Lawless, Winged and Unconfined - A short Sastiel fic
Title: Lawless, Winged and Unconfined
Author:wayward_idjit
Rating: PG-13 (mentions of sexual hints)
Pairing/Characters: Sam/Castiel
Warnings: Sam being seriously more stupid than ever, references to the show, bits of profanity.
Word Count: 2,583
Summary (from prompt): Cas asking Sam for advice on human relationships, and Sam thinks he’s trying to go after Dean and gets sad but still tries to help (and of course there’s a happy ending).
Author's Note: This was written for Tumblr’s sassyexchange2012 project, for Molly.
I chose the second prompt because it immediately attracted me. I really enjoyed the writing process of this, even though it’s really not long.
The title is a reference to the fic itself, I guess. And it’s something that belongs to Shakespeare, it's not mine.
It’s been a while now. Sam realized that it’s beyond a little crush, that he won’t just get over it. He doesn’t know what it is exactly that drew him in.
Maybe it’s the combination of messy black hair and clear, blue eyes.
Maybe it’s his face while he gets confused over Dean’s idiotic jokes or phrases.
Like when he’s just come back from the grocery store and found Castiel sitting on a chair and looking at the near wall. Dean was across from him and commented on the Star Trek movie he’s been watching for who-the-hell-counts time (he still claims that it isn’t as good as the series, though).
Dean hadn’t acknowledged Sam with so much as a grunt when he closed the door and put both plastic bags on the floor, and he thought he’d heard Cas mumble his name.
After a minute, Dean laughed and clapped his hands. Sam had told him that he looks like a retarded seal, which won him an old pillow forcefully being thrown at his face.
“If you woulda seen it one day maybe you’d get it,” Dean said. “Kirk was bangin’ this green hot chick, but her roommate is Zoe Saladana who hates his guts, and she comes into the room so he hides under the bed. The two hot chicks talk while Saladana takes off her uniform, and Kirk is breathing freakishly loudl-“
Sam raised his hands up in the air. “Yeah, thanks, but I think I’ll pass.”
“But you haven’t even heard about the whole movie!”
“What I got is hot, slutty chicks and pretty-boy horny dudes travelling around in space.”
Dean pursed his lips. “That actually describes to detail the plot of this porno I’ve seen last month…”
“Dean!-“
“Yeah, okay, loser.” Dean rolled his eyes and put them back on the little TV screen.
“I have to agree with Sam.” Cas said from behind them. “The scene as you described it doesn’t imply any kind of familiar humor in Hollywood films as they are made today.”
“Since when do you know anything about films, Cas? And it’s not funny yet. I haven’t told you about the funny part.”
“I’m sure that’d change my opinion,” Sam murmured but Dean hadn’t heard him because he was apparently in the middle of a speech.
“This is what I don’t understand though, how does the pointy-eared gets Saladana? He’s not a bit as good looking as Kirk.”
“You’re so heterosexual sometimes that it makes my soul ache,” Sam told him.
“Oh shut up, you know what I mean. Besides, I’m not exactly the guy who said last week that Grease is a great movie, and who rolls in metaphorical glitter every morning. That’s you, Sasquatch.” Dean raised his eyebrows.
“If I weren’t so hungry I’d punch you,” Sam clarified and got on his feet. “And I said it’s ok,” he added while searching inside one of the plastic bags he brought with him.
Neither of them noticed Cas and his expression of confused concentration (or concentrated confusion) until he said, “I don’t understand what you were referring, Dean.”
Sam snickered because he didn’t have to turn around to know Dean’s rolling his eyes.
“Don’t mind him, Cas,” Sam told him, throwing Dean the first Chinese food bag and taking the other for himself.
Maybe it’s the way his mind works when it comes to humor.
Take for example last month. Cas had run into Anna and talked to her for some reason. While doing so he disappeared, of course, for a few days and never left any signs as to where he is exactly.
So they stayed at one place and waited. Because they came across less and less creatures over the last years, they both did still move around a lot, but not as much as they used to.
They also kept Cas with them, and he didn’t seem to mind.
After all, he had gripped them tight and raised them from perdition. After certain things, this included, you gotta stick together; and he’s, frankly, their best friend.
When Cas finally came back, Dean and Sam were eating a half-cold dinner at the lousy motel they stayed in then.
Cas suddenly appeared, out of nowhere, next to Dean and tapped on his shoulder. This had Dean jumping in his chair and almost dropping his hamburger onto the floor.
Sam laughed and received a death glare from his brother.
“Cas, you gotta stop doing this!”
The angel didn’t respond. He sat down on another chair and stared at the table.
“Cas? Is there something wrong?” Sam asked after putting a tomato slice in his mouth.
Cas raised his gaze to him but quickly returned it to the ugly rug and shook his head.
“What has Anna told you anyway?” Dean didn’t look away from his plate when he talked. “Shared some angel gossip with you, huh?”
“I don’t know. I wasn’t entirely listening.”
Sam snored. “I bet she’d be happy to know that.”
Cas shrugged. “I was too caught up on Uriel’s latest joke.”
Now it was Dean’s turn to be amused, although there was also a tinge of annoyance on his face. “Funniest angel in the garrison. Must be real fun to be around.”
“It was actually one of his best ones,” Cas smirked a little. “Why does the human cross the street?”
Dean and Sam looked at other and Dean asked, “Why?”
“to engage sexual relations with a one-armed parrot.”
Now the hamburger was on the floor.
And maybe he shouldn’t focus on the maybes.
I am in love with Castiel. He said this in his mind over and over again.
I am in love with Castiel.
The nerdy dude who has wings. Who is completely oblivious.
And who mentioned once that he’s indifferent to sexual orientations, which is really great, only it doesn’t mean a damn thing.
Sam thought a few months back that he and Anna might be hitting it off - a thought that annoyed him to no limit - but Cas made it clear that Anna is his sister and he’s not interested in incest, nor does he love her that way.
Sure, it still means jack squat, but at least he knows he isn’t attracted to one person.
It’s a surprise when one evening, after Dean left him in favor of a nearby bar filled with probably hot strippers, Sam catches Cas looking at the TV screen with his eyes squinted.
“Hey, what are you watching?”
“I think it must be a very strange show. Do girls talk about their nails frequently?”
Sam nodded. “All the time.”
“This never occurred to me.” Cas looked at the characters moving around one more second and then reached for the remote and turned it off.
“I was actually intending on talking to you, if you don’t mind,” he said and looked at Sam.
“Oh. No, sure, I don’t mind. What’s up?”
“I have a question. For advice. If you might be able to help.”
Sam raised his eyebrows but nodded. “What is it?”
“Well.” Cas looked suddenly very interested in his shoes. “I have a problem. I… I don’t know how to exactly put it…”
“Just spill,” Sam answered, now a bit concerned.
“For the first time in the very long while I’ve been alive, I… Feel… I think I’m deeply in love.”
Sam’s heart dropped to his underwear as he said, “Wow. Must be odd for you. What’s the problem?”
“The problem is that I’m pretty much clueless about, ah, this whole thing, and I’m also sure that he’s not as into this as I am.”
He. He. He. Sam wasn’t taken aback, but he was a bit surprised. He. He. He. “I see. So how do you want me to help you?”
Cas looked at him and looked concentrated and something else that Sam couldn’t put his finger on.
“I am positive that he does not think that it’s him.
He is so unbelievably smart and sometimes he’s funnier than all the angels put together.
But I can’t think about anything that will make him understand how I feel. Could you advice me what to do to draw his attention?”
Sam felt really really stupid. Of course. Smart and funny and a guy, of course that the one time he thinks he’s really in love with someone who could fall in love with him back, his big brother has to get in the way.
It’s ridiculous and ironic that Cas asked him for help, and he can’t turn it down. He suddenly feels sad, but he shouldn’t.
“Sam?” Cas’ voice made him come back to reality. To stare into the angel’s eyes with downright stupidity.
“Yeah, yeah,” Sam blurted out. “I… Um. Yeah. So…” he sighed and really thought about what Cas had said. “I think you should try to approach him. Show interest in his hobbies and interests, no matter how moronic they may be. Oh, and cook. If you cook for him he will be all over you for eternity.”
Cas puckered his lips, and it was both adorable and thoughtful.
“Alright. Sounds reasonable. Thank you, Sam. You helped without any complaint. I owe you.”
“Nah, it’s okay.” Sam managed to smile up at him.
The next few days dragged by slowly. And Cas didn’t seem to take his advice immediately, because Dean still looked more invested in Busty Asian Beauties than in the angel in the tax accountant vessel.
A week after their conversation, one morning when Sam was reading a book on his bed, Cas sat beside him.
Sam raised his look from the book to Cas and wished he hadn’t, because the blue eyes left him wordless.
“Hello Sam. What’s this book about?”
“Ah…” Sam wasn’t really sure anymore and had to glance back at it. “It’s Jane Eyre. Ah, not a book I can explain in two sentences.” Oh, doesn’t he sound like an idiot.
But Cas smiled slightly at him. “Maybe that means it’s that much more important to you.”
Sam didn’t know how to respond to that but tried his best. “Yes, it’s wonderful. One of my favorites. Dean always told me when we were younger that it’s for pussies, but then I’d call him an ass and deny him my pancakes for a week, so he stopped.” Goddamn fuck.
But Cas’ smile widened at that. “He probably learned the lesson he deserved, then.”
All in all, Dean was barely noticeable, and he and Cas didn’t exchange important thoughts once he did show up.
On the other hand, Cas was there almost every minute. It was weird.
One day he came behind Sam while he was typing on his laptop’s keyboard.
“Hello Sam.”
He turned around. “Hi.” He then finished the typing and scrolled down the results Google gave him to William Shakespeare.
“He is one of the few authors I’m familiar with.” Cas told him.
“Yeah, you and Dean both.” Sam smiled and entered a website called Shakespeare Is Wilder Than You.
Then he regretted it. “Oh god why!” he shouted and covered his eyes, so he didn’t see Cas titling his head to the right.
“If the English teacher truly loves his student, why does he keep slapping her rear?” Cas asked curiously.
Sam laughed nervously after he went back to the search results. “I’m really not the one to help you with that. Try my perverted brother.”
Cas pointed at the words 100 Shakespeare Phrases on the screen. “If you were looking for quotes, I think that will help.”
“Yeah, I was. Thanks,” Sam sighed.
Things started to feel even weirder when Cas tried to bake cookies, and actually made lumps of burned flour.
“Oh” was all he said when Sam told him how he should’ve proceeded and Dean looked really fucking amused while lying on his bed.
“It doesn’t matter, there’ll be other times.”
“I’m starting to think that maybe there won’t,” Cas whispered.
It took Sam a few seconds to understand. “Oh! This was for… Ah, yes. Well, I wouldn’t be worried if I were you.”
Cas stared at him, his eyes hopeful. “Really?”
“Of course! He doesn’t mind, you know. The fact that he’s probably making fun of you in his head right now doesn’t mean he isn’t fond of you,” Sam murmured to him, sort of glad that his brother read cartooned porn and didn’t pay attention to anything else in the world at the moment.
Cas was now confused. As if Dean making fun of everything that moves for more than two seconds is something new.
“What are you…” Cas started and then shut his mouth. “Oh.”
“What?”
“Nothing,” the angel cleared his voice and disappeared.
Two days later, Cas showed up again while Dean was in the bathroom. Sam was relieved he came back, although he didn’t understand why he just went in the first place.
“Hey, where’ve you been?”
Cas looked at him in a mixed expression that he couldn’t figure out the meaning behind. But he didn’t have to, because soon Cas was speaking.
“You really don’t understand, do you?” he sighed and stepped closer, his trenchcoat flipping at his sides.
“Dean is my friend and I would do anything for him. But it’s not him.”
Now Sam was confused. “It’s not him? Oh. You should’ve told me this earlier; I might’ve given you the wrong kind of advice.”
Cas looked at him so seriously that Sam took a step back.
“You still don’t see it? Are you kidding me?” he asked.
Sam didn’t know how to answer.
“You are so…” Cas took more steps toward him. “Stupid sometimes.”
“Thank you?”
Cas shook his head. “It’s you, Sam.”
Sam stared at him. “W-what?”
“It was always you. It’s taken me some time to realize this, what with all the things the three of us have been through. You are everything I’ve always known I want.”
Sam hung his mouth open. “If this is a dream I’ll be so pissed at myself in the morning.”
“I can assure you that this is not a dream,” Cas smiled.
Sam was beyond wordless. He attempted the question. “W…Why?”
“Sam.” Cas reached over and touched a strand of Sam’s hair. “Because of the reasons I told you then. You’re smart and funny, and excruciatingly beautiful.”
Then, he stopped and took a step back with regret showing on his face. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking that maybe you don’t want me back. That is fine, of course.”
“No, no!” Sam said quickly. “I… God, I just never thought it’d be me. I’ve been fucking miserable with the knowledge that you like Dean, and I haven’t… Oh wow, am I that much of an idiot? Are you sure you still wan-“
Sam shut up when Cas was in his personal space.
”Love to faults is always blind, always is to joy inclined,” Cas whispered, reaching over again and touching Sam’s cheek with the tips of his fingers.
When they moved against Sam’s lower lip, Cas came closer. “Lawless, winged, and unconfined, and breaks all chains from every mind.” he shot Sam a satisfied look. “I do understand what you see in William Shakespeare,” he said to Sam’s ear.
And then Cas was kissing him, and it made him dizzy, and it was awesome.
When they parted, Sam chuckled and squeezed the angel’s hands. “For first time being in love, you sure know how to act.”
Cas’ lips twitched. “I learned that from the English teacher.”