(no subject)
i think amber and shon have accepted they are going to die soon.
rather, i think they have decided they are going to die soon.
i want to move in with them, because i want to learn as much as i can from them before they go. a pity that such bright souls are in such poor estates. such are the wonders of heroin.
i have some hope that i might help them see that they are beautiful people and that they ought to try their damned hardest to save themselves. but hope is not as strong as tar.
not smoking this month has really helped me, a lot. I don't think it was so much the pot that was the problem, but that i needed a major change to help me realize that i have been wasting a LOT of time. having some time to broadcast mah radioes, and opening communiques with Phantom and Thom have helped with that, as well.
Wasting time is appropriate and even necessary sometimes, but i am losing grip of my dreams because of it. and that is not okay.
i do very much hope that i will someday find time to learn everything i want to about music. although there is not enough time in space for that. :)
i still should give emily her book back, and her poem. I almost say i don't want to shut that door yet, but it's already closed. I kept thinking of all the potential repercussions of that night, and it turns out the one that has the least actual consequences hurts the most, because she has probably spent many nights thinking about how worthless and stupid she is and how terrible of a man i am.
she is right about me, at least.
i do hope the drugs don't obliterate her, too. i could see it turning into that and i should really hope it doesn't. she seemed like such a creative little bean.
hopefully i will leave her a poem and she will come to me and say warren that was a beautiful poem i know you did not mean to hurt me so let's be friends and just that and have wonderful happy lives in relative proximity of one another, okay?
ahh, hope, you wily dog you.
7:07am.
no-one has any taste, and everyone else is an idiot. this is a statement that holds true for everyone. so we might as well scratch the else.
i missed going over to the colson place a lot. they are wonderful over there, but they need to start trying to motivate their residents. preferably not by charging them rent, because i like that nobody is forced into the rat race over there. it's very cool, but i wish they were more active in helping foster dreams, goals, etc.
then again they have important rat races to finish. :P
i still miss you, most nights.
i wonder if your adventures are as wonderful to you, as you are to them. god knows you deserve it.
or do you?
or does he?
oh, what a tangled web we weave.
rather, i think they have decided they are going to die soon.
i want to move in with them, because i want to learn as much as i can from them before they go. a pity that such bright souls are in such poor estates. such are the wonders of heroin.
i have some hope that i might help them see that they are beautiful people and that they ought to try their damned hardest to save themselves. but hope is not as strong as tar.
not smoking this month has really helped me, a lot. I don't think it was so much the pot that was the problem, but that i needed a major change to help me realize that i have been wasting a LOT of time. having some time to broadcast mah radioes, and opening communiques with Phantom and Thom have helped with that, as well.
Wasting time is appropriate and even necessary sometimes, but i am losing grip of my dreams because of it. and that is not okay.
i do very much hope that i will someday find time to learn everything i want to about music. although there is not enough time in space for that. :)
i still should give emily her book back, and her poem. I almost say i don't want to shut that door yet, but it's already closed. I kept thinking of all the potential repercussions of that night, and it turns out the one that has the least actual consequences hurts the most, because she has probably spent many nights thinking about how worthless and stupid she is and how terrible of a man i am.
she is right about me, at least.
i do hope the drugs don't obliterate her, too. i could see it turning into that and i should really hope it doesn't. she seemed like such a creative little bean.
hopefully i will leave her a poem and she will come to me and say warren that was a beautiful poem i know you did not mean to hurt me so let's be friends and just that and have wonderful happy lives in relative proximity of one another, okay?
ahh, hope, you wily dog you.
7:07am.
no-one has any taste, and everyone else is an idiot. this is a statement that holds true for everyone. so we might as well scratch the else.
i missed going over to the colson place a lot. they are wonderful over there, but they need to start trying to motivate their residents. preferably not by charging them rent, because i like that nobody is forced into the rat race over there. it's very cool, but i wish they were more active in helping foster dreams, goals, etc.
then again they have important rat races to finish. :P
i still miss you, most nights.
i wonder if your adventures are as wonderful to you, as you are to them. god knows you deserve it.
or do you?
or does he?
oh, what a tangled web we weave.