Fuck love/hate relationships.
I went to the flanagen colorguard competition this morning and god damn I miss colorguard.
I think I miss everything about it; the performing particularly, but also the family/team aspect, the time, the atmosphere.
Or do I just miss high school? I don't know.
I want to get a sabre back in my hands. (I want my life back in my hands.)
I got a little teary eyed watching a stupid rinky dink little novice guard and my thoughts go like this: Fuck. I'm marching again this summer, aren't I?
I'm pissed. I miss it. I want to do it so badly. I can't believe I want to put myself through that again.
I thought I was done with this. I always think I'm done with things ( I'm a terrible liar, but I can almost convince myself.)
...and I can only put off so many decisions for so long. Fucking deadlines.
And I still question my motivatons.
I think I miss everything about it; the performing particularly, but also the family/team aspect, the time, the atmosphere.
Or do I just miss high school? I don't know.
I want to get a sabre back in my hands. (I want my life back in my hands.)
I got a little teary eyed watching a stupid rinky dink little novice guard and my thoughts go like this: Fuck. I'm marching again this summer, aren't I?
I'm pissed. I miss it. I want to do it so badly. I can't believe I want to put myself through that again.
I thought I was done with this. I always think I'm done with things ( I'm a terrible liar, but I can almost convince myself.)
...and I can only put off so many decisions for so long. Fucking deadlines.
And I still question my motivatons.