying because i havent seen him in forever. i missed him. i missed him so much, i saw him everyday. i missed that. i smiled.
its bad enough im not going to prom. :o( gosh that hurt just saying it. i want to go, i want to go with you. ive always been there for you, going places sometimes where i dont want to go, i always went because i love you, i love you so much. but no, not for me. its all ruined. it meant so much for me. so much. duh, im a girl, senior year, one day i can look cute, show my dress that i worked for. to be happy. so happy to be with him there, dancing, have fun on the bed in the hotel, like vermont. gosh it would be so much fun if u came. if i even went, but im not. dont tell me to go with anyone else, dont you get it? i planned it with you in the picture, everything with you in the picture. :o(
now hes gonna go off camping, doing whatever he wants. talking to other girls, getting numbers, sitting and flirting with them. i just want to die. i want to die. i dont want to be here anymore. he loved me once, why would he do that. to get back at me? i never did that to him, never. he loved me. i love him. i dont know if he loves me anymore. i wish he told me. i wish he felt the same way on the friday when he came over. the first time i saw him. he knew we wold be together forever. now hes killing it, letting it die. he wont even try. why wont he try? its so easy for him. we've been through so many many things together so many things. things i would only do with him, things i only saw myself doing with him, he told me to. hes happy things happen with me and with no other girls. i have it. i kept it. why would you let that go? :o( why would anyone let that go? tell me why. we've been through sooo much. so much. i want him to be the only one, him to be there for everything, every little single thing. i want to be there, right now, i want to be there with him for everything he goes through.
camping, find someone else. how can he find someone else? how can he go flirt, sit, get numbers from other gils? who knows what else hes gonna do :o( i just want to die. how can he go find someone else, when there is someone here that loves him? that wants him, that knows every little single thing about him. we have so much history together[why would you throw that away?] soo much. we know everything about each other. so much, how can you go find someone else? we make each other happy. we knew everything :o( i cant think of someone else with pookie. i hate the thought of him with someone else we've been together through so much. we did so many thigs together, we had so many plans together. how can he go and "move on" to someone else. he seemed happy, when he said that. he said he was gonna do whatever he wants. i started to cry because i knew he was going to. i felt it in my heart that he was really going to do that. why would he do that. tell me why. to get back at me? i love him so much, it kills me so much. i dont want to be alive anymore. he loved me, why would he do this? does he love me? gosh i wish he still did. i wish he didnt do whatever he wanted. i wish he thought about us and the plans we made. i wish he thought about how happy he was. how much he loved me. how much we have been through.
please dont take my pookie away, i dont want him with someone else. he loved me, he made me soo happy, he made me laugh, we did everything together. i made him laugh, i made him happy, i thought about him every single second of my life. i always thought about getting him little things. its the little things that count half the time i did. i always thought about him in my life, us together forever. i never thought about us not together, it just wasnt right. i love spending time with him, never did i think i was tired of him, never did i think he was annoying, never did i think about getting away from him. i was never tired of him, he never annoyed me, i never wanted to get away from him. i always wanted to be with him, i always tried to be with him. i dont want memories anymore, i want the real thing, i want him next to me. sitting with me, knowing i have him there for support. now, im by myself. its so hard knowing i cant call him when im upset about something. he just wants to leave me.
now its gonna go back to me not goin to school.. just like last week, i was good yesterday, maybe because he was nice to me, or maybe it was because i knew i was gonna see him at night. i want it to be like that everday. but i want him in my life, everyday. thats when ill be really happy, i know itll never happen, so ill be depressed, upset, cry, and try to be happy when my day finally comes.
i know im stupid, i know everything. i know, i get it. im not stupid. i just... wish. i dont know why. i wish things were different and theyre not. i want them to be so bad. i want things to go back to the way things were and we would work from there, but i know, no matter how much i wish, i wont ever come true. all the pain im going through, has to happen. i dont want them to, i want to be happy, i want to be happy with him i want to be happy again, i was so happy. now, im dead, im not happy, i cry all the time. its not suppost to happen this way i wish so bad things were the way they are suppost to happen. what we thought was suppost to happen. us together, forever. like we always said. always said together for ever. fo lief. me and you pookie.
i want it so bad :o(
please, think about me, how much i love you, how much we've through, how much history we have, how we had plans. pookie <3
im tired and im upset, my nose hurts and i have a head ache
im gonna break down..
-xox- glue and ants fo lief pookie. szeret lek
yesterday was good, last night was good too, i was really nice, but today sucked. he was nice to be yesterday and i loved it. cant go 2 days with him being nice to me can he? gosh why does it hurt so much. i hate crying. all i wanted to do was lean over and hugg him, hoping hed hug me back. but i was scared, i was so scared. he could push me away. i leaned close. we ate and talked. i still cried, he didnt think it was bad then. he liked it, but what made him out of no where change back to the person a week ago? nothing i ever do will be enough, nothing. i cant have him. he hates me, he doesnt want me. and why? who knows. ive given him so many chances, soooo many. he cant do the same? no.. he cant. ruin me. i was strong, then out of no where, i broke again. shattered. why? i dont know :0( maybe i thought it was the start of something, us together. but no, i wasnt, it will never be... for a very long time. i hate the thought of that. i hate it so much. why would you stop everything after a year? why wouldnt you try it again? just please just try it. youll see that everything changed. youll see things would get better. but you dont want me. at all. youd rather i die then get back together.
he started to talk to me, like before. it was sooooooo nice, it made me happy, he was talking to me just like before. telling me things, it was nice. i loved it. why does it hurt now? why does he hate me? why doesnt he bother telling me things half the time? why cant he treat me like before? its not hard, its not so hard, its really not. why cant he talk to me like before, tell me why hes not. why did everything have to change for the worse? nothings the same, i dont care if were not together, i just want to be treated the same way. its not hard, i miss it. i miss him, i miss him telling me i was cute. i looked at him yesterday and i started crying because i havent seen him in forever. i missed him. i missed him so much, i saw him everyday. i missed that. i smiled.
its bad enough im not going to prom. :o( gosh that hurt just saying it. i want to go, i want to go with you. ive always been there for you, going places sometimes where i dont want to go, i always went because i love you, i love you so much. but no, not for me. its all ruined. it meant so much for me. so much. duh, im a girl, senior year, one day i can look cute, show my dress that i worked for. to be happy. so happy to be with him there, dancing, have fun on the bed in the hotel, like vermont. gosh it would be so much fun if u came. if i even went, but im not. dont tell me to go with anyone else, dont you get it? i planned it with you in the picture, everything with you in the picture. :o(
now hes gonna go off camping, doing whatever he wants. talking to other girls, getting numbers, sitting and flirting with them. i just want to die. i want to die. i dont want to be here anymore. he loved me once, why would he do that. to get back at me? i never did that to him, never. he loved me. i love him. i dont know if he loves me anymore. i wish he told me. i wish he felt the same way on the friday when he came over. the first time i saw him. he knew we wold be together forever. now hes killing it, letting it die. he wont even try. why wont he try? its so easy for him. we've been through so many many things together so many things. things i would only do with him, things i only saw myself doing with him, he told me to. hes happy things happen with me and with no other girls. i have it. i kept it. why would you let that go? :o( why would anyone let that go? tell me why. we've been through sooo much. so much. i want him to be the only one, him to be there for everything, every little single thing. i want to be there, right now, i want to be there with him for everything he goes through.
camping, find someone else. how can he find someone else? how can he go flirt, sit, get numbers from other gils? who knows what else hes gonna do :o( i just want to die. how can he go find someone else, when there is someone here that loves him? that wants him, that knows every little single thing about him. we have so much history together[why would you throw that away?] soo much. we know everything about each other. so much, how can you go find someone else? we make each other happy. we knew everything :o( i cant think of someone else with pookie. i hate the thought of him with someone else we've been together through so much. we did so many thigs together, we had so many plans together. how can he go and "move on" to someone else. he seemed happy, when he said that. he said he was gonna do whatever he wants. i started to cry because i knew he was going to. i felt it in my heart that he was really going to do that. why would he do that. tell me why. to get back at me? i love him so much, it kills me so much. i dont want to be alive anymore. he loved me, why would he do this? does he love me? gosh i wish he still did. i wish he didnt do whatever he wanted. i wish he thought about us and the plans we made. i wish he thought about how happy he was. how much he loved me. how much we have been through.
please dont take my pookie away, i dont want him with someone else. he loved me, he made me soo happy, he made me laugh, we did everything together. i made him laugh, i made him happy, i thought about him every single second of my life. i always thought about getting him little things. its the little things that count half the time i did. i always thought about him in my life, us together forever. i never thought about us not together, it just wasnt right. i love spending time with him, never did i think i was tired of him, never did i think he was annoying, never did i think about getting away from him. i was never tired of him, he never annoyed me, i never wanted to get away from him. i always wanted to be with him, i always tried to be with him. i dont want memories anymore, i want the real thing, i want him next to me. sitting with me, knowing i have him there for support. now, im by myself. its so hard knowing i cant call him when im upset about something. he just wants to leave me.
now its gonna go back to me not goin to school.. just like last week, i was good yesterday, maybe because he was nice to me, or maybe it was because i knew i was gonna see him at night. i want it to be like that everday. but i want him in my life, everyday. thats when ill be really happy, i know itll never happen, so ill be depressed, upset, cry, and try to be happy when my day finally comes.
i know im stupid, i know everything. i know, i get it. im not stupid. i just... wish. i dont know why. i wish things were different and theyre not. i want them to be so bad. i want things to go back to the way things were and we would work from there, but i know, no matter how much i wish, i wont ever come true. all the pain im going through, has to happen. i dont want them to, i want to be happy, i want to be happy with him i want to be happy again, i was so happy. now, im dead, im not happy, i cry all the time. its not suppost to happen this way i wish so bad things were the way they are suppost to happen. what we thought was suppost to happen. us together, forever. like we always said. always said together for ever. fo lief. me and you pookie.
i want it so bad :o(
please, think about me, how much i love you, how much we've through, how much history we have, how we had plans. pookie <3
im tired and im upset, my nose hurts and i have a head ache
im gonna break down..
-xox- glue and ants fo lief pookie. szeret lek