(no subject)
I am once again disgusted with myself, apon actions i wish i could chew up and swallow, apon the breathing i posses because for some reason God has decided i need to ruin every situation i shall ever stumble apon. Finished with trying to cover up the bleeding worldy known wreckage i will always be, exhausted with existing, tired of watching everyone i get close to wither at my expense, FINISHED with being me, tired of being this mature girl that knows not how to rid herself of the garbage in her mind. i take it back, may i please take the burden i have bestowed upon you and our innocent friendship, the friendship we ignorantly destroyed for one moment of bliss that left us feeling dirty, over flowing with shame, bursting with guilt, sobing with the sorrow of once again participating in my habit of being foolish. i want to rot, waste away, dissapear, smiling is a chore that i am sick of trying to check off my list, breathing is right up there with it. sometimes you have to hurt yourself some where else in order to forget about the pain with in, whats eating up your insides and tearing your mind to shreds. i am dull. i am sick. i am nothing i want to wake up to.