SN Fic-Path not Taken 1-5
Title: Path Not Taken 1-5
Author: usmc75
Rating: PG
Fandom: Supernatural
Characters/Pairing: Sam/Dean
Feedback: Yes Please!! Anything constructive is always welcome!
Disclaimer: Don’t own them. But boy would I like to!!
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Robert Frost
Part One
It was the smoke, no matter how old he got, he never forgot the smoke.
Even now, years away the smell of smoke and cinder can cause a chill to his spine. Not all smoke, just a certain kind. Some wood, little bit of paint…he always knew if there was a fire nearby because his heart would race and his breath would be ragged. No matter how old he got, it was always the smoke.
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Sam woke with a gasp.
Sitting completely upright he sat there, panting into the darkness of the room. For a moment he didn’t know where he was or what was going on.
But as with most nights it was the sound of a strange woman that brought him back to reality.
“Bad dreams huh ?”
Sam looked over and even though smile 103 (innocent but not too innocent) was on his face, his thoughts were racing.
Jamie ? Joanie ? Jesseb ?
“Jessica !”, he said quickly.
She smiled and flicked the cigarette into the small ashtray, “Jess, I like to be called Jess”
Shifting himself slightly under the covers he stole a sideways glance at the clock, 3:42am, he had been here far too long. Looking around the bed for his underwear and spoke to her, “Shouldn’t smoke in bed, could catch fire”
She laughed to herself as she exhaled, “Can’t play with fire and not get burned”
The smile was gone as he looked back to her and he knew in his mind, this was the last time he was seeing this one, “Fire isn’t to be played with….trust me on that”
He dressed in silence as he made his way out. Never failed, women were always the same.
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Dean Winchester felt the hand on his stomach, waking him from the deepest parts of sleep. And even though he was exhausted, and felt ready to die…the feeling of her touching him always made him want more.
Encircling his hand in hers he drew her close, feeling her warmth against his bare skin, “Hey you”, he said in sleepy smile.
“You awake ?”, she asked playfully.
He led her hand lower, “You tell me”
She laughed to herself as he turned around and pulled her even close, “I love you Mrs. Winchester”
She smiled a smile that was 40 percent love and 60 percent lust, “Show me Mr. Winchester”
So he did.
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That Sunday at his parent’s house the inevitable topic of Sam came up, which meant of course the Sunday afternoon BBQ was about to be ruined again.
“So hear from your no good brother lately ?”,his dad was about 4 beers past his 12 pack limit which meant Sammy had gone from Sam, to your brother was now the newly classified no good brother. In another 3 beers he would be your damned brother and if they waited around enough he would be your little fucking brother.
That was about the time Dean and Grace would scoop up the kids and leave.
“No dad I assume he’s still in Berkley”, he said taking a long sip of his own beer. He looked across the yard where Grace and his mother were talking and for about the millionth time wished his dad possessed even one tenth of the poise his mother did. Grace looked up and lifted her right eyebrow. Which was of course code for, time to go ?
Dean just shook his head and took another drink as his father rambled on, “No good hippie school. Waste of freaking money if you ask me…searching for Bigfoot for god’s sake !”
Dean sighed, nine times out of ten he would have let the jab go, but combination of too much sun, not enough beer and the lingering smell of smoke made him snap, “It’s not Bigfoot dad, its paranormal psychology and if you’re too drunk to remember he got there on scholarship. Not one precious cent of yours went into it. Why don’t you cut him a break already ?”
There was silence in the backyard as the two men stared at each other, like a bull and bullfighter. John’s eyes were bloodshot and dangerous, which was about where he was every weekend about this time. Dean knew his dad started drinking around 2pm Friday, even before they had closed their little mechanic shop for the day and didn’t stop until he passed out sometime Sunday evening. How his mom never left his sorry ass Dean would never understand, “He left us”, he said with a slight slur, never a good sign.
“You pushed him away dad, you pushed him out the door !”
“He wouldn’t stop going on and you know it ! You know it !! It was a god damned fire Dean, a fire and he goes on about…”
“Stop”
Both men turned to find Mary standing on the edge of the deck, her hands crossed against her chest. Though pushing late 50’s Mary had a beauty that could take a younger man’s breath away. Her anger was no less daunting, “John Winchester, you’ve had enough. You’re scaring our grandchildren and frankly boring the hell out of me”
Dean tried to hide the smirk behind his beer, it never failed to crack him up to hear his mother swear, “And you, stop goading him on. You always have to fight for your brother when you know if he wanted to be defended, he would be here to do it himself” Dean’s smirk fell as he realized this wasn’t just a scolding for his father, “Honestly, the two of you. Sam was a baby and the fire changed him and here you are, fighting about it. Let it go, let the whole thing go…please !”
The only sound was of Johnny and Mary playing on the swing set a few yards away. As always they had taken to silence when grandpa and dad got into it, there were no fools.
“Honey it’s getting late”, Grace said even though it was barely 2, “We should get going”
“Yeah, I think so”, Dean said not looking at his father as he set the beer down, “Good a time as any”
There was silence as the Winchesters gathered their kids and left.
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“So trick or treat ?”
Sam looked over the table and laughed as his friend Matt sat down dressed as Marge Simpson, blue hair and all.
“You know how I feel about Halloween Matt”, he said as he threw another shot down.
Matt took the foot and a half of blue hair off his head, “No..last night. The girl, was it trick or treat ?”
Sam chuckled a bit, which told Matt all he needed to hear, “Man treat again…how do you do it Sammy ?”
Sam gave him smile 78 (Devilish but with eyebrows lifted as too appear younger than he was), “I don’t know what you’re talking about”
They both laughed as the waitress brought Sam another round, “What you having large Marge ?”, she asked to Matt.
“I didn’t order this”, Sam said holding up the beer and shot.
“I know, she sent it”, gesturing towards the bar. Sam peered through the smoke and crowd and saw a trim little blond with short bangs and a leather jacket. She turned on her stool and smiled at him as she raised her glass. Sam shot back with smile 110 (mouth closed and eyes crinkled just enough to show amusement) and toasted her back.
“I have no idea how you do it”, Matt asked looking to the girl.
Sam looked back and just grinned, “Magic my dear boy…pure magic” He grabbed his beer and walked over to the girl of tonight.
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“You sure you don’t wanna come ?”
“No”, Dean said shaking his head too quickly. Grace looked down at the kids, Captain Jack Sparrow Jr and Nameless Princess with a ballerina tutu and smiled, “Why don’t you kids go out and wait with your aunt ?”
They both hugged their father and ran out in a screaming mass of adolescence, she looked back seriously, “Again with Halloween ?”
Dean squirmed in his socks as he rubbed the top of his head, he hated admitting this even to his wife.
Grace came up and put her hands around his waist and pulled him close. Though he dwarfed her by inches she still put his head on her shoulder, “Honey, it was a long time ago and kids LOVE Halloween. You’re going to have to get past this”
“I know”, he muttered into her hair and breathed in her scent. He loved her so much it hurt sometimes, “It’s just…”
“It just reminds you of Sam, I know. But your kids…you’re missing it”
She pulled back and looked into his green hazel eyes that were tinged with tears, “Don’t miss it Dean, don’t miss this.”
He just nodded and tried to smile, “Next year…I promise. I’ll go as a mechanic”
“Great, and I will have every wife on the block following you home”
“You could kick their ass”, he said putting his arms around her shoulder.
“Damn straight”, as she kissed him.
Don’t miss this was all he heard in his mind.
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“You always by strangers drinks ?”, he asked as he sat down next to her.
“Only the ones that are hot”, she almost purred back.
He gave her smile 14 (you are so thinking what I am thinking with just a hint of shock) and put his hand out, “Sam, pleased to meet you”
“Meg”, she said touching it then stroking his fingers, “Pleasure will be all mine”
His eyebrows shot into his bangs, he had never met a girl so bold before, “Where exactly do you think this is going ?”, he said trying to sound innocent and outraged.
She just smiled at him as she took a drink, “No way I’m telling you”
It was Halloween 2004, and the night was just starting.
To be continued…
Part Two
They almost broke the door as they rushed through it.
Their hands were everywhere, grabbing, pulling, groping. They were like two creatures trying to consume each other, which wasn’t far from the truth. He managed the slam the door closed behind them with his foot as she started to pull his shirt off. She paused for a moment to gape at the washboard abs the baggy shirt revealed. Tracing her fingers up his tight chest she growled in appreciation at a body well formed.
“Someone works out”, she said pushing him onto the huge canopy bed in the middle of his room.
“I get by”, he said almost tearing off her leather jacket and throwing it across the room. Sam knew he looked damn good but he found that he always got further with the humble approach than agreeing with women. Somehow that always worked.
Meg chuckled under her breath as she reached behind her back to undo her bra, “Humble doesn’t suit you at all hottie”
There was a moment of silence while Sam froze.
She started to look up with a question, she never saw Sam’s elbow connect neatly with her chin.
The dull thud echoed through the room as she rolled further onto the bed as Sam rolled off. With one hand on his jeans the other shot under the bed and felt the velvet rope tied to the undercarriage of the bed loop into his hand. He heard the movement of the bed as she tried to gather her wits about her. He pulled as hard as he could; the dark purple ceiling of the canopy jerked once and then flew across the room.
There was another dull thud as Meg bounced off an invisible wall, throwing her head over feet across the bed. Sam stared and gaped open mouthed as she threw herself at the barrier again and again, her eyes her dead black.
In a voice deeper and harsher than any twenty something blond girl could produce she screamed, “What have you done !! Release ME !!”
Sam said nothing as his heart jackrabbited in his chest. He sat there bare-chested for a long time, the same thought racing though his mind over and over, “I caught one, I caught an actual demon !!”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Grace and the kids were quiet as they could be coming into the house. They could see the television’s blue light throw shadows across the living room, the sleeping form of Dean Winchester asleep in the huge recliner was a common one after 7pm on a Sunday. John and Dean’s repair shop opened at the crack of dawn so rarely was a Sunday that Dean could get through 60 minutes without snoring.
“Come on guys, lets get changed and into bed. We can show your dad the candy later”, they crept up the stairs, a half awake pirate and a somewhat ruffled princess ballerina. They tried not to laugh too loud as they tried to silently race each other to their rooms.
Dean cracked a drowsy eyebrow open and noted them walking up the stairs. Part of his mind screamed for him to wake up, his heart rate started to accelerate s the growing feeling of dread and despair floated over him. But then a fact rose to his half awake brain that settled his fears and allowed him to drift back to sleep. His last waking thoughts was the simple motto of, “The kids were older than six months, they were ok”
And even though he had no idea what it meant, those words brought him a world of relief.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Sam paced his room as Meg seemed to pace the bed. She hadn’t taken her eyes off of him since he got up. She looked like a wild cat trapped in a glass cage.
“How did you do this ?”, she finally asked.
Sam looked back to her, this thought returning from whatever distant shore they had fled to. He pointed up to the ceiling and she saw the intricate design of lines and runes that were squarely over his bed, “Called the Devil’s Trap. Had a friend of mine draw it there last semester”, he laughed to himself, “Never thought I’d have to use it”
“Cute…you think this will hold me ?”, she said arching an eyebrow.
More to himself than to her, “I know it will, it’s unbreakable”
Her voice instantly changed, “Come on Sammy, don’t be like this. You know you don’t believe in all this witchcraft stuff”
“You read my mind. You read my mind when we walked in the door”, he couldn’t believe it himself.
“You don’t believe that”, she more said than asked.
He sat down in the chair across from the bed and looked at her, “I didn’t until now, you’re right. I spent my whole life looking for…there was a fire”
She seemed to pull back a little at that, “Come on Sam, this isn’t funny”
“No, not funny…I agree”, he got up and went over to his dresser. He started to dig through his top drawer, displacing underwear and boxes of condoms. She continued to plead with him, but it seemed to have no effect whatsoever.
Finally he pulled out a small leather bound journal, something he hadn’t touched since he was 14. He turned to her with it, as he flipped through the pages looking for something.
Meg curled up to the invisible wall, her voice becoming almost hypnotically seductive, “Samm….Sammmyyy….let me out”
And something in Sam’s mind seemed to pull him towards the bed, he felt his resolve and dedication start to melt like an ice cube against a flame. He almost dropped the book and went towards her but his eyes went down to the book and the word on the paper broke whatever spell she had cast and he stopped moving. He looked back up to her and he could tell she was shocked he had stopped moving. They stared at each other for a moment, both in their own world of shock. Finally he looked down at the page again and then looked up at her.
“Christo”
She reeled back from the edge of the bed and collided with the other invisible wall behind her. She looked like a cat fleeing water.
“Christo”
She put her hands over her ears and started to scream something in a language Sam had never heard before.
“Christo”
Her eyes, now almost insect black, bulging out of her sockets, “WHAT DO YOU WANT ?”
Sam just smiled, a real smile this time and sat down again.
“So Meg….tell me about the fire”
“What fire ?”, she said trying miserably to sound innocent.
“Christo”
Another soul breaking scream that rebounded across the room.
“Again. Tell me about the fire”
She looked at him with eyes of pure hatred and loathing.
“I have all night Meg. And honestly, do you think I haven’t seen that look from women before ? The fire…”
“You’re going to re…”
“Christo”
Another howl.
“The fire…”
She sat there for a moment, head down, sweat pouring across her face. Finally she looked up in exhaustion and more than a little defeat. She took a deep breath, “It was the night you were six months old…”
She didn’t stop talking for three hours.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Dean stumbled his way up the stairs after midnight, he vaguely remembered something about Grace and the kids coming in but the whole thing was like a dream. He opened each of the kids doors and placed one hand on their face before going to his room. He didn’t turn on the light for fear of waking Grace. As he slipped off his shirt and jeans. As he lied back in bed he thought he saw a figure hanging from the ceiling for a moment and his blood went cold. He started to scream at the top of his lungs as grace turned on the light and tried to shake him fully awake.
Dean came too and looked around his bedroom. The kids were at the door and Grace was staring at him in what could only be undiluted shock. They were terrified which was nothing to what he was feeling. For just a moment he sat there on the bed in shock. The only thought going through his mind was, “Who the hell were these people ?”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Sam was gathering his stuff into his satchel as she sat on the bed pleading with him, “You can’t change anything Sam. It won’t do any good”
He ignored her as he threw clothes and supplies into the bag with one hand, the other repeatingly dialing Dean’s number in Lawrence. The female computer telling him all circuits were down was only making him angrier and angrier.
“What do you thing you can do Sam ? One person ? Against the forces of evil ? What do you expect to accomplish ?’
He shoved the phone into his pocket as he shouldered the bag over his shoulder, “Whatever I can”
He started walking towards the door as she called out, “How the hell am I supposed to get out of here ?”, she said gesturing around the bed.
Sam gave her smile 10 (too much devil for his own good with just a tinge of amusement), “No way I’m telling you”
He could hear her screams all the way out of the dorm.
To be continued…
Part Three
The night road stretched out before him into the night.
Sam was gunning the jet black, 1967 Implala, his brother and him had fixed up the year he went off to college. The adrenaline from Meg was wearing off so the industrial strength gas station coffee he had bought better do the trick. It was a day to Lawrence from where he was and no matter how many times he hit redial, he couldn’t get Dean or his parents house.
He gunned the car even faster. If half of what Meg told him was right, he was going to be too late.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The moment had passed as quickly as it had come and Dean felt like shit.
He sat at the kitchen table, Grace looking through his head as he milked the cup of coffee in his hand. No matter how much he put in the machine, it never came out strong enough for him.
“You going to tell me what all that was about ?”
Dean tried not to look up, knowing that Grace was just starting and the question didn’t really have an answer.
“You scared me and the lids half to death, listen to me Dean”, her hand hit the table, spilling his coffee out of the cup.
Dean looked up to her and once again that strange disconnected feeling came over him. He could see her, Grace Winchester, his wife and love of his life, but there was another part, another part of him that knew he was sitting at the kitchen table with a complete stranger, “I’m all ears”
She sighed as she got up and stomped out of the room, her legendary patience running thin. He heard her go upstairs as he mulled over his cup of not coffee, he looked over to the phone for a moment as if he had heard it ring. As he walked across the kitchen floor in his socks he had another intense flash of déjà vu, a feeling he had done this before.
He picked up the phone hesitantly and out it to his ear, “Hello ?”
No dial tone, bled out static and a small tinny voice that if he had to swear on was Sam. It was screaming it’s little cartoon mouse voice over the static, he couldn’t make a word out but the tone was plain as day. It was a tone that the brother’s were all too familiar with. A tone that seemed to follow them no matter where they went.
Trouble.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
“Dean !!”, Sam yelled into his cell, “DEAN YOU’RE IN TROUBLE !! DEAN !!”
The line sounded like it picked up but he could hear nothing on the other end. And though his foot was to the floor, Sam managed to erg out a small amount of acceleration out of the old girl. It was no longer a theory, his brother was in trouble, and he was going to be too late.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Dean slipped on his mechanic jumpsuit as Grace sat on the bed and watched. He forced his reactions to be normal, to be natural. He put it on as he had a hundred times before, yet for some reason it grabbed and pulled in every little place. It was as if he had never put it on before.
“Was this always so small ?’, he asked out loud as he fought with one of the legs.
“Well you usually don’t wear boxers under it”, Grace said turning on the TV.
“Little tight to go commando isn’t it ?”
“You never seemed to mind”, as she changed the channel.
Sighing he took the uniform off and started to shuck his boxers, that was when he saw the fire on TV, “Turn that up !”, he said almost tripping over his own underwear.
“Reports are coming in now, it seems the fire started somewhere in the student dorm section and spread to the rest of the building. Police are now trying to contain the fire before it claims more of the historical Berkley campus. The fire chief is putting the death toll in the hundreds since the fire started at night, while most of the students were sleeping. To recap, a five alarm fire has claimed the lives on hundreds of UC Berkeley students last night as a dorm fire ran out of control….”
“Oh Dean”, Grace said throwing down the remote and putting her hands around his shoulders, “Baby you think he’s ok ?”
Dean barely held her back as he watched his brother’s dorm go up in flames. He looked over to the phone again and wondered.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
“Ma’am are you sure you’re ok ?”
The fireman watched the young blond girl walk around the fire in wonder. He assumed she was in shock but as the ceiling collapsed he could swear he saw a smile race past her face before she realized he was watching her, “I’m great, just great”, she said moving towards him, “What time is it anyways ?”
The young man looked down and uncovered his watch from the bulky outfit all firefights wore. When he looked up to tell her it was past 5am she was gone, the blanket that was on her shoulders lying discarded on the pavement. For no reason he could pinpoint, the young man was glad to see her go, though he wasn’t envious to wherever she may be going.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Sam almost fell asleep going to the bathroom. He felt the cold tile against his forehead and jerked himself awake, leaning in at the rest stop urinal. He shook his head awake and zipped up his pants. The coffee wasn’t doing the trick.
Washing his hands he saw his reflection in the old, broken mirror and saw another Sam looking back at him. It wasn’t his long hair, pulled back as was the fashion on campus. He didn’t see the knitted poncho some crafts girl had made him the winter before draped over his shoulders making him seem more the wanderer than he really was. Instead his hair was shorter, and bangs in his yes. He was wearing some kind of leather jacket and he would swear he saw the bulge of a gun under his shoulder. It was a somber Sam, a Sam without laugh lines or that playful gleam in his eyes. It was a different Sam altogether, a fake Sam, if he had to place money a lie of a Sam. But as soon the thoughts crossed his mind these words came out of his mouth, “They reveal all your lies, all your secrets, that they’re a true reflection of your soul, which is why it’s bad luck to break them”
“Mirrors don’t lie”, he said to no one.
“They can’t”, said the Sam in the mirror.
Sam’s head jerked up from the urinal. He cussed as he tumbled backwards, his legs getting caught on his still open jeans. His head hit the tile floor hard, the impact echoing in the empty bathroom.
The pain helped wake him up some but it only increased the feeling he was still dreaming.
What the hell was going on here ?, he thought to himself.
Paying for the gas and food Sam threw his stuff into the car and started it up, he clicked in the tape and peeled out as the music started. He had to get to Lawrence like now.
He looked behind him in the rear view mirror just to make sure there were no cops on his tail, instead all he saw was a pair of blue eyes narrowed in anger.
“Miss me ?”, Meg said as she reached out from the backseat to Sam.
From the outside it simply looked like the car veered off the road and through the fence.
To be continued…
Part Four
Sam blinked twice and then shook his head clear.
It took a huge amount of control not to look in the rear view mirror again. Somehow he was back 30 seconds before the crash. He still felt the heat of the flame and the gash on his cheek bleeding like a stuck pig. But he also knew none of that had happened…yet. He knew what was about to happen, so he decided to change the rules. Instead he gunned the Impala until it was nearly redlined. He heard something hit the back seat with a muffled gasp. Then as quickly as it jumped into action, the car screamed to a halt as he slammed on the brakes..
Sam closed his eyes as he felt the seat belt cut into his chest.
The sound of the body flying past him and breaking the front windhsield was music to his ears.
He saw Meg’s body roll off the hood and into the road in front of him. The headlights framed the look of shock and outrage on her face. It was nothing compared to when she heard the wheels screech as the car leapt foward again towards her.
The wet thump was even more satisfying than the glass breaking he thought to himself.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
“What do you think you can do ?”, the tone of Grace’s voice had grown higher and higher with the amount of clothes Dean threw into his duffel bad. He was ignoring her. He was ignoring everything. He only knew one thing and one thing only.
His brother was in trouble and he needed to help him.
It brought a clarity to his mind that seemed…familiar.
He knew who he was and that he had a mission. Their mission. The mission.
That phrase kept tumbling over and over in his mind, like an unbuckled passenger caught in the middle of a car wreck. He had no control over it, but it was there, and it meant something.
“Are you listening to me ?”, her hand was on his shoulder, her face next to his.
And there it was again, the duality of this wealth of emotions and memories that told him that this was his wife and he was madly in love with her. There were images of his kids birthdays, first tooth, how brave she was in the hospital, everything that made them real.
And the other thought that told him he had no idea who this woman was.
“No”, was all he said grabbing his bag and pulling his shoulder away.
“Dean it was a fire, a fire what are you going to do ?”, he started to yell as he made his way down the stairs, “What are you going to do that the fire department isn’t ? Why can’t you see ? HE IS PROBABLY ALREADY DEAD !!”
And he stopped.
She stopped too when she saw the look in his eyes as he looked up the stairs at her. The kids were rubbing their eyes wondering what all the fuss was about. And as they clung to their mother’s arms wondering why dad was dressed like he was moving Dean just glared at her.
The hate was like a cold bucket of water in his face.
“He isn’t dead”, was all he said as he slammed the door behind him.
He didn’t know where he was going, but he knew he no longer belonged there.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Sam slammed shut the glove compartment and stepped out of the car. Meg was still lying face down in the middle of the road.
“You can get up, I’m not getting any closer”, he said a good 50 feet from her.
Like a figure in strings she floated upwards until she as standing upright again, “And you seemed so into me at the bar”, her sneer was more natural than her smile he thought.
“Yeah I was thinking with my little head”, he said waiting.
“Didn’t look so small to me”, she said floating towards him.
His sneer matched hers, “You should see my brother”, and he threw it.
The holy water hit her dead in the face, smoke starting to seep through her fingers as she clawed at the liquid dripping into her shirt.
Every part of Sam wanted to run and take off in the car. It wanted to run away from her and back to his nice and normal life in Berkeley. He wanted to see that Jess girl again and more than anything, he wanted to hear his brother’s voice. He wanted all of that so much more than he wanted to be standing here facing off a demon.
Though he had to admit it felt kind of familiar.
He advanced on her screaming form, baseball bat over one shoulder, “I played second base on in high school, how’s my swing ?”
Her head made a satisfying thud as she rolled across the lanes of asphalt.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Dean walked up the city street in darkness.
It was barely 5am and only the paper man and the doughnut shop was open. But somehow he knew she would be waiting for him.
She was standing on her front door step, cup of black coffee in one hand, “Well come on Dean Winchester, I don’t have all day for you to figure it out !’
He smiled despite himself. He took the coffee as he dropped the bag in her front doorway, “Morning Missouri”
“Shut up boy, and don’t even give me that I only need the cliff notes crap. You’re in a lot more trouble than you think and we haven’t got much time”
“I have to find…”, he started.
“Boy, you ain’t gonna do your brother no good if you don’t know what’s going on !”
He sighed and bit down the harsh words that seemed to bubble up against his will, “And what’s going…”
“This ain’t real Dean…you aren’t even here !”
He stopped mid-sip and looked at her, “Then where am I ?”
“Well that’s the question, isn’t it ?”
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
H-how did you know I was in the backseat , she said trying to crawl away from Sam.
Sam hit the back of her head again, Magic
Truth was he didn't know. it was as if he saw the start of a movie and then found himself sitting at the credits. There was a slight pain in his head, like he ate too much ice cream too fast. But it was fading, unlike his feeling of unease.
She made a grunting sound and coughed blood into the asphalt, Why are you following me ?
She looked back at him, blood flowing from her mouth, making her smile look more like a Halloween mask than actual flesh and blood, No way I'm telling...
He hit her again. He had suddenly reemebered how much he hated Halloween all over again.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I'm not here ? , Dean asked scratching his head in confusion.
No, you’re here, you just think I'm here. I am a manifestation of our subconscious mind trying to tell you what's going on , she walking slowly around him.
A what of my what ?
She smacked him in the back of the head, Don't act the fool boy, you know what I said. Why you have this need to play dumb all the time ?
Dean rubbed the back of his head, For a dream you hit too damn hard
So you think this is a dream ? , she said stopping and looking at him.
Dean thought about for a moment, No
Then what is it ?
A nightmare , he said looking at some far off point. He swore he could hear Sam's voice, Sam ! , he called out, trying to focus his attention on the feeling of his brother. It was like he was just down the street yet so much farther away. The feeling this was some kind of a nightmare increased, like when time and distance rubberbanded in a dream. The feeling of not moving but going somewhere very fast at the same time.
It was his father's voice that broke any chance of concentration, I thought I told you never to come here again , Dean looked up in more outrage than shock, And I know I told you to leave my boys alone”, as he pointed at Missouri.
The feeling that Sam was close by left as quickly as it came.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Sam stopped mid-swing, the faint sound of his brother's voice shot a spark straight up his spine, Dean !! , he called out into the darkness.
He saw a figure start to walk out of the underbrush by the side of the road.
Dean !! , Sam yelled running over to the figure. He almost dropped the bat in relief as the figure opened it’s arms at Dean. He dropped the bat in shock as he felt a hand grip around his throat.
What did you do to my sister ? , the figure said lifting Sam off the ground with one hand effortlessly.
Wrong brother , was all Sam heard Meg say behind him as he blacked out.
To be continued...
Part Five
“Dad”, Dean said moving himself between Missouri and John. He looked slightly drunk and incredibly mad. Dean couldn’t say he didn’t know why.
When Sammy had hit 13 he had become obsessed with the fire that almost claimed Mary and his own life. He was sure that it wasn’t a normal fire and that somehow it was paranormal in nature. It was a theory that didn’t get much support in the Winchester house, so Sammy looked elsewhere. He found Missouri.
She had set him on the path of the unexplained that lived among us, a path that eventually led Sam to Berkley and to study the unexplained and unknown. A path that led away from the Winchester family altogether. John had threatened Sam with everything from financial starvation to disowning him outright. Nothing had swayed Sammy from leaving. So nothing had swayed from John blaming Missouri.
“You ran one of my son’s off, you trying for another ?”, he said walking dangerously towards the woman.
“John Winchester you know better than this”, she called over Dean’s shoulder, “I know you want her back but this isn’t the way !!”
“What is she going on about Dean ?”, he said through gritted teeth.
“Dad, Sam’s in trouble. We don’t have time for this”
“I’m not going to let her ruin your life like she did with Sam. She isn’t going to lead someone else down that damned path that you can’t get off of. It’s a darkness Dean, a darkness that traps you there forever. You never get off that path, stay off that path”
“Dad, Missouri didn’t lead me down that path”, Dean said edging towards his father. He got close enough to notice he wasn’t drunk, he was tired, tired and angry. He put his hand gently on his father’s shoulder, “It was you, it was you she out on that path, not Sam. We followed you. You have to remember”
John closed his eyes for a moment, like a drowning man trying to find some footing. And again Dean could hear it, Sam’s yelling. This time he knew his father did also.
“Sam ?”, dean called out again. His father though looked right at Missouri, “You’re doing this”, and he started to slid something out from under his coat, “You’re making us hear that”
“John Winchester don’t you dare…”, she said taking a few steps back in panic as the gun came out from it’s holster.
“DAD ! NO !!”, Dean screamed as he leapt at his dad.
They both fought for the barrel in the confusion. A deadly dance with the end of a gun as the focus. They were both screaming at the other one at the top of their lungs, but both had the wind knocked out of them as the gun went off.
Both sat there for a moment in shock, not moving. It was the slow drip of blood from the wound that made them both look down as a puddle began to form.
“You shot me”, was all John could say as he dropped the gun and fell over. The wound went through the top of his thigh, ripping through the denim and exiting the other side. He grasped his leg as if it was one fire. Dean looked at the gun as if it was a snake.
“Dean ?”, Missouri asked him.
“Dean ?”, his dad begged him.
“Dean”, he heard his brother whisper to him.
Without thinking he turned and pointed the gun out at nothing.
“Sammy”, he said under his breath and fired.
No one saw where the bullet disappeared to.
Sam was losing consciousness. The world was withdrawing into a small little point in the distance and was growing smaller. He couldn’t feel his legs and more and his arms were well on their way. He couldn’t inhale but with his last breath he uttered the only prayer had known to work since he was a child.
“d-dean”, was the ragged call.
Seconds later a bullet came flying out of nowhere and embedded itself into the man’s forehead. The look of shock sat there for a long moment and then, like a tree falling, he slowly went over and down. His hand finally giving up the grip it had on Sam. Both of them collapsing in a heap, one moving towards death and the other moving towards life again. Somehow this all felt familiar.
“Wh-what did you do ?”, Meg screamed at Sam’s prone body, “What the fuck did you do to my brother !!”
Sam could only half chuckle as he massaged air back down his throat. He couldn’t move and there were still black spots in his eyes, but he wasn’t worried any more. He knew, he knew what she didn’t.
Dean was coming.
“What the hell…”, John said looking up from the floor.
“You were right”, Dean said ignoring his dad, looking to Missouri, “This isn’t real”
“It’s as real as you make it, as real as you want it to be”
Dean looked down at his dad, “It gave him mom, me a wife…and Sammy…what did it give Sammy ?”
“What do you think would make Sam happy ?”, she asked knowing he already knew the answer.
“Finding out what happened that night”, he said more to himself.
“And what do you want more now than a family and your mother ?”
“Sam”, he said looking out across the distance, “Sam”, he said with even more force.
A hole started to open up in front of him. It shimmered like water, it’s surface black and hidden. He stepped over his father’s body as he walked into the portal.
“Dean, don’t leave…”, he started.
“We never left dad you, we just stopped following you”, and he was gone.
Meg grabbed Sam by the back of his head, pulling him up by his hair, “How the hell did you do that ?”
Sam croaked out an unintelligible response, his throat still on fire from being manhandled. She tossed him down the road like he was a rag doll, he skipped twice off the asphalt and slammed into the Impala’s car door. He heard her heels clocking off the tarmac as she came towards him.
“Sweetheart that car is a classic”, and the cocking of a gun. Sam looked up and Meg turned around to see Dean standing in the middle of the road, gun leveled at Meg’s eye, “And damned if I am going to see you fuck it up”, and he fired. The wet think as she spun with the bullet echoed off into the night. Her body hit the ground as smoke rose from the place where her eye once sat, “That and I am kinda fond of the kid also”.
Putting the gun away he ran over and knelt down next to Sam, checking his younger brother for injury. Sam put one hand on Dean’s arm and smiled, “Took you long enough”, he managed to force out.
Dean smiled grimly as he helped him up, “I had a few issues to deal with before I knew what I wanted”
Sam leaned up against the car watching Meg’s body fade away, “And what do you want ?”, he asked.
Dean looked around, the endless road that stretched off to nowhere, no destination the last. His car that would take him to where he needed to go and his brother. Who would be with him no matter how apart they were. And for the first time in a long time, Dean felt at peace with his life and the choices he made. He looked over his head and saw Sam, the smile on his face told him all he needed to know.
“I want to get back on the road”, he put an arm around Sam, “I want to get back to killing every bastard I can find…you with me ?”
Sam looked around, he was no closer to finding the thing that killed Jess or his mom or why it came after him. But he had a road, he had a car and he had his brother. And the smile on Dean’s face told him all he needed to know.
“Yeah, I got exactly what I need”
As they got into the car and drove off, they had no idea where they were heading, but they had known where they had been. As long as they were together they could figure out the rest.
Epilogue
The image of Missouri shimmered and reformed itself as the silhouette of a dark man. It knelt down to the prone body of John, his voice like a cold winter wind, “Well, well, well, look at that. Given everything in the world they wanted, they still find each other and leave you John, what kind of father does that make you ? So how many times do we have to go through this John ?”
John Winchester tried to crawl away from the man, but the pain in his leg was too much, “This is how it ends Johhny boy. You alone, begging for an end, and your boys leaving you far away in the dust. How many times is this ? And each time they don’t choose you, what’s that say ?”
“T-they won’t…”, he said still trying to move himself.
“Oh they will”, the shadowed man said laughing, “It’s the only thing they really want. Is this how you want it to end John ? You by yourself while your kids ride off into the sunset…is this how it is going to end John ?”
And there, exhausted, bleeding and out of his mind John collapsed. He just gave up, “Fine”, was all he said.
That was more than enough for the shadow to move into him.
The demon and the man both gasped as they felt the power rush through them.
Sam woke with a gasp.
Sitting completely upright he sat there, panting into the darkness of the room. For a moment he didn’t know where he was or what was going on.
But as with most nights it was the sound of his brother that brought him back to reality.
“Bad dreams ?”
Sam looked over to Dean, sitting up in the corner, laptop on his lap.
“Yeah”, he said shaking his head as he sat on the side of the bed.
“Jess ?”
“No, was more…”, and the images dissolved like a mist from the morning sun. Glimaces of Meg and their dad all faded into the nirmal background noice where all dreams seem to go once forgotten.
“More what ?”, Dean asked leaning forward.
“I don’t know”, Sam said trying to grab at what he could, “You ever wonder…”
And then silence.
“I ever wonder what ?”
And Sam looked at him, “Ever wonder what it would be like if mom lived and we had a normal life ?”
Sam could see the echo in Dean’s eyes, but as quickly as it appeared it faded, “Nope”, and he went back to the computer.
“Never ?”, Sam asked not beleiving.
“Nope, what the hell would I do if I couldn’t do this ?”
Sam laughed and shook his head, “You could be a mechanic or something”
Without even looking up he said, “Nah those damn jumpsuits were too tight”
And they looked at each other for a long moment.
They shook their heads and went back to looking for their father.
It was the only thing they really wanted."
Author: usmc75
Rating: PG
Fandom: Supernatural
Characters/Pairing: Sam/Dean
Feedback: Yes Please!! Anything constructive is always welcome!
Disclaimer: Don’t own them. But boy would I like to!!
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Robert Frost
Part One
It was the smoke, no matter how old he got, he never forgot the smoke.
Even now, years away the smell of smoke and cinder can cause a chill to his spine. Not all smoke, just a certain kind. Some wood, little bit of paint…he always knew if there was a fire nearby because his heart would race and his breath would be ragged. No matter how old he got, it was always the smoke.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sam woke with a gasp.
Sitting completely upright he sat there, panting into the darkness of the room. For a moment he didn’t know where he was or what was going on.
But as with most nights it was the sound of a strange woman that brought him back to reality.
“Bad dreams huh ?”
Sam looked over and even though smile 103 (innocent but not too innocent) was on his face, his thoughts were racing.
Jamie ? Joanie ? Jesseb ?
“Jessica !”, he said quickly.
She smiled and flicked the cigarette into the small ashtray, “Jess, I like to be called Jess”
Shifting himself slightly under the covers he stole a sideways glance at the clock, 3:42am, he had been here far too long. Looking around the bed for his underwear and spoke to her, “Shouldn’t smoke in bed, could catch fire”
She laughed to herself as she exhaled, “Can’t play with fire and not get burned”
The smile was gone as he looked back to her and he knew in his mind, this was the last time he was seeing this one, “Fire isn’t to be played with….trust me on that”
He dressed in silence as he made his way out. Never failed, women were always the same.
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Dean Winchester felt the hand on his stomach, waking him from the deepest parts of sleep. And even though he was exhausted, and felt ready to die…the feeling of her touching him always made him want more.
Encircling his hand in hers he drew her close, feeling her warmth against his bare skin, “Hey you”, he said in sleepy smile.
“You awake ?”, she asked playfully.
He led her hand lower, “You tell me”
She laughed to herself as he turned around and pulled her even close, “I love you Mrs. Winchester”
She smiled a smile that was 40 percent love and 60 percent lust, “Show me Mr. Winchester”
So he did.
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That Sunday at his parent’s house the inevitable topic of Sam came up, which meant of course the Sunday afternoon BBQ was about to be ruined again.
“So hear from your no good brother lately ?”,his dad was about 4 beers past his 12 pack limit which meant Sammy had gone from Sam, to your brother was now the newly classified no good brother. In another 3 beers he would be your damned brother and if they waited around enough he would be your little fucking brother.
That was about the time Dean and Grace would scoop up the kids and leave.
“No dad I assume he’s still in Berkley”, he said taking a long sip of his own beer. He looked across the yard where Grace and his mother were talking and for about the millionth time wished his dad possessed even one tenth of the poise his mother did. Grace looked up and lifted her right eyebrow. Which was of course code for, time to go ?
Dean just shook his head and took another drink as his father rambled on, “No good hippie school. Waste of freaking money if you ask me…searching for Bigfoot for god’s sake !”
Dean sighed, nine times out of ten he would have let the jab go, but combination of too much sun, not enough beer and the lingering smell of smoke made him snap, “It’s not Bigfoot dad, its paranormal psychology and if you’re too drunk to remember he got there on scholarship. Not one precious cent of yours went into it. Why don’t you cut him a break already ?”
There was silence in the backyard as the two men stared at each other, like a bull and bullfighter. John’s eyes were bloodshot and dangerous, which was about where he was every weekend about this time. Dean knew his dad started drinking around 2pm Friday, even before they had closed their little mechanic shop for the day and didn’t stop until he passed out sometime Sunday evening. How his mom never left his sorry ass Dean would never understand, “He left us”, he said with a slight slur, never a good sign.
“You pushed him away dad, you pushed him out the door !”
“He wouldn’t stop going on and you know it ! You know it !! It was a god damned fire Dean, a fire and he goes on about…”
“Stop”
Both men turned to find Mary standing on the edge of the deck, her hands crossed against her chest. Though pushing late 50’s Mary had a beauty that could take a younger man’s breath away. Her anger was no less daunting, “John Winchester, you’ve had enough. You’re scaring our grandchildren and frankly boring the hell out of me”
Dean tried to hide the smirk behind his beer, it never failed to crack him up to hear his mother swear, “And you, stop goading him on. You always have to fight for your brother when you know if he wanted to be defended, he would be here to do it himself” Dean’s smirk fell as he realized this wasn’t just a scolding for his father, “Honestly, the two of you. Sam was a baby and the fire changed him and here you are, fighting about it. Let it go, let the whole thing go…please !”
The only sound was of Johnny and Mary playing on the swing set a few yards away. As always they had taken to silence when grandpa and dad got into it, there were no fools.
“Honey it’s getting late”, Grace said even though it was barely 2, “We should get going”
“Yeah, I think so”, Dean said not looking at his father as he set the beer down, “Good a time as any”
There was silence as the Winchesters gathered their kids and left.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“So trick or treat ?”
Sam looked over the table and laughed as his friend Matt sat down dressed as Marge Simpson, blue hair and all.
“You know how I feel about Halloween Matt”, he said as he threw another shot down.
Matt took the foot and a half of blue hair off his head, “No..last night. The girl, was it trick or treat ?”
Sam chuckled a bit, which told Matt all he needed to hear, “Man treat again…how do you do it Sammy ?”
Sam gave him smile 78 (Devilish but with eyebrows lifted as too appear younger than he was), “I don’t know what you’re talking about”
They both laughed as the waitress brought Sam another round, “What you having large Marge ?”, she asked to Matt.
“I didn’t order this”, Sam said holding up the beer and shot.
“I know, she sent it”, gesturing towards the bar. Sam peered through the smoke and crowd and saw a trim little blond with short bangs and a leather jacket. She turned on her stool and smiled at him as she raised her glass. Sam shot back with smile 110 (mouth closed and eyes crinkled just enough to show amusement) and toasted her back.
“I have no idea how you do it”, Matt asked looking to the girl.
Sam looked back and just grinned, “Magic my dear boy…pure magic” He grabbed his beer and walked over to the girl of tonight.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“You sure you don’t wanna come ?”
“No”, Dean said shaking his head too quickly. Grace looked down at the kids, Captain Jack Sparrow Jr and Nameless Princess with a ballerina tutu and smiled, “Why don’t you kids go out and wait with your aunt ?”
They both hugged their father and ran out in a screaming mass of adolescence, she looked back seriously, “Again with Halloween ?”
Dean squirmed in his socks as he rubbed the top of his head, he hated admitting this even to his wife.
Grace came up and put her hands around his waist and pulled him close. Though he dwarfed her by inches she still put his head on her shoulder, “Honey, it was a long time ago and kids LOVE Halloween. You’re going to have to get past this”
“I know”, he muttered into her hair and breathed in her scent. He loved her so much it hurt sometimes, “It’s just…”
“It just reminds you of Sam, I know. But your kids…you’re missing it”
She pulled back and looked into his green hazel eyes that were tinged with tears, “Don’t miss it Dean, don’t miss this.”
He just nodded and tried to smile, “Next year…I promise. I’ll go as a mechanic”
“Great, and I will have every wife on the block following you home”
“You could kick their ass”, he said putting his arms around her shoulder.
“Damn straight”, as she kissed him.
Don’t miss this was all he heard in his mind.
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“You always by strangers drinks ?”, he asked as he sat down next to her.
“Only the ones that are hot”, she almost purred back.
He gave her smile 14 (you are so thinking what I am thinking with just a hint of shock) and put his hand out, “Sam, pleased to meet you”
“Meg”, she said touching it then stroking his fingers, “Pleasure will be all mine”
His eyebrows shot into his bangs, he had never met a girl so bold before, “Where exactly do you think this is going ?”, he said trying to sound innocent and outraged.
She just smiled at him as she took a drink, “No way I’m telling you”
It was Halloween 2004, and the night was just starting.
To be continued…
Part Two
They almost broke the door as they rushed through it.
Their hands were everywhere, grabbing, pulling, groping. They were like two creatures trying to consume each other, which wasn’t far from the truth. He managed the slam the door closed behind them with his foot as she started to pull his shirt off. She paused for a moment to gape at the washboard abs the baggy shirt revealed. Tracing her fingers up his tight chest she growled in appreciation at a body well formed.
“Someone works out”, she said pushing him onto the huge canopy bed in the middle of his room.
“I get by”, he said almost tearing off her leather jacket and throwing it across the room. Sam knew he looked damn good but he found that he always got further with the humble approach than agreeing with women. Somehow that always worked.
Meg chuckled under her breath as she reached behind her back to undo her bra, “Humble doesn’t suit you at all hottie”
There was a moment of silence while Sam froze.
She started to look up with a question, she never saw Sam’s elbow connect neatly with her chin.
The dull thud echoed through the room as she rolled further onto the bed as Sam rolled off. With one hand on his jeans the other shot under the bed and felt the velvet rope tied to the undercarriage of the bed loop into his hand. He heard the movement of the bed as she tried to gather her wits about her. He pulled as hard as he could; the dark purple ceiling of the canopy jerked once and then flew across the room.
There was another dull thud as Meg bounced off an invisible wall, throwing her head over feet across the bed. Sam stared and gaped open mouthed as she threw herself at the barrier again and again, her eyes her dead black.
In a voice deeper and harsher than any twenty something blond girl could produce she screamed, “What have you done !! Release ME !!”
Sam said nothing as his heart jackrabbited in his chest. He sat there bare-chested for a long time, the same thought racing though his mind over and over, “I caught one, I caught an actual demon !!”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Grace and the kids were quiet as they could be coming into the house. They could see the television’s blue light throw shadows across the living room, the sleeping form of Dean Winchester asleep in the huge recliner was a common one after 7pm on a Sunday. John and Dean’s repair shop opened at the crack of dawn so rarely was a Sunday that Dean could get through 60 minutes without snoring.
“Come on guys, lets get changed and into bed. We can show your dad the candy later”, they crept up the stairs, a half awake pirate and a somewhat ruffled princess ballerina. They tried not to laugh too loud as they tried to silently race each other to their rooms.
Dean cracked a drowsy eyebrow open and noted them walking up the stairs. Part of his mind screamed for him to wake up, his heart rate started to accelerate s the growing feeling of dread and despair floated over him. But then a fact rose to his half awake brain that settled his fears and allowed him to drift back to sleep. His last waking thoughts was the simple motto of, “The kids were older than six months, they were ok”
And even though he had no idea what it meant, those words brought him a world of relief.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Sam paced his room as Meg seemed to pace the bed. She hadn’t taken her eyes off of him since he got up. She looked like a wild cat trapped in a glass cage.
“How did you do this ?”, she finally asked.
Sam looked back to her, this thought returning from whatever distant shore they had fled to. He pointed up to the ceiling and she saw the intricate design of lines and runes that were squarely over his bed, “Called the Devil’s Trap. Had a friend of mine draw it there last semester”, he laughed to himself, “Never thought I’d have to use it”
“Cute…you think this will hold me ?”, she said arching an eyebrow.
More to himself than to her, “I know it will, it’s unbreakable”
Her voice instantly changed, “Come on Sammy, don’t be like this. You know you don’t believe in all this witchcraft stuff”
“You read my mind. You read my mind when we walked in the door”, he couldn’t believe it himself.
“You don’t believe that”, she more said than asked.
He sat down in the chair across from the bed and looked at her, “I didn’t until now, you’re right. I spent my whole life looking for…there was a fire”
She seemed to pull back a little at that, “Come on Sam, this isn’t funny”
“No, not funny…I agree”, he got up and went over to his dresser. He started to dig through his top drawer, displacing underwear and boxes of condoms. She continued to plead with him, but it seemed to have no effect whatsoever.
Finally he pulled out a small leather bound journal, something he hadn’t touched since he was 14. He turned to her with it, as he flipped through the pages looking for something.
Meg curled up to the invisible wall, her voice becoming almost hypnotically seductive, “Samm….Sammmyyy….let me out”
And something in Sam’s mind seemed to pull him towards the bed, he felt his resolve and dedication start to melt like an ice cube against a flame. He almost dropped the book and went towards her but his eyes went down to the book and the word on the paper broke whatever spell she had cast and he stopped moving. He looked back up to her and he could tell she was shocked he had stopped moving. They stared at each other for a moment, both in their own world of shock. Finally he looked down at the page again and then looked up at her.
“Christo”
She reeled back from the edge of the bed and collided with the other invisible wall behind her. She looked like a cat fleeing water.
“Christo”
She put her hands over her ears and started to scream something in a language Sam had never heard before.
“Christo”
Her eyes, now almost insect black, bulging out of her sockets, “WHAT DO YOU WANT ?”
Sam just smiled, a real smile this time and sat down again.
“So Meg….tell me about the fire”
“What fire ?”, she said trying miserably to sound innocent.
“Christo”
Another soul breaking scream that rebounded across the room.
“Again. Tell me about the fire”
She looked at him with eyes of pure hatred and loathing.
“I have all night Meg. And honestly, do you think I haven’t seen that look from women before ? The fire…”
“You’re going to re…”
“Christo”
Another howl.
“The fire…”
She sat there for a moment, head down, sweat pouring across her face. Finally she looked up in exhaustion and more than a little defeat. She took a deep breath, “It was the night you were six months old…”
She didn’t stop talking for three hours.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Dean stumbled his way up the stairs after midnight, he vaguely remembered something about Grace and the kids coming in but the whole thing was like a dream. He opened each of the kids doors and placed one hand on their face before going to his room. He didn’t turn on the light for fear of waking Grace. As he slipped off his shirt and jeans. As he lied back in bed he thought he saw a figure hanging from the ceiling for a moment and his blood went cold. He started to scream at the top of his lungs as grace turned on the light and tried to shake him fully awake.
Dean came too and looked around his bedroom. The kids were at the door and Grace was staring at him in what could only be undiluted shock. They were terrified which was nothing to what he was feeling. For just a moment he sat there on the bed in shock. The only thought going through his mind was, “Who the hell were these people ?”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Sam was gathering his stuff into his satchel as she sat on the bed pleading with him, “You can’t change anything Sam. It won’t do any good”
He ignored her as he threw clothes and supplies into the bag with one hand, the other repeatingly dialing Dean’s number in Lawrence. The female computer telling him all circuits were down was only making him angrier and angrier.
“What do you thing you can do Sam ? One person ? Against the forces of evil ? What do you expect to accomplish ?’
He shoved the phone into his pocket as he shouldered the bag over his shoulder, “Whatever I can”
He started walking towards the door as she called out, “How the hell am I supposed to get out of here ?”, she said gesturing around the bed.
Sam gave her smile 10 (too much devil for his own good with just a tinge of amusement), “No way I’m telling you”
He could hear her screams all the way out of the dorm.
To be continued…
Part Three
The night road stretched out before him into the night.
Sam was gunning the jet black, 1967 Implala, his brother and him had fixed up the year he went off to college. The adrenaline from Meg was wearing off so the industrial strength gas station coffee he had bought better do the trick. It was a day to Lawrence from where he was and no matter how many times he hit redial, he couldn’t get Dean or his parents house.
He gunned the car even faster. If half of what Meg told him was right, he was going to be too late.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The moment had passed as quickly as it had come and Dean felt like shit.
He sat at the kitchen table, Grace looking through his head as he milked the cup of coffee in his hand. No matter how much he put in the machine, it never came out strong enough for him.
“You going to tell me what all that was about ?”
Dean tried not to look up, knowing that Grace was just starting and the question didn’t really have an answer.
“You scared me and the lids half to death, listen to me Dean”, her hand hit the table, spilling his coffee out of the cup.
Dean looked up to her and once again that strange disconnected feeling came over him. He could see her, Grace Winchester, his wife and love of his life, but there was another part, another part of him that knew he was sitting at the kitchen table with a complete stranger, “I’m all ears”
She sighed as she got up and stomped out of the room, her legendary patience running thin. He heard her go upstairs as he mulled over his cup of not coffee, he looked over to the phone for a moment as if he had heard it ring. As he walked across the kitchen floor in his socks he had another intense flash of déjà vu, a feeling he had done this before.
He picked up the phone hesitantly and out it to his ear, “Hello ?”
No dial tone, bled out static and a small tinny voice that if he had to swear on was Sam. It was screaming it’s little cartoon mouse voice over the static, he couldn’t make a word out but the tone was plain as day. It was a tone that the brother’s were all too familiar with. A tone that seemed to follow them no matter where they went.
Trouble.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
“Dean !!”, Sam yelled into his cell, “DEAN YOU’RE IN TROUBLE !! DEAN !!”
The line sounded like it picked up but he could hear nothing on the other end. And though his foot was to the floor, Sam managed to erg out a small amount of acceleration out of the old girl. It was no longer a theory, his brother was in trouble, and he was going to be too late.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Dean slipped on his mechanic jumpsuit as Grace sat on the bed and watched. He forced his reactions to be normal, to be natural. He put it on as he had a hundred times before, yet for some reason it grabbed and pulled in every little place. It was as if he had never put it on before.
“Was this always so small ?’, he asked out loud as he fought with one of the legs.
“Well you usually don’t wear boxers under it”, Grace said turning on the TV.
“Little tight to go commando isn’t it ?”
“You never seemed to mind”, as she changed the channel.
Sighing he took the uniform off and started to shuck his boxers, that was when he saw the fire on TV, “Turn that up !”, he said almost tripping over his own underwear.
“Reports are coming in now, it seems the fire started somewhere in the student dorm section and spread to the rest of the building. Police are now trying to contain the fire before it claims more of the historical Berkley campus. The fire chief is putting the death toll in the hundreds since the fire started at night, while most of the students were sleeping. To recap, a five alarm fire has claimed the lives on hundreds of UC Berkeley students last night as a dorm fire ran out of control….”
“Oh Dean”, Grace said throwing down the remote and putting her hands around his shoulders, “Baby you think he’s ok ?”
Dean barely held her back as he watched his brother’s dorm go up in flames. He looked over to the phone again and wondered.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
“Ma’am are you sure you’re ok ?”
The fireman watched the young blond girl walk around the fire in wonder. He assumed she was in shock but as the ceiling collapsed he could swear he saw a smile race past her face before she realized he was watching her, “I’m great, just great”, she said moving towards him, “What time is it anyways ?”
The young man looked down and uncovered his watch from the bulky outfit all firefights wore. When he looked up to tell her it was past 5am she was gone, the blanket that was on her shoulders lying discarded on the pavement. For no reason he could pinpoint, the young man was glad to see her go, though he wasn’t envious to wherever she may be going.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Sam almost fell asleep going to the bathroom. He felt the cold tile against his forehead and jerked himself awake, leaning in at the rest stop urinal. He shook his head awake and zipped up his pants. The coffee wasn’t doing the trick.
Washing his hands he saw his reflection in the old, broken mirror and saw another Sam looking back at him. It wasn’t his long hair, pulled back as was the fashion on campus. He didn’t see the knitted poncho some crafts girl had made him the winter before draped over his shoulders making him seem more the wanderer than he really was. Instead his hair was shorter, and bangs in his yes. He was wearing some kind of leather jacket and he would swear he saw the bulge of a gun under his shoulder. It was a somber Sam, a Sam without laugh lines or that playful gleam in his eyes. It was a different Sam altogether, a fake Sam, if he had to place money a lie of a Sam. But as soon the thoughts crossed his mind these words came out of his mouth, “They reveal all your lies, all your secrets, that they’re a true reflection of your soul, which is why it’s bad luck to break them”
“Mirrors don’t lie”, he said to no one.
“They can’t”, said the Sam in the mirror.
Sam’s head jerked up from the urinal. He cussed as he tumbled backwards, his legs getting caught on his still open jeans. His head hit the tile floor hard, the impact echoing in the empty bathroom.
The pain helped wake him up some but it only increased the feeling he was still dreaming.
What the hell was going on here ?, he thought to himself.
Paying for the gas and food Sam threw his stuff into the car and started it up, he clicked in the tape and peeled out as the music started. He had to get to Lawrence like now.
He looked behind him in the rear view mirror just to make sure there were no cops on his tail, instead all he saw was a pair of blue eyes narrowed in anger.
“Miss me ?”, Meg said as she reached out from the backseat to Sam.
From the outside it simply looked like the car veered off the road and through the fence.
To be continued…
Part Four
Sam blinked twice and then shook his head clear.
It took a huge amount of control not to look in the rear view mirror again. Somehow he was back 30 seconds before the crash. He still felt the heat of the flame and the gash on his cheek bleeding like a stuck pig. But he also knew none of that had happened…yet. He knew what was about to happen, so he decided to change the rules. Instead he gunned the Impala until it was nearly redlined. He heard something hit the back seat with a muffled gasp. Then as quickly as it jumped into action, the car screamed to a halt as he slammed on the brakes..
Sam closed his eyes as he felt the seat belt cut into his chest.
The sound of the body flying past him and breaking the front windhsield was music to his ears.
He saw Meg’s body roll off the hood and into the road in front of him. The headlights framed the look of shock and outrage on her face. It was nothing compared to when she heard the wheels screech as the car leapt foward again towards her.
The wet thump was even more satisfying than the glass breaking he thought to himself.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
“What do you think you can do ?”, the tone of Grace’s voice had grown higher and higher with the amount of clothes Dean threw into his duffel bad. He was ignoring her. He was ignoring everything. He only knew one thing and one thing only.
His brother was in trouble and he needed to help him.
It brought a clarity to his mind that seemed…familiar.
He knew who he was and that he had a mission. Their mission. The mission.
That phrase kept tumbling over and over in his mind, like an unbuckled passenger caught in the middle of a car wreck. He had no control over it, but it was there, and it meant something.
“Are you listening to me ?”, her hand was on his shoulder, her face next to his.
And there it was again, the duality of this wealth of emotions and memories that told him that this was his wife and he was madly in love with her. There were images of his kids birthdays, first tooth, how brave she was in the hospital, everything that made them real.
And the other thought that told him he had no idea who this woman was.
“No”, was all he said grabbing his bag and pulling his shoulder away.
“Dean it was a fire, a fire what are you going to do ?”, he started to yell as he made his way down the stairs, “What are you going to do that the fire department isn’t ? Why can’t you see ? HE IS PROBABLY ALREADY DEAD !!”
And he stopped.
She stopped too when she saw the look in his eyes as he looked up the stairs at her. The kids were rubbing their eyes wondering what all the fuss was about. And as they clung to their mother’s arms wondering why dad was dressed like he was moving Dean just glared at her.
The hate was like a cold bucket of water in his face.
“He isn’t dead”, was all he said as he slammed the door behind him.
He didn’t know where he was going, but he knew he no longer belonged there.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Sam slammed shut the glove compartment and stepped out of the car. Meg was still lying face down in the middle of the road.
“You can get up, I’m not getting any closer”, he said a good 50 feet from her.
Like a figure in strings she floated upwards until she as standing upright again, “And you seemed so into me at the bar”, her sneer was more natural than her smile he thought.
“Yeah I was thinking with my little head”, he said waiting.
“Didn’t look so small to me”, she said floating towards him.
His sneer matched hers, “You should see my brother”, and he threw it.
The holy water hit her dead in the face, smoke starting to seep through her fingers as she clawed at the liquid dripping into her shirt.
Every part of Sam wanted to run and take off in the car. It wanted to run away from her and back to his nice and normal life in Berkeley. He wanted to see that Jess girl again and more than anything, he wanted to hear his brother’s voice. He wanted all of that so much more than he wanted to be standing here facing off a demon.
Though he had to admit it felt kind of familiar.
He advanced on her screaming form, baseball bat over one shoulder, “I played second base on in high school, how’s my swing ?”
Her head made a satisfying thud as she rolled across the lanes of asphalt.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Dean walked up the city street in darkness.
It was barely 5am and only the paper man and the doughnut shop was open. But somehow he knew she would be waiting for him.
She was standing on her front door step, cup of black coffee in one hand, “Well come on Dean Winchester, I don’t have all day for you to figure it out !’
He smiled despite himself. He took the coffee as he dropped the bag in her front doorway, “Morning Missouri”
“Shut up boy, and don’t even give me that I only need the cliff notes crap. You’re in a lot more trouble than you think and we haven’t got much time”
“I have to find…”, he started.
“Boy, you ain’t gonna do your brother no good if you don’t know what’s going on !”
He sighed and bit down the harsh words that seemed to bubble up against his will, “And what’s going…”
“This ain’t real Dean…you aren’t even here !”
He stopped mid-sip and looked at her, “Then where am I ?”
“Well that’s the question, isn’t it ?”
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
H-how did you know I was in the backseat , she said trying to crawl away from Sam.
Sam hit the back of her head again, Magic
Truth was he didn't know. it was as if he saw the start of a movie and then found himself sitting at the credits. There was a slight pain in his head, like he ate too much ice cream too fast. But it was fading, unlike his feeling of unease.
She made a grunting sound and coughed blood into the asphalt, Why are you following me ?
She looked back at him, blood flowing from her mouth, making her smile look more like a Halloween mask than actual flesh and blood, No way I'm telling...
He hit her again. He had suddenly reemebered how much he hated Halloween all over again.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I'm not here ? , Dean asked scratching his head in confusion.
No, you’re here, you just think I'm here. I am a manifestation of our subconscious mind trying to tell you what's going on , she walking slowly around him.
A what of my what ?
She smacked him in the back of the head, Don't act the fool boy, you know what I said. Why you have this need to play dumb all the time ?
Dean rubbed the back of his head, For a dream you hit too damn hard
So you think this is a dream ? , she said stopping and looking at him.
Dean thought about for a moment, No
Then what is it ?
A nightmare , he said looking at some far off point. He swore he could hear Sam's voice, Sam ! , he called out, trying to focus his attention on the feeling of his brother. It was like he was just down the street yet so much farther away. The feeling this was some kind of a nightmare increased, like when time and distance rubberbanded in a dream. The feeling of not moving but going somewhere very fast at the same time.
It was his father's voice that broke any chance of concentration, I thought I told you never to come here again , Dean looked up in more outrage than shock, And I know I told you to leave my boys alone”, as he pointed at Missouri.
The feeling that Sam was close by left as quickly as it came.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Sam stopped mid-swing, the faint sound of his brother's voice shot a spark straight up his spine, Dean !! , he called out into the darkness.
He saw a figure start to walk out of the underbrush by the side of the road.
Dean !! , Sam yelled running over to the figure. He almost dropped the bat in relief as the figure opened it’s arms at Dean. He dropped the bat in shock as he felt a hand grip around his throat.
What did you do to my sister ? , the figure said lifting Sam off the ground with one hand effortlessly.
Wrong brother , was all Sam heard Meg say behind him as he blacked out.
To be continued...
Part Five
“Dad”, Dean said moving himself between Missouri and John. He looked slightly drunk and incredibly mad. Dean couldn’t say he didn’t know why.
When Sammy had hit 13 he had become obsessed with the fire that almost claimed Mary and his own life. He was sure that it wasn’t a normal fire and that somehow it was paranormal in nature. It was a theory that didn’t get much support in the Winchester house, so Sammy looked elsewhere. He found Missouri.
She had set him on the path of the unexplained that lived among us, a path that eventually led Sam to Berkley and to study the unexplained and unknown. A path that led away from the Winchester family altogether. John had threatened Sam with everything from financial starvation to disowning him outright. Nothing had swayed Sammy from leaving. So nothing had swayed from John blaming Missouri.
“You ran one of my son’s off, you trying for another ?”, he said walking dangerously towards the woman.
“John Winchester you know better than this”, she called over Dean’s shoulder, “I know you want her back but this isn’t the way !!”
“What is she going on about Dean ?”, he said through gritted teeth.
“Dad, Sam’s in trouble. We don’t have time for this”
“I’m not going to let her ruin your life like she did with Sam. She isn’t going to lead someone else down that damned path that you can’t get off of. It’s a darkness Dean, a darkness that traps you there forever. You never get off that path, stay off that path”
“Dad, Missouri didn’t lead me down that path”, Dean said edging towards his father. He got close enough to notice he wasn’t drunk, he was tired, tired and angry. He put his hand gently on his father’s shoulder, “It was you, it was you she out on that path, not Sam. We followed you. You have to remember”
John closed his eyes for a moment, like a drowning man trying to find some footing. And again Dean could hear it, Sam’s yelling. This time he knew his father did also.
“Sam ?”, dean called out again. His father though looked right at Missouri, “You’re doing this”, and he started to slid something out from under his coat, “You’re making us hear that”
“John Winchester don’t you dare…”, she said taking a few steps back in panic as the gun came out from it’s holster.
“DAD ! NO !!”, Dean screamed as he leapt at his dad.
They both fought for the barrel in the confusion. A deadly dance with the end of a gun as the focus. They were both screaming at the other one at the top of their lungs, but both had the wind knocked out of them as the gun went off.
Both sat there for a moment in shock, not moving. It was the slow drip of blood from the wound that made them both look down as a puddle began to form.
“You shot me”, was all John could say as he dropped the gun and fell over. The wound went through the top of his thigh, ripping through the denim and exiting the other side. He grasped his leg as if it was one fire. Dean looked at the gun as if it was a snake.
“Dean ?”, Missouri asked him.
“Dean ?”, his dad begged him.
“Dean”, he heard his brother whisper to him.
Without thinking he turned and pointed the gun out at nothing.
“Sammy”, he said under his breath and fired.
No one saw where the bullet disappeared to.
Sam was losing consciousness. The world was withdrawing into a small little point in the distance and was growing smaller. He couldn’t feel his legs and more and his arms were well on their way. He couldn’t inhale but with his last breath he uttered the only prayer had known to work since he was a child.
“d-dean”, was the ragged call.
Seconds later a bullet came flying out of nowhere and embedded itself into the man’s forehead. The look of shock sat there for a long moment and then, like a tree falling, he slowly went over and down. His hand finally giving up the grip it had on Sam. Both of them collapsing in a heap, one moving towards death and the other moving towards life again. Somehow this all felt familiar.
“Wh-what did you do ?”, Meg screamed at Sam’s prone body, “What the fuck did you do to my brother !!”
Sam could only half chuckle as he massaged air back down his throat. He couldn’t move and there were still black spots in his eyes, but he wasn’t worried any more. He knew, he knew what she didn’t.
Dean was coming.
“What the hell…”, John said looking up from the floor.
“You were right”, Dean said ignoring his dad, looking to Missouri, “This isn’t real”
“It’s as real as you make it, as real as you want it to be”
Dean looked down at his dad, “It gave him mom, me a wife…and Sammy…what did it give Sammy ?”
“What do you think would make Sam happy ?”, she asked knowing he already knew the answer.
“Finding out what happened that night”, he said more to himself.
“And what do you want more now than a family and your mother ?”
“Sam”, he said looking out across the distance, “Sam”, he said with even more force.
A hole started to open up in front of him. It shimmered like water, it’s surface black and hidden. He stepped over his father’s body as he walked into the portal.
“Dean, don’t leave…”, he started.
“We never left dad you, we just stopped following you”, and he was gone.
Meg grabbed Sam by the back of his head, pulling him up by his hair, “How the hell did you do that ?”
Sam croaked out an unintelligible response, his throat still on fire from being manhandled. She tossed him down the road like he was a rag doll, he skipped twice off the asphalt and slammed into the Impala’s car door. He heard her heels clocking off the tarmac as she came towards him.
“Sweetheart that car is a classic”, and the cocking of a gun. Sam looked up and Meg turned around to see Dean standing in the middle of the road, gun leveled at Meg’s eye, “And damned if I am going to see you fuck it up”, and he fired. The wet think as she spun with the bullet echoed off into the night. Her body hit the ground as smoke rose from the place where her eye once sat, “That and I am kinda fond of the kid also”.
Putting the gun away he ran over and knelt down next to Sam, checking his younger brother for injury. Sam put one hand on Dean’s arm and smiled, “Took you long enough”, he managed to force out.
Dean smiled grimly as he helped him up, “I had a few issues to deal with before I knew what I wanted”
Sam leaned up against the car watching Meg’s body fade away, “And what do you want ?”, he asked.
Dean looked around, the endless road that stretched off to nowhere, no destination the last. His car that would take him to where he needed to go and his brother. Who would be with him no matter how apart they were. And for the first time in a long time, Dean felt at peace with his life and the choices he made. He looked over his head and saw Sam, the smile on his face told him all he needed to know.
“I want to get back on the road”, he put an arm around Sam, “I want to get back to killing every bastard I can find…you with me ?”
Sam looked around, he was no closer to finding the thing that killed Jess or his mom or why it came after him. But he had a road, he had a car and he had his brother. And the smile on Dean’s face told him all he needed to know.
“Yeah, I got exactly what I need”
As they got into the car and drove off, they had no idea where they were heading, but they had known where they had been. As long as they were together they could figure out the rest.
Epilogue
The image of Missouri shimmered and reformed itself as the silhouette of a dark man. It knelt down to the prone body of John, his voice like a cold winter wind, “Well, well, well, look at that. Given everything in the world they wanted, they still find each other and leave you John, what kind of father does that make you ? So how many times do we have to go through this John ?”
John Winchester tried to crawl away from the man, but the pain in his leg was too much, “This is how it ends Johhny boy. You alone, begging for an end, and your boys leaving you far away in the dust. How many times is this ? And each time they don’t choose you, what’s that say ?”
“T-they won’t…”, he said still trying to move himself.
“Oh they will”, the shadowed man said laughing, “It’s the only thing they really want. Is this how you want it to end John ? You by yourself while your kids ride off into the sunset…is this how it is going to end John ?”
And there, exhausted, bleeding and out of his mind John collapsed. He just gave up, “Fine”, was all he said.
That was more than enough for the shadow to move into him.
The demon and the man both gasped as they felt the power rush through them.
Sam woke with a gasp.
Sitting completely upright he sat there, panting into the darkness of the room. For a moment he didn’t know where he was or what was going on.
But as with most nights it was the sound of his brother that brought him back to reality.
“Bad dreams ?”
Sam looked over to Dean, sitting up in the corner, laptop on his lap.
“Yeah”, he said shaking his head as he sat on the side of the bed.
“Jess ?”
“No, was more…”, and the images dissolved like a mist from the morning sun. Glimaces of Meg and their dad all faded into the nirmal background noice where all dreams seem to go once forgotten.
“More what ?”, Dean asked leaning forward.
“I don’t know”, Sam said trying to grab at what he could, “You ever wonder…”
And then silence.
“I ever wonder what ?”
And Sam looked at him, “Ever wonder what it would be like if mom lived and we had a normal life ?”
Sam could see the echo in Dean’s eyes, but as quickly as it appeared it faded, “Nope”, and he went back to the computer.
“Never ?”, Sam asked not beleiving.
“Nope, what the hell would I do if I couldn’t do this ?”
Sam laughed and shook his head, “You could be a mechanic or something”
Without even looking up he said, “Nah those damn jumpsuits were too tight”
And they looked at each other for a long moment.
They shook their heads and went back to looking for their father.
It was the only thing they really wanted."