037- [Accidental voice]

[wayward_sam]

-sus Christ, it's one thing to get killed in my own bedroom and come back from the dead, but to come back missing some vital equipment was just-

[There's a pause. Well crap, that's why sane people don't talk to themselve; they might accidentally record their mutterances.]

Uh... let's not talk about the past few days. Or the past week, for me. Ever.

Comments

[master_of_dudes]

Ya died? ...Sorry about that, dude. But hey! The girl thing wasn't so bad! You got free boobs to play with for a day!

[wayward_sam]

Yeah, my second death here. I'm almost starting to get used to it, in a morbid kind of way.

... dude, you played with your own boobs?!

[master_of_dudes]

Yeahhhh, kinda sad, but ya do get used to after a while. I'm on my third. One more and I'm all outta options.

W-well they were mine! It's not like I was hurting anyone! And they were D-cups! What else was I supposed to do with them?!

[wayward_sam]

... what happens after the fourth one?

It just seems... wrong. I don't know, I was just happy when I could finally use the bathroom while standing up again.

[master_of_dudes]

I dunno. I just know once you reach five, something really really bad happens.

Oh, me too! But I mean... it was there, so why not? It's not it was someone elses' boobs I was playing with, so it wouldn't be that awkward or anything.

[wayward_sam]

That sounds... ominous.

Like I said, it just seems wrong. Then again, I had no boobs, so maybe I'd be singing a different tune otherwise. Unlikely, but I'll allow it as a possibility.

[master_of_dudes]

Yeah. Pretty much. I'm gonna try to avoid getting to #5 anyway, since... it's really not cool to die five times.

You didn't?! But I thought you were a girl! Unless...

..............is your full name Samantha?

[wayward_sam]

It's really not cool to die once. Trust me, I knew that even before I came to this psycho ward.

... no. Not all girls have boobs. Apparently, I still had an... athletic build. Flat as a board. I'm really not complaining, actually.

[master_of_dudes]

You mean you died? Like, died died and never came back?

Oh. Well. Sucks to be you. You couldn't even enjoy being a girl!

[wayward_sam]

Like... died and had to be brought back. It's a long, complicated mess involving demons and the Apocalypse and the gateway to Hell.

I'm pretty cool with being a dude. Honestly. Part of what makes girls so great is that they've got things that I don't, so it'd take away a bit of the fun if I was stuck in one of their bodies for the rest of forever.

[master_of_dudes]

Oh. Sounds kinda like what I went through! Only everyone else died during the apocalypse and it was just me and my team. And Slade. But whatever he doesn't count ever.

Good point. And you could never write your name in the snow if you were a girl. 'Course, I don't think I'd have much trouble, since I'd just turn myself into a boy anyway but still.

[wayward_sam]

Everyone else? Tell me you're talking about some kind of alternate reality or something.

... so if you can just change yourself into whatever, why was it such a novelty to have boobs?

[master_of_dudes]

Nope. Long story short, Raven's dad is this big bad demon dude and everyone on earth died and we had to stop him and I ended up fighting some evil version of me and it was weird. But we won! And then everything went back to normal!

Because it's not fun to change genders on a normal basis. Certain parts go inside out and I can feel it and it's really not cool.

[wayward_sam]

Oh. Well, it's good to know that I'm almost normal compared to most of the other shenanigans the rest of you have been up to.

All right, that was probably more information than I ever needed, so thanks and remind me never to ask after that again.

[master_of_dudes]

Yup! Until you've gone through a TV to defeat a villain, get stuck as a lamp, break reality, and have the whole world turn British, you're more normal than me. Oh, and super powers. Man is it good to be weird!

No problem!