In every moment, we are invited to choose...
It has been said that through our dreams, we receive messages not just from our own unconscious knowledge, but from the collective unconscious of all humankind.
In the last month, I have had many dreams. Two of them have contained perhaps the most powerful, yet simple messages I have ever received. The first was a short dream with little going on, that ended with the phrase, "faith is love, that's all." I awoke remembering this phrase, realized it had nothing to do with religion at all, and thought how simple it was.
The latest dream from one morning several weeks ago was also simple, yet far more illustrative. I stood in front of a gas station late at night, my lover in front of me and another to my left. The one to my left held a revolver, and, looking for proof of the previous dream's assertion, wanted to shoot me - to see whether love would keep me alive. I thought this ridiculous but, for some reason, I stood there knowing I had to oblige.
My lover before me, though, thought differently. Rather than seek to witness the strength of love demonstrated by impossible measures, he pulled a strange-edged, long, smooth silver knife out from who-knows-where. His implication seemed to be that if the other were to fire into me and he to cut into me at the same time, the knife would either block the bullet from my heart and save my life, or, in the scuffle, one of the two weapons would end his instead.
I doubted aloud whether the not-sharp tip would even cut into me. Basically, I doubted whether he could truly wound me, where it was apparent that the other could easily kill me - and carelessly.
Disappointment will arise between all lovers, and yet relationships that are built on the simple truth of love can be clearly distinguished from those that center exclusively around hard lessons which must (often painfully) be learned. Belief is the element that is missing in the latter relationships, and perhaps it is what we're meant to acquire through those very lessons. Or perhaps there are simply very few who truly help us see what it is we are to believe in, however unique that may be for each person. (I guess the distinctiveness of each person would explain the rarity of finding such a partner in any event.) Either way, my dreams and my recent observations in life continue to point out that love does, in fact, heal. It also prevents many of those wounds we've heard about it healing in the famous quote...
It seems to me that "hurt" itself is a very different phenomenon in the context of what two people who believe in love - and in each other - have created together. Hurt is much more easily seen as an internal gut reaction than an intentional external cause of pain - and therefore more easily converted into useful understanding than left to fester into long-term doubt. In the nest of the lovers' belief in what they have created, or maybe even just stumbled upon, hurt is a temporary, transformative occurrence which only serves to remind them of what is important, what they truly do believe in. The entire process seems designed to eradicate fear... to the point where belief is so strong that your lover might pull a knife to save your life, or end his own before choosing to live without you - at least in your dreams, anyway. ;-)
The manufactured "fear culture" that has perpetuated our lives, our "society" if you will, is missing one thing and one thing alone: belief in love. Not belief that you will finally get laid again, not belief that you will have enough stuff, not belief that you will be seen as cool. Those are all simply fears disguised as urges. The campaign (if it is one), or the inadvertent decline of humanity (if it is not), does not create a culture of fear by injecting "fearful things" into our midst. It simply dredges up various situations which make us question our inherent belief in love - over and over again until we are nearly convinced that there is no such thing as real love, that we are incapable of loving and undeserving of being loved. Just as we generate situations like this when we are at our weakest in relationships, society generates these situations when people are, get this - not oppressed, but in fact, (wait for it...) DISENGAGED.
Yes, Gen Y-ers, it is when we all check out and spend more time distracting ourselves from life that the dull, indiscernible emptiness actually degenerates into fear. Nothing to be passionate about? Plugged into the matrix and out of your own evolution? Forget about what "religion" says about belief for a minute... the lack of belief we're building up is in life itself. The hole that we dig by not digging into life is our own internal grave for love, buried alive, silently screaming that what is happening here is the exact opposite of the point: love is all there is.
Love is what is there in the eyes of the "disfigured" child we are afraid to look at. Love is what is there in the silence between two people afraid to love each other and what drives them on to others when the words are never said, the embraces never trusted. Love is what is there behind the "dork" stumbling to speak to you in the elementary school lunchroom and what drives the "geek" to own every item ever created from [insert collectible fantasy series here]. Love, or the lack of it - but is it the geek's lack, or ours? Love may not seem to be there because we refuse to look into what does not seem appealing for what truly IS there... (later, when that nerd is a "hot" successful [insert "successful job title here], we know better, right? Hindsight is 20/20. ;-)
Now, are you ready for this? Love is what is there when someone who has been beaten beats their own child. This is horrifying to think of, and it doesn't make much sense, I know. But give it just another minute of your attention, of your compassion. The one who is doing the harm is reenacting the harm done, reliving and, unfortunately, passing on the original pain of being hurt. (There are some parents who will say they "discipline" their children physically because they love them and want them to grow up "right" - that's not what I'm saying here.) What I'm pointing out is that what appears to be evil is demonstration of what things look like WITHOUT love - that someone who inflicts harm on another is acting out of fear, out of a sort of warped love, seemingly ruined by abuse or neglect.
I've come to wonder if all that we think of as gross, or horrible, or wrong is simply something that was beautiful, or pure, or good TWISTED in some way so that it can no longer be believed in - so that it can no longer be seen with love. In the "ugly," the "appalling," the "incomprehensible," the "unlovable" - love may not seem to be there because it is buried beneath something we perceive as threatening.
Sometimes, though, we simply refuse to look for love at all. Rather than give a chance, help repair, or be part of the transformation of something (or someone) "damaged," the default is to turn away and try to pretend it doesn't exist - at least in our own little worlds.
Just as it is with our own personal "demons," that which we ignore will only come back to "haunt" us, and (to get back to my personal experience) never was that more apparent than recently when I got tangled up in the web of bad movie-watching I strive so hard to avoid: Silent Hill. I guess you can see some of the "horror" seeping into my writing, n'est-ce pas? ;-) Nonetheless, there was something interesting going on in this film wide-screen-video-game: survival wasn't something to be achieved by DOING anything. The way to survive was to endure the "horror" - the "fear" - brought up by whatever horrible figures or scenarios encountered until they simply faded away and you got your clue to the next step along the journey toward your "destiny." Hmm, sounds a lot like life, and, as The Human Adventure's own Fool would say, "like some of my relationships!"
Ok, ok, so they weren't that bad, but my point - and I do have one - is that the whole journey, the whole relationship thing, the whole love thing, the whole life thing - well, it seems to be about evolving past fear, experiencing joy without doubt... following your bliss.
At the heart of "fear" is love - cornered and tainted by lack of belief. Fear is driven by disbelief - the lack of the strength required to support, nourish, and fuel that love to fruition, to a life of manifested joy... basically, a lack of willingness to endure with the hope of transformation, a lack of willingness to be transformed.
One who believes in love neither tempts nor tests fate. Those who test fate fail the tests of love. Those who tempt fate are rewarded with failure. Thus, those who do not believe seal their own fate in demise and loss of love.
However, those who believe in love, however hard-earned, require no proof. Belief sustains love and thus becomes its own proof - as the continued manifestation of love is, in itself, the manifestation of living belief.
I'm out of words now, so I'll leave you with Joni's... I think they make the point far better than my rambling ever could:
"Tears and fears and feeling proud,
To say 'I love you' right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus clowns,
I've looked at life that way
Oh, but now, old friends - they're acting strange
And they shake their heads and they tell me that I've changed
Well, something's lost and something's gained
In living every day
Oh, I've looked at life from both sides now,
From win and lose and still, somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all."
- Joni Mitchell
Power moves in the direction of hope
www.melissaaxel.com
__________________________________________________________________
"If you were to define love, the only word big enough to engulf it all would be 'life.' Love is life in all its aspects. And if you miss love, you miss life. Please don’t."
-Leo Buscalia
In the last month, I have had many dreams. Two of them have contained perhaps the most powerful, yet simple messages I have ever received. The first was a short dream with little going on, that ended with the phrase, "faith is love, that's all." I awoke remembering this phrase, realized it had nothing to do with religion at all, and thought how simple it was.
The latest dream from one morning several weeks ago was also simple, yet far more illustrative. I stood in front of a gas station late at night, my lover in front of me and another to my left. The one to my left held a revolver, and, looking for proof of the previous dream's assertion, wanted to shoot me - to see whether love would keep me alive. I thought this ridiculous but, for some reason, I stood there knowing I had to oblige.
My lover before me, though, thought differently. Rather than seek to witness the strength of love demonstrated by impossible measures, he pulled a strange-edged, long, smooth silver knife out from who-knows-where. His implication seemed to be that if the other were to fire into me and he to cut into me at the same time, the knife would either block the bullet from my heart and save my life, or, in the scuffle, one of the two weapons would end his instead.
I doubted aloud whether the not-sharp tip would even cut into me. Basically, I doubted whether he could truly wound me, where it was apparent that the other could easily kill me - and carelessly.
Disappointment will arise between all lovers, and yet relationships that are built on the simple truth of love can be clearly distinguished from those that center exclusively around hard lessons which must (often painfully) be learned. Belief is the element that is missing in the latter relationships, and perhaps it is what we're meant to acquire through those very lessons. Or perhaps there are simply very few who truly help us see what it is we are to believe in, however unique that may be for each person. (I guess the distinctiveness of each person would explain the rarity of finding such a partner in any event.) Either way, my dreams and my recent observations in life continue to point out that love does, in fact, heal. It also prevents many of those wounds we've heard about it healing in the famous quote...
It seems to me that "hurt" itself is a very different phenomenon in the context of what two people who believe in love - and in each other - have created together. Hurt is much more easily seen as an internal gut reaction than an intentional external cause of pain - and therefore more easily converted into useful understanding than left to fester into long-term doubt. In the nest of the lovers' belief in what they have created, or maybe even just stumbled upon, hurt is a temporary, transformative occurrence which only serves to remind them of what is important, what they truly do believe in. The entire process seems designed to eradicate fear... to the point where belief is so strong that your lover might pull a knife to save your life, or end his own before choosing to live without you - at least in your dreams, anyway. ;-)
The manufactured "fear culture" that has perpetuated our lives, our "society" if you will, is missing one thing and one thing alone: belief in love. Not belief that you will finally get laid again, not belief that you will have enough stuff, not belief that you will be seen as cool. Those are all simply fears disguised as urges. The campaign (if it is one), or the inadvertent decline of humanity (if it is not), does not create a culture of fear by injecting "fearful things" into our midst. It simply dredges up various situations which make us question our inherent belief in love - over and over again until we are nearly convinced that there is no such thing as real love, that we are incapable of loving and undeserving of being loved. Just as we generate situations like this when we are at our weakest in relationships, society generates these situations when people are, get this - not oppressed, but in fact, (wait for it...) DISENGAGED.
Yes, Gen Y-ers, it is when we all check out and spend more time distracting ourselves from life that the dull, indiscernible emptiness actually degenerates into fear. Nothing to be passionate about? Plugged into the matrix and out of your own evolution? Forget about what "religion" says about belief for a minute... the lack of belief we're building up is in life itself. The hole that we dig by not digging into life is our own internal grave for love, buried alive, silently screaming that what is happening here is the exact opposite of the point: love is all there is.
Love is what is there in the eyes of the "disfigured" child we are afraid to look at. Love is what is there in the silence between two people afraid to love each other and what drives them on to others when the words are never said, the embraces never trusted. Love is what is there behind the "dork" stumbling to speak to you in the elementary school lunchroom and what drives the "geek" to own every item ever created from [insert collectible fantasy series here]. Love, or the lack of it - but is it the geek's lack, or ours? Love may not seem to be there because we refuse to look into what does not seem appealing for what truly IS there... (later, when that nerd is a "hot" successful [insert "successful job title here], we know better, right? Hindsight is 20/20. ;-)
Now, are you ready for this? Love is what is there when someone who has been beaten beats their own child. This is horrifying to think of, and it doesn't make much sense, I know. But give it just another minute of your attention, of your compassion. The one who is doing the harm is reenacting the harm done, reliving and, unfortunately, passing on the original pain of being hurt. (There are some parents who will say they "discipline" their children physically because they love them and want them to grow up "right" - that's not what I'm saying here.) What I'm pointing out is that what appears to be evil is demonstration of what things look like WITHOUT love - that someone who inflicts harm on another is acting out of fear, out of a sort of warped love, seemingly ruined by abuse or neglect.
I've come to wonder if all that we think of as gross, or horrible, or wrong is simply something that was beautiful, or pure, or good TWISTED in some way so that it can no longer be believed in - so that it can no longer be seen with love. In the "ugly," the "appalling," the "incomprehensible," the "unlovable" - love may not seem to be there because it is buried beneath something we perceive as threatening.
Sometimes, though, we simply refuse to look for love at all. Rather than give a chance, help repair, or be part of the transformation of something (or someone) "damaged," the default is to turn away and try to pretend it doesn't exist - at least in our own little worlds.
Just as it is with our own personal "demons," that which we ignore will only come back to "haunt" us, and (to get back to my personal experience) never was that more apparent than recently when I got tangled up in the web of bad movie-watching I strive so hard to avoid: Silent Hill. I guess you can see some of the "horror" seeping into my writing, n'est-ce pas? ;-) Nonetheless, there was something interesting going on in this film wide-screen-video-game: survival wasn't something to be achieved by DOING anything. The way to survive was to endure the "horror" - the "fear" - brought up by whatever horrible figures or scenarios encountered until they simply faded away and you got your clue to the next step along the journey toward your "destiny." Hmm, sounds a lot like life, and, as The Human Adventure's own Fool would say, "like some of my relationships!"
Ok, ok, so they weren't that bad, but my point - and I do have one - is that the whole journey, the whole relationship thing, the whole love thing, the whole life thing - well, it seems to be about evolving past fear, experiencing joy without doubt... following your bliss.
At the heart of "fear" is love - cornered and tainted by lack of belief. Fear is driven by disbelief - the lack of the strength required to support, nourish, and fuel that love to fruition, to a life of manifested joy... basically, a lack of willingness to endure with the hope of transformation, a lack of willingness to be transformed.
One who believes in love neither tempts nor tests fate. Those who test fate fail the tests of love. Those who tempt fate are rewarded with failure. Thus, those who do not believe seal their own fate in demise and loss of love.
However, those who believe in love, however hard-earned, require no proof. Belief sustains love and thus becomes its own proof - as the continued manifestation of love is, in itself, the manifestation of living belief.
I'm out of words now, so I'll leave you with Joni's... I think they make the point far better than my rambling ever could:
"Tears and fears and feeling proud,
To say 'I love you' right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus clowns,
I've looked at life that way
Oh, but now, old friends - they're acting strange
And they shake their heads and they tell me that I've changed
Well, something's lost and something's gained
In living every day
Oh, I've looked at life from both sides now,
From win and lose and still, somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all."
- Joni Mitchell
Power moves in the direction of hope
www.melissaaxel.com
__________________________________________________________________
"If you were to define love, the only word big enough to engulf it all would be 'life.' Love is life in all its aspects. And if you miss love, you miss life. Please don’t."
-Leo Buscalia