The wonderful story that is Jürgen Melzer's life.
Why is it that Melzer ALWAYS needs five sets against clearly worser players (seeded somewhere in the three-digits) these days? Well, has it ever been otherwise, really?
Here s how it
Srsly, he is such a wuss. It starts promising (as always) - he wins the first set -- scoring one break against Berankis, (edit: he lost his serve twice but managed to re-break immediatly, sorry - my matchtracker kept failing me) enough for winning that first set. Alright, doubts sneak in, nevertheless, why, then, did he not make another break? Be more domineering and manly about that winning business... But you put that aside, too early you're thinking, whilst keeping a watchful eye on slamtracker (what a shitty name for that liverscorethingy anyway) every now and then. Not obsessing, for it is no use with Melzer.
So they both keep winning their serves and the figures go up and upper, around comes the 9th game you're thinking, well, Melz isn't it about time to put a little more effort in here - to snatch and nail that ONE break you need? While at the same time wondering why this takes you a slightly longer, more irritating while than in the first set. Okay, you're saying, the heat and all. Not powering yourself out too much here, dehydrating too early in the game - so grab the last chance rather than an early one, to not catch a silly re-break maybe. You're all following my /Melzer's logic here, right? So then when it was about time to step it up a notch, things remained in equillibrium. Though it SEEMED Melzer had better chances here and there. He converted a break to only catching an immediate re-break (love game!= no love from me for that). 5:5! Routinely, you kept doing other stuff on the interwebz, not worrying too much (it's in vain) - when, suddenly: Tie-break! What for, you're thinking! Hell! Melzer has not been particularly good at winning those lately. And. Woooosh! There goes the second set. To be clear, my outpourings here only stem from the matchtracker interface -- I had not any moving images available as proof (why was China not interested in crappily streaming this fuckery? Must have to do with the impredictability of Melzer's game in general = no fun for betting ;))
-- Alright, tie-break lost. Due to three lost serves, I believe, by Melzer. On to the next set. Still being hopeful. Somewhat. Not wanting to invests TOO much here. But, alas things fall into place, he wins 6:3 rather effortlessly (why not before, you're thinking). Slightly more chipper mood. Now I want him to win (which always sucks). So that 2nd set was only a stupid exception, afterall (can't be with Melzer) - only another (of the many, many) suspense adding elements written into Melzer eternal script of his life on the pro-tour.
Along came the fourth set. Dynamics should have been established, right? No excessive amplitudes in the negatives...Afterall, he won the third set. Well, it's a Melzer game afterall. So don't bet on that. And then it all went wrong and Melzer just pissed it away. Flushing that set down the toilet. Woooosh! Again! By this time you're like, awww, I am tired and wanna sleep now, don't want to alternate between reading my book (to keep peace of mind, or at least, that was what I was pretending) AND staring (it was hallucinative staring at this point) any longer. Forfucksakes, Melzer win this thing, will you!!!
Rest assured, I did not scream or anything. I, unlike Melzer, kept my cool and sarted looking for some music to accompany Melzer's journey (I figured, it was to become a journey (with unsure outcome), that much was clear at that point and needed a soundtrack) Luckily, J. had downloaded Sufjan Stevens' latest album and I started playing that, whilst that matchtracker was not being my friend. Sufjan added a particular spiritual, hippiesque, relaxed note to whatever matchtracker kept showing me. I managed to swallow the 1:6 somehow and was expecting ANYTHING. Strangely, this total openness towards either another epic stupid loss, or thrashing Bernankis in the end, for both seemed equally possible, was a relief. I started chuckling and was eagerly awaiting the masses of break chance Melzer would accure to then OF COURSE not convert. I was guessing at least 5. Naturally, he lost his first serve immediatly. Things were heading smoothly for the epic stupid loss side, he was already down 2:4-- but then he kept not loosing his other serves (3:4), but also unable to re-break. Whoever gets to write Melzer's script must have taken the concept of an unreliable character to the extreme with him. How cruel! Makes it hard to believe in him. Question here. Would you now bet any momeyz on him to make that crucial re-break?
Answer is: YES!! I (mentally only, rest assured) checked my savings and quickly transacted ALL my moneyz to some Chinese betting website - just about in time before he scored that re-break for whatever reasons (only a Melzer can know them, rest assured, he will talk about them on his blog tmrw. As alawys in such cases) and managed to not loose his serve. Things were heading for another silly knock-out, he was 3:4 down already, when, miraculously (for reasons only he knows), he converted his ONE chance for a re-break 4:4. WOW! How did that happen? Sufjan Stevens started singing in his whiny voice about the world being a mess and we're all going to die whilst Melzer started his resurrection. 4:4 - 5:5. The end was NOT near, alas! Hope lingered somewhere in the back of my mind. Still very shy, though. He even won his serve. 6:5. Alright then! How about apacely bitchslappin that Berankis and we can all go to bed now?
Melzer was not having that. Respectively the eternal script of his life had a few more crunching moments of suspense in hold for him! It took him 5, let me spell that our for you: F-I-V-E (!!!) chances before he could convert his advantage to finally win that game/set&match. After Berankis had the chance to save his ass for a tie-break, even. Damn! Sufjan kept lamenting about the end of the world. Cue to the church-like boys-choir with fair voices which started kickin in (to announce Jesus' arrival to save us all, even Melzer?) -- when, finally, after yet another deuce he somehow managed to score/scrape together two points in a row. End of game. And off to bed.
EDIT: Due to both Cilic and Davidenko being ousted in the US Open and DelPotro not competing, he might be ranked 13. soon. Only needs ot beat that Ferrero. Only. But that is another wonderful Melzer story his script has for us (and him) in hold.
Have some photographic evidence to illustrate the mess;
My favorite, of course...
Hot!Hot!Hot!
Here s how it
Srsly, he is such a wuss. It starts promising (as always) - he wins the first set -- scoring one break against Berankis, (edit: he lost his serve twice but managed to re-break immediatly, sorry - my matchtracker kept failing me) enough for winning that first set. Alright, doubts sneak in, nevertheless, why, then, did he not make another break? Be more domineering and manly about that winning business... But you put that aside, too early you're thinking, whilst keeping a watchful eye on slamtracker (what a shitty name for that liverscorethingy anyway) every now and then. Not obsessing, for it is no use with Melzer.
So they both keep winning their serves and the figures go up and upper, around comes the 9th game you're thinking, well, Melz isn't it about time to put a little more effort in here - to snatch and nail that ONE break you need? While at the same time wondering why this takes you a slightly longer, more irritating while than in the first set. Okay, you're saying, the heat and all. Not powering yourself out too much here, dehydrating too early in the game - so grab the last chance rather than an early one, to not catch a silly re-break maybe. You're all following my /Melzer's logic here, right? So then when it was about time to step it up a notch, things remained in equillibrium. Though it SEEMED Melzer had better chances here and there. He converted a break to only catching an immediate re-break (love game!= no love from me for that). 5:5! Routinely, you kept doing other stuff on the interwebz, not worrying too much (it's in vain) - when, suddenly: Tie-break! What for, you're thinking! Hell! Melzer has not been particularly good at winning those lately. And. Woooosh! There goes the second set. To be clear, my outpourings here only stem from the matchtracker interface -- I had not any moving images available as proof (why was China not interested in crappily streaming this fuckery? Must have to do with the impredictability of Melzer's game in general = no fun for betting ;))
-- Alright, tie-break lost. Due to three lost serves, I believe, by Melzer. On to the next set. Still being hopeful. Somewhat. Not wanting to invests TOO much here. But, alas things fall into place, he wins 6:3 rather effortlessly (why not before, you're thinking). Slightly more chipper mood. Now I want him to win (which always sucks). So that 2nd set was only a stupid exception, afterall (can't be with Melzer) - only another (of the many, many) suspense adding elements written into Melzer eternal script of his life on the pro-tour.
Along came the fourth set. Dynamics should have been established, right? No excessive amplitudes in the negatives...Afterall, he won the third set. Well, it's a Melzer game afterall. So don't bet on that. And then it all went wrong and Melzer just pissed it away. Flushing that set down the toilet. Woooosh! Again! By this time you're like, awww, I am tired and wanna sleep now, don't want to alternate between reading my book (to keep peace of mind, or at least, that was what I was pretending) AND staring (it was hallucinative staring at this point) any longer. Forfucksakes, Melzer win this thing, will you!!!
Rest assured, I did not scream or anything. I, unlike Melzer, kept my cool and sarted looking for some music to accompany Melzer's journey (I figured, it was to become a journey (with unsure outcome), that much was clear at that point and needed a soundtrack) Luckily, J. had downloaded Sufjan Stevens' latest album and I started playing that, whilst that matchtracker was not being my friend. Sufjan added a particular spiritual, hippiesque, relaxed note to whatever matchtracker kept showing me. I managed to swallow the 1:6 somehow and was expecting ANYTHING. Strangely, this total openness towards either another epic stupid loss, or thrashing Bernankis in the end, for both seemed equally possible, was a relief. I started chuckling and was eagerly awaiting the masses of break chance Melzer would accure to then OF COURSE not convert. I was guessing at least 5. Naturally, he lost his first serve immediatly. Things were heading smoothly for the epic stupid loss side, he was already down 2:4-- but then he kept not loosing his other serves (3:4), but also unable to re-break. Whoever gets to write Melzer's script must have taken the concept of an unreliable character to the extreme with him. How cruel! Makes it hard to believe in him. Question here. Would you now bet any momeyz on him to make that crucial re-break?
Answer is: YES!! I (mentally only, rest assured) checked my savings and quickly transacted ALL my moneyz to some Chinese betting website - just about in time before he scored that re-break for whatever reasons (only a Melzer can know them, rest assured, he will talk about them on his blog tmrw. As alawys in such cases) and managed to not loose his serve. Things were heading for another silly knock-out, he was 3:4 down already, when, miraculously (for reasons only he knows), he converted his ONE chance for a re-break 4:4. WOW! How did that happen? Sufjan Stevens started singing in his whiny voice about the world being a mess and we're all going to die whilst Melzer started his resurrection. 4:4 - 5:5. The end was NOT near, alas! Hope lingered somewhere in the back of my mind. Still very shy, though. He even won his serve. 6:5. Alright then! How about apacely bitchslappin that Berankis and we can all go to bed now?
Melzer was not having that. Respectively the eternal script of his life had a few more crunching moments of suspense in hold for him! It took him 5, let me spell that our for you: F-I-V-E (!!!) chances before he could convert his advantage to finally win that game/set&match. After Berankis had the chance to save his ass for a tie-break, even. Damn! Sufjan kept lamenting about the end of the world. Cue to the church-like boys-choir with fair voices which started kickin in (to announce Jesus' arrival to save us all, even Melzer?) -- when, finally, after yet another deuce he somehow managed to score/scrape together two points in a row. End of game. And off to bed.
EDIT: Due to both Cilic and Davidenko being ousted in the US Open and DelPotro not competing, he might be ranked 13. soon. Only needs ot beat that Ferrero. Only. But that is another wonderful Melzer story his script has for us (and him) in hold.
Have some photographic evidence to illustrate the mess;
My favorite, of course...
Hot!Hot!Hot!