we look a lot better by moonlight
soo. the lacey library is sweet. andd i got new shoes today. and stuff.
the last few days i have just all the sudden started crying out of no where. i'll be watching t.v. or something. then thinking about nate leaving. beth keeps telling me hes leaving for the east coast in a couple weeks with tyler and then heading back to arizona for a long time. might as well be forever. im so fucking confused because hes obviously very important to me if im crying. but its all when we drink. thats not nescessarily a bad thing. it means something. on my part at least. but i dont know what we are, and when im with him im very happy and he is too unless hes a really good actor. and the next morning i get up to leave... and hes in the other room smoking pot. i hate pot. hate hate hate. god if i could just tell you. damned confusion.
"i woke up in mid afternoon, cuz thats when it all hurts the most"
"waiting here for you, wanting to tell you how i find myself slowly disappearing too. thought if i told you, you might want to help me remain with you"
on a happier note... melanie should be spittin' out some baby soon. thats very exciting. i keep wondering about what its gunna be like to meet her, and what shes gunna be like. we went to family camp, which was pretty risky because it was kinda far from any hospital. it was good, except for the wind. and lack of swimming.
anyway, sympathy pee. gotta go.
the last few days i have just all the sudden started crying out of no where. i'll be watching t.v. or something. then thinking about nate leaving. beth keeps telling me hes leaving for the east coast in a couple weeks with tyler and then heading back to arizona for a long time. might as well be forever. im so fucking confused because hes obviously very important to me if im crying. but its all when we drink. thats not nescessarily a bad thing. it means something. on my part at least. but i dont know what we are, and when im with him im very happy and he is too unless hes a really good actor. and the next morning i get up to leave... and hes in the other room smoking pot. i hate pot. hate hate hate. god if i could just tell you. damned confusion.
"i woke up in mid afternoon, cuz thats when it all hurts the most"
"waiting here for you, wanting to tell you how i find myself slowly disappearing too. thought if i told you, you might want to help me remain with you"
on a happier note... melanie should be spittin' out some baby soon. thats very exciting. i keep wondering about what its gunna be like to meet her, and what shes gunna be like. we went to family camp, which was pretty risky because it was kinda far from any hospital. it was good, except for the wind. and lack of swimming.
anyway, sympathy pee. gotta go.