FIC: Third Time Lucky (Brad/Ray, NC17, 6760 words)

[kali1967]

Title: Third Time Lucky
Author: Kali
Pairings: Brad/Ray
Rating: NC17
Summary: "It's actually kind of sad, Brad. I mean, if you don't start learning to play nice, you're gonna have to get a whore every time you want some action. You'll be fucking broke, homes.”Disclaimer: This is based on the ficionalised HBO series, not the actual people portrayed

Comments

[meeks00]

Kali.

Once upon a time kali1967 and meeks00 had a cracktastic conversation about how awkward our dearest Bradley is with women. And then kali1967 demonstrated her genius by turning that conversation into a multiple-k fic that included everything that meeks00 loved. There was awkwardness and porn in it. And then meeks00 lived happily ever after.

THIS IS HOW ALL FAIRY TALES SHOULD GO.

♥ This is so, so perfect, my dear!

Her expression brightens and she says, “Oh, are you in the Army?”
Brad snorts, throws a glance at her that's more of a glare. “Don't fucking insult me. I'm a Marine.”
Even if I didn't love every detail and every line of dialogue and every time Brad got shot down and all of the interactions with the bartender -- even if the fic consisted only of this and then Brad getting REJECTED -- I WOULD DIE HAPPY. LOL

You wrote Brad's awkwardness so wonderfully, and it's so well-juxtaposed with how the girls just shimmy up to His Gorgeousness. I didn't question that for a minute. More girls would probably mob him if he weren't so intimidatingly beautiful.

“Yo, homie,” Ray calls to Mikey, “How many times has my boy here crashed and burned?”
PURE LOVE.

I love that Ray just runs right in and drapes himself over Brad's back. I love that image so, so much! And I love how Brad can't help but be affectionate. You also so wonderfully described Brad's reluctance because of DADT, but also his obvious interest. UGH YUM.

Ray just implied-if anyone found out-could be a-he'd never trick-does he want a-probably just horny-how did he know-why did he-he's kind of sexy.
WOW. Great thought process here. I loved this.

One of his hands is resting lightly on his thigh, fingers edging towards his groin. He doesn't say anything lewd and the pose could possibly pass for innocent, but there's something in his expression that ruins it, turns it into something slutty and wanton. Brad's mouth goes a little dry at the sight because for all his loud talk, off-key singing and general obnoxiousness, put Ray on a bed and he turns into someone else.
I just absolutely love everything about this transformation. From the noise of Ray's enthusiasm in the bar to the up-front proposition to Brad's easy acceptance to the witty exchange as they head into the hotel/room to this sudden quiet before the heat turns up. Brilliant.

It's the same thing Brad did with the door, but dirtier - a challenge, test and invitation all wrapped up into one slow movement.
You write fantastic give-and-take. Just cyclical and wonderful!

And then -- uh -- incoherence, to all of it. Brad's dominance there is SO great. And Raaaaaay! UGH. I don't even know what to SAY about it! ♥ Awesome and hot and I melted complETELY. And Brad doesn't go back to the bar!

Sequel? In which Brad is now over awkwardness as he has someone, but no he has to get over the awkwardness of being emotionally stunted by the ex?! A;LSDGJA;DLGJASDL;GJ

You are awesome.

[kali1967]

Eeeee! *HUGS*

Thank you for the awesome comments-and for putting the idea in my head in the first place :P I'm really glad you liked it so much and sorry it took me like, a month to write the damned thing.

Also, you just picked out like, all my favourite lines from this thing, just fyi :D