I want to be more like the hummingbird on my foot.
Yesterday I went running on an empty stomach (I know better) around Cooper City. The old roads, old houses that I used to pass on the way to school. Sometimes when I'm in a bad mood, it's enough to help clear it. The place just reeks of home. I remember riding bikes and coke slushies and the rec center and pokemon cards and being a kid.
On a lark, I took a different path, over the one bridge into the neighborhood were my grandma lived. I haven't been that way in a good five or six years. I could still find her house, but it was harder than it should've been, and seemed... smaller.
I made myself walk after awhile. There's a difference between strength and self destruction, and maybe I could've made it home running the whole way, but I think it would've just been me- lightheaded and vomiting water and red now n laters and bile off the sidewalk.
Then I showered and went to work, and made money on a dead tuesday night. It was the birthday party for one of my regulars, and I had another really large tab with a nice tip, and maybe five people that overtipped because they felt bad for me because it was a) dead or b) the two ladies and four kids were being a pain in the ass. I'm sorry you don't like your malibu and pineapple with a shot of vodka on top. Oh really, it tastes bad? No shit. Don't ask me to make you a crappy drink and then complain about it. And if you leave me $35 on a $39 bill, I will politely go after you and inform you that you've made a mistake. (that mistake being that I'm going to pay for the other $4 dollars of your bill.)
Bitch.
It was a pretty good night. (and I'm going to learn my lesson eventually, but they never realize when I'm not completely sober and she wanted company for ladie's night and she's my ride home and I even won a game of pool for a change. I am not bad at it some days.)
I had dance practice today, and ate breakfast, and I'm thinking maybe tonight's a night for mini golf =)
...and there is nothing attractive or intelligent about my anger (maybe that's why I usually control my temper.) I can't shake this feeling that I was terribly wrong about something that mattered.
On a lark, I took a different path, over the one bridge into the neighborhood were my grandma lived. I haven't been that way in a good five or six years. I could still find her house, but it was harder than it should've been, and seemed... smaller.
I made myself walk after awhile. There's a difference between strength and self destruction, and maybe I could've made it home running the whole way, but I think it would've just been me- lightheaded and vomiting water and red now n laters and bile off the sidewalk.
Then I showered and went to work, and made money on a dead tuesday night. It was the birthday party for one of my regulars, and I had another really large tab with a nice tip, and maybe five people that overtipped because they felt bad for me because it was a) dead or b) the two ladies and four kids were being a pain in the ass. I'm sorry you don't like your malibu and pineapple with a shot of vodka on top. Oh really, it tastes bad? No shit. Don't ask me to make you a crappy drink and then complain about it. And if you leave me $35 on a $39 bill, I will politely go after you and inform you that you've made a mistake. (that mistake being that I'm going to pay for the other $4 dollars of your bill.)
Bitch.
It was a pretty good night. (and I'm going to learn my lesson eventually, but they never realize when I'm not completely sober and she wanted company for ladie's night and she's my ride home and I even won a game of pool for a change. I am not bad at it some days.)
I had dance practice today, and ate breakfast, and I'm thinking maybe tonight's a night for mini golf =)
...and there is nothing attractive or intelligent about my anger (maybe that's why I usually control my temper.) I can't shake this feeling that I was terribly wrong about something that mattered.